I’m a ball of anticipatory anxiety this morning, and time is moving at a glacial pace

There’s nothing I love more than waking up to a chirping smoke detector on Sunday morning ☺️

Not to be a freak on main or anything, but I smell so nice right now it almost feels like a crime to shower

I shouldn’t have to go back to work. I should be allowed to spend my afternoon sticking silicone up my ass and taking a nap.

> sees water bottle on the counter near the sink > “Oh, she must want me to wash that.” > realizes dishwasher is nearly full > puts water bottle in the dishwasher and starts cycle > *confused raccoon noises*

In today’s episode, Red learns getting your finger caught in a spring-loaded coffee tamper Does Not Feel Good™

“We have Steam Machine at home” but it’s a 2019-era Ryzen PC I dug out of the closet and installed Bazzite on

For some reason the Outlook app thinks it’s Thursday and keeps giving me the 15-minute notifications for my Thursday meetings. It’s as unsettling as you’d expect.

What if 🍔?

All it takes is one interaction with a normie gay to remind me why I’ve exclusively had sex with furries for years

The name of the game today is resting and staying out of the heat, because I’m pretty sure that’s what fucked me up so badly yesterday

I got you a treat for #fcf, pup, but you’ll have to unwrap it first #nsfw #nsfwirl

I love it when I like art from a popular artist who doesn’t follow me back and then they come to my media tab and like my nudes. This is a uniquely furry experience.

> finds some diet, supplement, routine, and hygiene changes that significantly improve my digestion > wonders if I can maybe think about bottoming again > buys a douche and a trainer toy > they arrive > stomach says no >:c

🦦: “A few years ago I had a depressive episode and watched all of The X Files in about two months.” 🦝: “Was that a depressive episode?” 🦦: “Yes. You don’t watch all 11 seasons of The X Files in two months and not be having a depressive episode.”

Hot afternoons call for casual attire #pupplay #nsfw #nsfwirl #irlnudes

They’re called street tacos because you have to roll me down the street after I eat way too many of them

I’m not usually one to complain about the heat, but I could go for wallowing in a bucket of ice today.

Re-rack your weights before I shove one up your ass