jordan

@professorlitwick

they/them 35 queer, Seattle, gamer occasionally horny on main ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

798 Following440 Followers1,497 Posts

Bluesky

gamer

Is this your profile?Claim it and professorlitwick.dirty.social is yours.Claim profile

jordan@professorlitwick· 27d

cheeks? for hump day? groundbreaking

worm’s-eye view of a naked nonbinary person with a focus on their fat ass cheeks

jordan@professorlitwick· 28d

hi 😋

a naked selfie in front of a fogged up mirror; the face and upper torso are obscured, but chest down is mostly visible, including soft penis.

jordan@professorlitwick· 29d

hotel bathroom lighting really is that girl

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 26

These are official MTG tokens right?

A pair of white playing cards with handwritten text and hand drawn artwork. Each depicts:

OTTER

[A doodle of an otter]
_____________
Prowess

1/1

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 17

nude beach day

A selfie of Jordan as they lay on a blanket with a towel bundled under their head as a pillow. They are sweaty and naked, save for a pair of sunglasses. The sun is shining bright and the shadow of their hand holding their phone to take this picture is visible

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 9

heirloom tomato toast w/ everything seasoning on everything sourdough

Two slices of tomato toast. The tomatoes are golden yellow with patches of red, covered with everything bagel seasoning, sitting atop everything seasoning sourdough bread with mayo

jordan@professorlitwick· Apr 21

loving texts from my manager

An iPhone screenshot of two text messages in rapid succession:

Okay, sounds good!
Why does Marcia Marcia Marcia look like Antoni from queer eye? I can’t unsee it.

The second message had a blue HAHA reaction bubble.

jordan@professorlitwick· Apr 19

idk if im doing this right but i only picked up 5 booster packs and pulled both of these divas in the same pack 😌

5 Magic the Gathering Secrets of Strixhaven Play Booster foil packs and a Magic the Gathering Secrets of Strixhaven Prismari Artistry Commander Deck box

Two Magic the Gathering cards, “Lorehold, the Historian” and “Prismari, the Inspiration”

jordan@professorlitwick· Feb 6

not my cat but my bestie’s, his name peppercorn 😌

A black cat laying on a white keyboard captioned “helping”.

A black cat staring wistfully at a tub of mint chip ice cream captioned “möther mag I have some ice cream???”

a black cat staring up at the camera with its two front paws inside a pair of crocs captioned “peppercorn, those shoes are too big for you!!”

jordan@professorlitwick· Dec 10

I haven’t gotten out of bed yet… happy hump day

jordan@professorlitwick· Nov 13

got stabbed 😌

a hand-poke tattoo of the Ultrahand symbol from Tears of the Kingdom

jordan@professorlitwick· Nov 1

the only two pics i took tonight lol… quickly thrown together vampire i guess?

Mirror selfie of Jordan with their hair down wearing a lace eye mask and blacked out eye makeup, a black lace up medieval style shirt and fangs

Jordan in the same outfit with the addition of a black hoodie, and instead of a mirror selfie its a selfie in a reflective window covered in raindrops

jordan@professorlitwick· Oct 16

But at least I look cute!

A screenshot of Pokémon Legends Z-A, with a nonbinary character posing in front of a painting. The character is wearing red sneakers, grey distressed jeans, a grey and pink cropped sweater with a pink undershirt, and a black beanie, smiling at the camera making a KPop finger heart.

jordan@professorlitwick· Sep 10

a popular meme of Mariah Carey on a blue background where she has been photoshopped to be unnaturally skinny, like im talking torso slimmer than arms

official render of the Pokémon Mega Malamar, a similar skinny legend

jordan@professorlitwick· Aug 16

jordan@professorlitwick· Jul 6

Time to fly to GDQ… boy will my arms be tired 😔

a selfie in an airplane seat. I am wearing a black kn95 mask.

jordan@professorlitwick· Jul 2

a cheeky lil pic in the dressing room for hump day 😌

a mirror selfie with exposed butt. The photo is taken in a store dressing room; the wall behind the mirror is painted with a sun and the wall reflected in the mirror has clouds painted on it.

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 27

A meme of Mario holding a photoshopped crown with an emoji tear. The text on the image says “you dropped this king”

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 23

I basically only wear briefs now 😌

A picture of Jordan in green Calvin Klein briefs with their arm up showing their arm pit.

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 18

TRANS?

a screenshot of donkey kong and Pauline from Donkey Kong Bananza. Donkey Kong has blue and pink fur, and Pauline is standing on his shoulder wearing a green dress and hat.

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 8

High Curator Jogglefrent of the Shimmering Lyceum has been called to testify before the Grand Assembly of Planar Ambassadors.

A screenshot of the Sniffies chat window, with a pair of messages from an anonymous user:
just google search
jogglefrent

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 8

Zimblesnorp arrives to challenge Zamplefrib for his seat on the Council of Seven!

A screenshot of the Sniffies chat window, with a pair of messages from an anonymous user:
just google search
zimblesnorp

jordan@professorlitwick· Jun 7

speak zamplefrib’s name and he shall appear!!!

A screenshot of the Sniffies chat window, with a message from an anonymous user:
Try searching zamplefrib in google

jordan@professorlitwick· May 29

I only managed to do it because of that crater trick that guarantees a lightning strike. If you walk into it from the top, when you dodge the first lightning bolt you jump back into the crater, spawning another one immediately. Once I got the timing down, it took like 45 minutes?

a photo of a steam deck playing Final Fantasy X. Tidus is opening the chest in the Thunder Plains and there is an on screen pop up stating: “Amazing! You’ve dodged 200 lightning bolts in a row!”

jordan@professorlitwick· May 21

Local tattoo shop was doing a partnership with WB to promote Final Destination: Bloodlines and giving out free tattoo. Anyway, ACAB.

A tattoo of the state trooper car getting crushed by a log from Final Destination 2

The scene of the state trooper car getting crushed by a log from Final Destination 2

jordan@professorlitwick· May 5

the deed is done… i have accomplished everything that can be done in blue prince… i have acquired all trophies and cheevos…

A cropped screenshot from Blue Prince, staring:
You have been awarded
THE TROPHY OF TROPHIES
for mastering the Estate and completing the Trophy Case

jordan@professorlitwick· May 4

The gay vs the knife throw target

A sweaty selfie on the back seat of the car

A wooden target with a silver knife sticking out of the bullseye

jordan@professorlitwick· Apr 17

You when I’m done with you 😋

jordan@professorlitwick· Mar 28

I always have to take polish pics within 24 hours of painting them bc they will inevitably look like this after a week. Downside of working with my hands 😥

A selfie showing off the same nail polish as the previous post, but several of the nails have chipped or missing polish.

A similar picture, but showing the other hand.

jordan@professorlitwick· Mar 28

I attempted a fun metal theme with my new Astral Realm set from @feyandfiend.bsky.social, supplemented with some other discontinued colors. I put Star Child over a white polish to see how the flecks with pair with it.