"How do I sign up to be a Volturi? Am I too fat?" -Twilight: Eclipsementary

"We should say that they do have this Nazi monkey give a sig heil salute, and it is chilling and adorable at the same time." "It’s hilarious because one of the Germans gives the salute back TO the monkey!" (Eric) -Raiders of the Lost Ark

"I’m available for Q-Bert. I can do the mo-cap, as well; I’m similarly-shaped." -Raiders of the Lost Ark

"Sarah Conner is going out on the town with her roommate, and they’re getting dressed up. It’s 1984, and when they’re done getting dressed, they look like they’re about to broker a peace treaty between the Klingons and the Romulans." -The Terminator

(Steve seeing Arnold for the first time) "WHAT?! That’s a man?!" "That’s Austrian oak." (Eric) -Commandomentary

"I learned most of my Genghis Khan facts from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and he seems like a partying, fun-loving dude." -The Conqueror

"Dracula looks like one of the Spin Doctors for half the movie with these purple sunglasses." -Bram Stoker's Dracula

"Indy should have pulled out his gun and shot Mutt and shrugged - that’s the Indy I know." (Eric) "He buries him. ‘You lost today, kid - doesn’t mean you have to like it.’" -Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

"I love this: ‘I hate manure.’ Of course you do! It’s horse shit in your mouth, dude! Guess what? No one likes that!" -Back to the Future

"It’s a Clark Kent thing - he takes the glasses off and he turns INTO Huey Lewis." "Like if there’s an emergency that needs rocking out?" (Eric) "If there’s light to fun music to be played." -Back to the Future

"Michael Caine stars in ‘Sitting Down: The Motion Picture.’ He barely stands this entire movie." -The Last Witch Hunter

"There’s no way Kevin Pollak has ever won a basketball game." (Andrew) "Dude, he is dishing to Denzel Washington like fucking John Stockton! The outlet passes!" -Ricochet

"Egon, get the fuck out of here, running gynecological tests. You’re a Ghostbuster! Excuse me." "And a slime rapist!" (Chris) -Ghostbusters II

"Lea Thompson looks like the Cowardly Lion in this, like when he gets done up at the end of Wizard of Oz." -Jaws 3D

"This white asshole is walking around with this headband, and Miyagi needs to be like, ‘It’s fun around my house, but you will be killed in the street for wearing that.’" -The Karate Kid Part II

"With the helmets, it’s not like a karate system with the colors, but is it more like they’re asking you what you want? Is there a wheel? Do they come in like, ‘Oh, you’re definitely a teal!’" -The Mandalorian Half-Hour: Chapter 17

"I’m on eBay looking at a $1700 cabinet of this game, and I’m like, ‘I don’t know - what if I got divorced?’" -Animation Damnation: Double Dragon

"I think with those weird doorknobs that they have in England, anyone can come in your house. Doorknobs are all out of sorts: they're in the center of the door, it's a latch sometimes. They are anti-doorknobs in that country and it drives me fucking crazy!" -Yesterday

"Like, he’s never masturbated, he’s never had a wet dream or anything…" (Eric) "And Jenny’s like, ‘Oh no, did I just commit a crime?’" -Forrest Gump

"Adjusted for inflation, this movie made more than Black Panther." (Chris) "‘Sorry I ruined your Black Panther party.’" -Forrest Gump

"To lighten the blow of seeing this imagery, my uncle just yelled out, ‘CRISPY CRITTERS!’ And I cannot ever watch this scene without hearing him saying that." (Andrew) "*I* can’t watch this movie without hearing him say that!" -Star Wars

"As we know, in Return of the Jedi, there is just an enormous living pit that takes thousands of years to digest people - how are you not talking about that ALL the time?!" -Star Wars

"I love all of the times that a lightsaber turns into an aluminum pole." -On the joys of the Despecialized Edition; Star Wars

"You think MRAs had a lot of problems with this movie when it came out? Like, ‘Oh, man, where did this woman learn how to fight? How did she learn how to do push-ups?’" "MRAs were idolizing the dude who was licking her face." (Eric) -Terminator 2

"As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself siding with his emotionally abusive father on The Wonder Years a little bit." -The Wizard

"A woman has died in this apartment, right? Like 100%? Oh my God, what if they walled her up, then painted a mural of themselves dancing over her grave?" -Three Men and a Baby

"There’s Secret Bear, that only talks in whispers." (Andrew) "What the fuck is that bear’s problem?! He’s like the Minister of Information, I guess. Not unlike the devil, Secret Bear knows all of your desires." -Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation

"And Pettyfer’s #2, Chet Hanks over here, wearing the world’s worst hat." -In Time

"He gets a haircut at some point. He kind of looks like Guy Fieri with a tapeworm." -Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

"What the fuck ever happened to that statue of RoboCop?" (Andrew) <someone in crowd yells "It’s still being built!"> "That sounds like the mafia took your money." -RoboCop 3 (live)