the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic

@robocryptid

NSFW | she/they, bi/queer | fanfic writer, smut peddler & shitpost oracle | making Lash and Pocket kiss since 2024 🪢💼 | Deadlock + whatever fandoms tickle my fancy

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the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· 25d

I was inspired by looking at that Leon Kennedy mod

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 28

I'm so close to the next installment of the CYOA fic, but until then, #WIPWednesday demands I share this Pocketknife snippet

excerpt from a work in progress Deadlock fanfic:

“You’re trying to distract me,” they protest.

He kisses them again, quicker this time. “Sure am. Is it working?”

“Maybe.” The tip of Shiv’s nose brushes theirs, and a smile fights its way past their defenses.

“Maybe,” Shiv repeats in mock offense. “Guess I gotta work harder then.”

His mouth closes in on theirs again, and this time he’s more determined. It’s not like the soft, sweet kisses before. He goes all in now, and their whole body responds to just the slide of his tongue. They can’t help but press against him, arms winding around his neck. He’ll have to hold them up if he keeps going; their knees are turning to rubber.

They have enough sense not to fight him when he guides them out of the kitchen. They don’t have far to go. They stumble when he pushes, landing on the couch, and he follows, pressing them onto their back and slotting a thigh between their legs.

Pocket put this shirt on less than an hour ago, and now Shiv’s tugging the buttons loose so he can kiss his way down their chest. He skips the bullet scar like he always does, but it’s an otherwise smooth, unbroken line.

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 22

I've written so much smutty, weird, and unhinged fic for these two that I knew I needed some unexpected G-rated sweetness from known asshole Jacob Lash. Thank you so, so much to @questionartbox.bsky.social for bringing this idea to life! #Deadlock

Jacob Lash carefully wrapping Pocket's hands in boxing gauze, too focused on his task to notice Pocket looking at his face and blushing

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 21

sliding in under the wire for #WIPWednesday. you know how the Deadlock ritual requires, like, summoning a whole god? you think that transaction ends when the ritual is over?

Arin drops to their knees and presses their forehead to the edge of the altar. The cool marble underneath soothes the impending headache, until finally it dissipates.

They wait, counting their breaths, until they finally feel it: Her whisper across their mind.

You’ve done so well, She says. You’ve kept up your end of the bargain.

“I did it for you,” they say.

Aren’t you a delight?

Her voice glides over their skin, smooth like the marble altar, crisp like a perfect right angle.

“Is it enough?”

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 14

argh I missed #WIPWednesday. been trying to get into the habit! but here, this Pocketknife snippet is technically my WIP from Wednesday, which counts for something probably.

excerpt from a WIP Deadlock fanfiction:

Five years of transient life, of constantly looking over their shoulder, means even when they’re comparatively safer, they can’t sit still. This is the longest they’ve stayed in one place since they were eighteen. So Shiv’s right to remind them they’re playing catch-up on basic life skills. Still, it’s cold comfort when they’re chewing rubbery eggs with a third left stuck to the pan.

“The eggs are fine,” Shiv says like he can read their mind. His socked foot knocks against theirs under the table, more flirtatious than he usually gets before noon. Typically he needs at least two cups of coffee before multi-syllabic words are an option, much less anything more. They have that in common.

“If you’re sure,” they say after a moment.

“I’m sure.” He takes a big bite, followed by another of the bacon that’s a little too dark at the edges, looking perfectly content.

No amount of mediocre food or good coffee can keep their eyes from wandering back to the window. If they got closer, they’d be able to look down and see street traffic, but from here it’s just the building across the way and the ambient light slowly growing brighter. Not as bright as it should be though — clouds have probably begun to gather.

Shiv’s foot brushes their ankle, pulling their attention back to him. “Your food’s gonna get cold.”

Pocket forces themself to eat, but they can’t taste it anymore. Even the coffee tastes duller.

It takes a few sips before they finally say it out loud: “I had that dream again last night. About the man with the horns.”

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 13

I LOVE SUPPORTING FANDOM CREATORS

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 12

new tierlist: how Deadlock characters react to being asked to care for an infant for one hour

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 12

everything reminds me of my wife

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 8

of all the Mii shenanigans and bizarre hookups I've seen, the one that fills me with THE most joy is Shiv Deadlock dating Darlene Mitchell. I think they really work together, guys.

Darlene Mitchell in tacky drag with hamburgers for boobs and fake bugs in her hair

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 7

but it also means I've moved my ideas list into a spreadsheet again (real ones remember the last one) instead of having them just stuck in a doc. which means I rediscovered this note to self

screenshot of a spreadsheet cell that says "Lash gotta eat that blue ass"

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 6

#WIPWednesday worked on this Deadlock fic today, as well as a couple other Pocket-centric things. but this one's post-Ritual Lash/Pocket.

Jacob Lash is a full head and shoulders taller than them and twice as wide, a solid wall of rippling muscle. He’s rude and brutish and violent, and he scratches a certain itch. He lost to them, for one, although they’ll carry the memory of his fists beating them into the pavement for a very long time. They’ll also always have the knowledge that they beat him in the end — and just as importantly, so will he.

They’re not interested enough in his psychology to understand what he gets out of this. It could be ego or eagerness for even a taste of the life he’ll never have. It could be simple lust, could be that he’s exactly the dumb animal he seems to be. None of it matters, as long as he comes when they call.

Tonight, he’s ushered up to their penthouse by one of several security guards. Wards flash along the walls as the elevator doors close, leaving the two of them alone. In his threadbare blue jeans and tank top, he looks exactly as out of place as he is here. They don’t know why that satisfies them too.

“Take off your clothes,” they say.

“Not even a hello first?”

“Hello. Take off your clothes.”

“The Lash is more than a piece of meat, babe,” he protests, but he’s already pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his ridiculous body.

“Don’t call me that,” they say, but they’re too distracted to make it bite.

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· May 2

I never finished or posted my Wyllstarion stuff, but here's a scene I really loved writing:

“Trust the Blade of Frontiers to believe chastity and virtue are the same thing,” Astarion says.
Wyll laughs, but it bites. “Hardly. When I was a lad, I had my fair share of flirtations. All those things adolescents do that they think adults don’t know about. But with Mizora, my body was not my own. I was subject to her coercion. Transformed into this. Even were I free to have some tryst, she would have been able to watch through this cursed eye. I don’t abstain because I have no desires or judge you for yours. I abstain because I can. Surely you of all people can understand that.”
Astarion’s face is doing something unfamiliar. Considering the range of expression he is usually capable of, it’s alarming until Wyll puzzles out what he’s seeing: shame. “I… had not considered it from that angle,” Astarion admits.
“And why should you? If you showed more than a thimbleful of empathy, I’d suspect you were a doppelganger.”
It’s more cutting than he likes to be, and the cold lead in his belly grows heavier when Astarion uncharacteristically cedes ground. “I suppose I deserve that.” He stares into the fire a moment, eyes shining like rubies. “I wish it were only a thimbleful.”
“Is it truly so hard for you to care about others?”
Astarion pauses. For someone so typically keen to fill the silence, it’s a strange moment. Wyll waits, expecting that any moment now, Astarion will break it with a joke or snide remark. Instead he says, “When Cazador’s torture first began, I prayed to every god I could think of. When that didn’t work, I escaped into flights of fancy. Childish ideas where some hero came to save me, a fairytale prince or a beautiful sorceress. That fantasy disappeared around the fourth time Cazador peeled my skin off for fun. So sometimes I look at you and I wonder: where were you?”

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 30

you asked and my brain totally emptied of all possible ideas, lol. but I guess if you accept fic scenes as prompts (not like. direct 1:1 but maybe inspires something?), these are pretty cute! (no pressure though)

“Good,” Lash says. “Now hit me.” Their punch smacks into the padded palm of Lash’s glove. “Sucked less than the last one, but you still need to loosen up your shoulders. Elbows in.”

They adjust, and they try again. Between their own problems, whatever business Abrams may have embroiled them in, and the upcoming Maelstrom, it seems inevitable that they’ll have to defend themself once more. They knew some things coming in, but if Lash is an expert in anything, it’s this. They’d be a fool not to accept his help.

“Again,” he commands. They keep at it until they’ve broken a sweat and their hands begin to ache from the repeated strikes. He offered them gloves, but nobody trying to hurt them in real life is going to wait politely while they put their gloves on. They compromised by letting him wrap their hands, at least.

As good as they feel about the progress they’re making, Lash easily reminds them of the work they still have to do. On their last punch, he sidesteps, grabs their forearm, and pulls them down for a quick kiss. It’s insultingly easy.

They kiss him in front of everyone, hands cupping either side of his face like he’d pull away if they let him go. It’s not a harsh kiss or even particularly passionate, but it feels… heavy, like everything else suddenly does. When they’re done, Arin is slow to pull away.

“Take me home?” they ask, and they’re rewarded with a smile that is shockingly sweet and almost shy, which doesn’t suit Lash in the slightest. They pretend not to notice when he flips off the whole room behind their back.

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 28

can't tell if this is meant to be an insult or a compliment, but either way, thank you for the much needed laugh, anon

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 26

today, 8 days into their marriage, they had a baby. her name is Jacket and they fed her a lot of human blood so she'd grow up big and strong.

Tomodachi Lash holding a baby and announcing "It's a girl!"

Lash feeds their baby a bowl of human blood while Pocket takes pictures

Pocket and Lash stand to either side of their daughter looking at a wall of photos that captures all their family adventures

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 26

can't believe I haven't shared more of these here. Lash and Pocket got married after 3 days. so far no signs of potential divorce.

Tomodachi Life screenshot showing Deadlock's Lash and Pocket getting married. Wraith sings and officiates the wedding. Other attendees include: Keefe Chambers (Righteous Gemstones), Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium), Mirage (Deadlock), Louis de Pointe du Lac (Interview with the Vampire), and Shauna Sadecki (Yellowjackets)

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 23

@chilliebean.bsky.social I am thinking of you on this fine Thursday

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 23

also, finally!!! Frankie has a face, and it's SO CUTE

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 23

I don't really go here anymore, but even 8 years later, seeing a panel where Cassidy finally articulates that no, actually, Reyes didn't save him, he *used* him feels sooooo vindicating. "father/son dynamic," my ass. can't believe I still love this stupid cowboy.

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 21

Deadlock is making me write things I never thought I'd write, like my very first X Reader fic! The reader is definitely a normal human woman, that's for sure! "No Contest" - Explicit, Lash/Reader, Billy/Reader archiveofourown.org/works/83546311

Fic: "No Contest" by robocryptid
Tags: Reader is a Regular Human Woman For Sure, Vaginal Sex
Summary: "You, a real biological woman, have a boring day scrounging for cigarettes and getting sloppy with your ex, but it leads to an unforgettable night at the Bear Pit."

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 18

I love this game

Tomodachi Life screenshot of Pocket (Deadlock) saying, “Lash sounded really interested in going to pound town when we talked.”

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 13

handshake meme. 13 of these are mine:

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Apr 13

sent this to a friend earlier. it was really jarring. 😭

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 29

bonus!

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 29

tbf this is prob a both/and situation where I think a lot of the lines about Shiv are just older than Mirage is, bc he’s def still canon hot

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 29

I wrote a scene months ago that’s still stuck in WIP stage, but when it came time to c-mm some art, I knew I needed to see it. I’m so happy with how it came out!

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 25

Millennial cringe spans far beyond feminist circles, so you can be a hater about what used to pass for acceptable public writing and be correct, and obviously the mainstream feminism of the past 10-15 years is flawed in its emphasis on the individual, but don't think I missed this transphobic tidbit

Excerpt from The Atlantic, "The Death of Millennial Feminism":

My word on my own life should be sufficient—there it is. This, to put it bluntly, is not how medical diagnoses work, or I would have had a brain tumor 15 times so far. But it is the Millennial mantra—I am the captain of my ship, the author of my life, the protagonist of reality. Incidentally, this is the same logic that uncritically affirms young children’s assertions that they are the opposite sex.

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 21

this might be one of the most heinous sentences I’ve ever written, but that’s how I can confirm it came from a real human brain and is not gen//A/I slop ❤️

screenshot from a Deadlock fanfic that says “Come on, baby. You wanna bash the Lash’s gash, you better work for it.”

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 20

Post the: Last movie you saw 🎬 Last game you played 🎮 Last show you watched 🖥 Last song you listened to 🎶

the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic@robocryptid· Mar 18

canon Leapfrog dynamic probably