Mallory Langston
@primnimproper
Sorta-sabbitical-ing lawyer mom, former indigent parent counsel, plush robe and blanket enthusiast, Roger the alien fangirl, casually profane, bakes and builds shit.
When people ask whether I have travel plans for the summer, they don't realize that this is maybe the fifth or sixth cutest thing I've seen today. By bedtime, it won't even rank in the top 20 for the day. There's nothing out there for me.
"If i'm not a cat, why do I fit perfectly in this tiny cat bed? Explain that, human."
It'll never cease to amaze me that this is the recipe for a dog who wants to be an indoor cat.
"That dog needs a job." You think keeping the ears of 6 cats perfectly clean is easy??? That's 12 ears! Louise is *always* working! Sheesh.
Y'all probably need to see this video of Louise having a dream so good it made her tail wag.
I've never come across a trailer in the app. I took a screen recording to show you how mine flows. If there's a limit to how many titles I can stream, I've yet to run into it. (Knock on wood!)
We get skunk friends around our yard, and sometimes, they get spooked and spray. The only remedy that I've found that works for the lingering smell in the air is to--I'm so sorry--boil vinegar. It's as awful as it sounds, but it has worked for me more than once. 🙃 At least they're cute.
Neighbor text this afternoon: "I'm so sorry about your car! Let me know if you need anything." I was blissfully unaware of this mess out front. The upside is that I almost dropped this baby down to only liability coverage recently, but got distracted. Rare ADHD win.
If not for that snow, I'd have never known my husband was waiting for me at a Buffalo Wild Wings.
This silly little app (Finch) has me doing the most mundane, repetitive, entirely necessary but easily dismissed tasks every single day. WITH GLEE.
My front yard squirrel just confirmed the pregnancy rumors in spectacular fashion.
May 16, 2024: Elfo sticks his little head out from under some metal roof panels in our driveway. May 20, 2025: Socks is discovered in the bed of the truck of the men who've arrived at our house to do some construction work. I volunteer as tribute. Just reminding the universe that it is May again.
Elfo and Louise would crime for each other. He definitely thinks I'm in the wrong here.
If you're wondering why I have a BWW cup, it's because I had to take one last restaurant gig before starting law school in 2011. Ended up with 3 of these cups and married a line cook (with whom I flirted to pass the time). Five stars. Highly recommend.
If you see anything cuter than this today, please send me a vid. K thanks.
The best thing about being a licensed attorney is that--so long as you maintain your license--you are ALWAYS a licensed attorney. So what *am* I? An attorney. What do I *do*? Well, today, I turned Tiger into Batman.
Worked outside all day, but couldn't possibly wait until tomorrow to unbox. Currently calibrating.
He is! Tiger is the only one bigger than him now. Time flies. 🥹
Socks is really just exceptionally cute, and there's simply no way around that.
