Rohan Salmond

@rjsalmond

I’ll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero. 🎙️ Religion specialist and producer on Soul Search on Radio National. Sydney-based 🏳️‍🌈 he/him My newsletter is called Modern Relics! 🖥️💀🙏 modernrelics.email

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Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· 28d

Sickos meme. Weird man looking through a window with his hands on the glass saying “YES… HA HA HA… YES!!” The word “SICKOS” is written on his shirt

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jun 21

Back to work after two weeks in Japan

A dumb-looking fish in a tank peeks around a sign stuck to the outside that reads “Please do NOT stir me up. When you do I hit my head on the glass and if I keep doing it I will die”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jun 8

Omg look at her 😫🔥

A 70s-era Japanese train. It looks like something out of the Jetsons or maybe Fallout (pre-nuclear bombs). It’s the coolest train that has ever existed

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jun 3

I’m on leave don’t even think about emailing me

Mary crushing the head of the serpent: A foot labelledMy out of office reply” treading on a snake’s head labelled “Your email”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· May 30

Photo from 2019 prompt? Here’s a pic of me toasting in front of a picture of Geraldine Doogue

Pic of me (smiling young man) holding up a wine glass in front of a picture of a grown woman from the 90s

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· May 8

How I feel putting vinegar in my laundry

AI-generated image of two smiling Amish women wearing bonnets washing using traditional tubs and clothes mangled. Everything looks a bit fucked up due to the AI-ness of the whole image. It is captioned “IQ 200”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· May 7

Wait

Fox McCloud (an anthropomorphised fox man from the game Star Fox) with a flat smile

The “polite cat” meme, of a cat with big eyes and a flat smile

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· May 6

Me chasing Matt Thiessen back into the studio

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 26

Classic tweet altered to say “Oh I'm a one trick pony am I? Well, Check this shit out motherfucker [l slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]”. The author of the tweet has been altered to be my D&D character Bonita Murgia

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 19

Retuning to work after four days away to attend a funeral in regional Victoria and a wedding in regional NSW living out of a bag never stopping

Elmo looking tired and disheveled in bed

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 16

Waiting for my parents to land so I’m treating myself to an airport beer

Me, leaned over a pint of frosty beer. The glass says “Stomping Ground Brewing Co”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 16

Kind of wish I was on high speed rail right now has anyone thought of this

Me, half-smiling sat at the window seat of a plane

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 15

Inside my brain the last two days

Cartoon of a crazed madman with a gun hiding behind a wall. In the background two United Nations officials have burst through a door. The madman says “The Pope is WEAK on crime!” Over and over. The UN officials say “Put your hands up! You are a Protestant! Why do you care about this!”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 11

This 20-year-old beanpole wrote a banger and then got straight up murdered by a pair of twins from Brisbane

Two-panel meme from Top gun. First panel, a man points at a car saying “This is brilliant” second panel he turns to another car and says “But I like THIS”. The first car has been superimposed with a screenshot of Sombr’s 12 to 12 music video. The second car has been superimposed with the thumbnail from The Veronica’s Like a Version cover of the same song

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 10

All hail the Fatberg!!!

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Apr 5

Gandalf and a hobbit

Me (a smiling man wearing a leather jacket) standing in front of a statue of Gandalf from Lord of the Rings (an old man with a long grey beard carrying a staff). In the background, my headband (a small, bearded man) is being silly in t background, sticking out his tongue

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 31

Standard Christian to gay pipeli– Still Christian actually but just very, very gay

A much younger me from 2010. I’m a thin, smiling man wearing a check, collared shirt. My hair is neat and parted to one side, flat

Me earlier this year, with a moustache and hair with some volume. I’m holding a big cocktail and wearing a sleeveless shirt that says MEMENTO MORI

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 27

Is this the end

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 21

Saw a man with pink hair and now I want pink hair

Character from Mean Girls: Young woman with a ponytail. Originally said I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops so I bought army pants and flip flops” but that caption has been cut out

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 19

“Here’s my top five items in my every day carry” and one of them is a KNIFE

A small child running with a big grin on his face, holding a knife

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 14

God damn it

Screen shot from the Chappell Roan subreddit. “SGUMG: Wait it's 'fugly' jeans?! I thought it was 'f*ck me' jeans.
The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess. It doesn’t matter though”

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Mar 2

Mardi Gras occurred

A man in a sleeveless shirt that says MEMENTO MORI on it, smiling in front of a rainbow

A gaggle of men in an elevator, smiling together

A dark dance floor in front of a neon lit stage with a sign that says HEAPS GAY on it

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Feb 26

The party I’m going to tomorrow night is themed “Rapture: Apocalypse” and like… ???

A badly-made composite image of a city scape with shadowy figures being drawn up into the sky in a bright light

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Feb 24

Behold! The workstation of the future! #AYNThor

A duel-screen clamshell device clearly designed to resemble a Nintendo DS, with buttons, thumb sticks and a D-pad, sits open on a table top with a word processor running on the main screen. A foldable Bluetooth keyboard sits in front of it, open and wirelessly connected.

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Feb 20

Same energy

Screenshot of a Clickhole parody news story titled “Sorry, Religious Idiots, But If Jesus Is The Only Path To Salvation, Would He Even Forgive A Sinner Like Me?” over an old school picture of Jesus

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Feb 18

Pleased to announce we are never going to die

Two gay men (me and my husband) posing in kaftans with moisturising under-eye patches on our faces and wire halos on our heads

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Feb 3

Tumblr has the juice

Screenshot of a Tumblr post by oppositionresearch.

Original post: “You guys call anything Catholic just because it's christian and vibesy. "oh he's southern and makes me feel bad about myself" girl that's a baptist”

Reblog with a hashtag reading: “#fuck i need to brush up on my breeds” and OP adds “only valid tag on this so far”.

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jan 12

Back at work today

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jan 4

Lost my sunnies at the pub

Rohan Salmond@rjsalmond· Jan 2

Yeah I think it’s modeled after the GitHub interface. There are a few different views including weekly and a monthly calendar view, but this is my fav because you can get a long sense of patterns over six months or so