five dollar catboys

@salmonking

@salmonking on Tumblr. white/mixed (NB). 30 or 40 years old 🔞. I only care about gay little elves. i:@rookiebe b:@neunian

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Carrd Bluesky

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five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 23

Dale Gribble asking if you're attempting to know him

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Apr 25

PLEASE get a soogy comm, possibly the best 50 dollars I've ever spent in my life

Cyr in his Inquisitor outfit crying in a comically sad way while clutching a wind up halone

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Apr 20

I want to toss my Wasp chanter/mortician at him so so much but the cards haven't yet aligned... Levitating toward your location very slowly

Guy levitating at another guy in a hallway and the guy being levitated at is running away at speed aaah scary and off putting vibe

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Mar 20

And it's correct too. Pay more artists!

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Feb 12

You got it boss 🫡

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jan 29

passing this handout out to the class

Tumblr posts that say: if you're an adult man with natural blond hair that's a sign from nature to show that there's something deeply evil going on with you like the brightly colored frogs / if I was attracted to a blond man I'd keep that to myself / and just when you think you've hit rock bottom you want to fuck a blond guy

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Sep 12

HERE IT IS... Emma (and us 💔) whilst tanking

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jul 6

"what in the hell is this" you're asking. And you're right to ask, bc what it is is a crime against good taste. Really helps one appreciate how bad things were in the old country.

A pot full of holubky: rolls of overcooked flatulent cabbage and blanched ground meat stewed in a thin tomato sauce that makes every individual roll weep a gory trail.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 30

With a Keeper switch and significant 'enhancements' to basically his whole face and eyes... He kind of comes close to what he used to look like. But I'll never quite get used to the shift from how he used to be. and without the changes he'd be unrecognizable lol.

A catboy with brown skin and white-striped black hair stands in one of the Endwalker dungeons. He's looking to the left. His eyes are a pale, luminous blue much like the aetheric crystals behind him, and he has cute little fangs.

Same catboy looking up a little innocently/in surprise on a blue catwalk.

Same catboy looking over his shoulder and fiercely shouting a command. He is so handsome here it's unfair

Similar looking catboy but his skin tone is slightly different. His mouth and nose are thicker, and he has developed a slight chin scruff. His eyes still shine, but the luminosity is a bit different. Only with certain enhancements have his eyebrows survived to the present day.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 28

With apologies to OP.

A modified Bluesky post from "Catboy of Light!" reading "when I went to Coerthas everyone was like "oh you're from Ul'dah, so scary" but literally every true crime podcast is about some repressed weirdo from Coerthas believing their kid is a dragon"

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 23

I got the most AMAZING commission back today of my pirate bunboy, Remi, by @carmenfflv.bsky.social -- absolute dream come true! PLEASE check out her art, it's so so good and so worth it!!

A viera (bunny boy) with dark skin and long, wavy white hair leans against a Dhelmise (pokemon), which is inclining slightly toward him. The viera is dressed in a frilly piratical shirt and tight-fitting dark trousers, and is looking impassively at the camera with arms folded. His left eye has a scar across it. The Dhelmise is easily his entire height, and looks like an anchor with seaweed hanging off of it and a ship's wheel behind its eyes. The left eye is shattered.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 21

Woe! Transmasc bunboy pirate alt be upon ye... his name is Remi :) I'm so not looking forward to the heat wave but thanks for making it a little more bearable!

A Rava viera with dark gray skin and stark white hair, smartly dressed in a little cravat with a collar, reacts with mild surprise to something just off camera

The same guy but in a blue piratical sort of outfit and he's looking determined and focused.

A fancy gpose of the same guy with the first outfit on again. The shaders bring out his pale blue eyes which match the blue gem in his moon earring. More visible here is a scar down the length of his face which this picture throws into sharp relief, and a narrow gold band patterned like a stalk of wheat across his forehead.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Jun 2

Me multiple times this week... I rlly hope he turns up soon this sounds so hard to go through and also like have life just continue on ughhh 🫂

Old man who claims to be thinking about thos Beans in his iconic Facebook post

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 29

went on a boat with my wildling guy today... elementals really DO love him god damn

wayward hooking a spectral bass on his first cast at like level 43 or something

doing it again in the last zone of the hafgufa/placodus route. also both times were his first time catching that spectral species I forgot to say that.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 24

Annotated what I saw on a quick glance.. I was like damn where do I get a bag I could curl up in

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 18

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 17

Please look at my newest child... her name is Onion

A Lala with pale skin and yellow undertones, dramatically lit in front of a struggling Godsbow. Her hair is pale white with green highlights on the tips, her eyes are a shining green, and she has little green onion slices drawn on over her pink cheeks. She is simply clad in yellow-brown conjurers' clothes. Her small expression is very serious.

The same maiden regards her hand with a surprised expression in front of a tree

She looks displeased in this one and it's very cute and funnie

She is casting a spell, her large eyes are closed and she is surrounded by pink as she lifts a hand to her face and bows her head

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 16

Pain measurement scale with "hurts whole lot" circled

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 15

They got all of ours -- hope the grifters like catboys in heat I guess

Screencap of an AI scrape search showing the entirety of the post author's work was ingested by AI

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 13

We're gonna need some parameters around "emotionally mature" skdjskd. But hey, 4-way bingo ain't bad!

Most of the spaces on this bingo card are occupied by Kal's big silly head.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 10

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 8

IM DOING MY PART.... (as is Val who posed half of these)

Cyr and Phio with the caption "the point of life is nasty gay sex." Phio looks merry about this. Cyr looks as though he has dawning questions that are not being resolved

Kal and Emmanellain making a heart with their hands in Dragonhead as Honoroit rubs his eyes behind them wearily

Kal smooching on Jeryk while Val looks on approvingly

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 5

Behold... his namesake (my sweetest guy Tobby, who passed away two years ago)

A black and gray tabby with a reddish tint to his fur. His large green eyes look upwards toward the viewer.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 4

THE POLICE ALMOST SHUT US DOWN.... BUT WE STAY STRONG

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 4

Public enemy number one at it again

Nenu menaces an innocent knightly lady who just wanted to have a normal one

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 4

Our merrie band grows! Notwithstanding some tense moments when one of us (cough) turns out to be a little too familiar with the Hearers for comfort....

A group of ne'er do wells assaulting the walls of Quarrymill with messages of questionable taste.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· May 3

Nice wall you've got here, Quarrymill. Be a right shame if something was to happen to it.

The Redbelly poachers surround the innocent wall of Quarrymill, which has done nothing wrong except prop up the Gridanian heterodoxy.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Apr 22

EVERYONE SHOULD DRAW DICKS ACTUALLY.... so come do that with the Redbellies on May 3rd!! Let's show Hearer Charline who's boss around here Where: Crystal, Mateus, Quarrymill, X24.4 Y21.0 When: May 3rd, 7PM EST til whenever our arms get tired

A Duskwight woman in a Redbelly Wasp bandit outfit stands in front of their precious wall and holds up a finger excitedly to point to her current location (X24.4 Y21.0 outside of Quarrymill in the South Shroud). A scroll next to her invites you to come and vandalize Quarrymill's walls again on May 3rd, 7 PM EST.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Apr 14

God I need more pics but . You get it

The D&D alignment chart is shown. Kal, Cyr, and M'zhet are all clustered in the neutral good zone, with M'zhet closest to chaotic good. Remi is squarely in Lawful Neutral. Nenu, who is represented by a smudge of green with the word Nenu on it, is somewhere between Chaotic Neutral and Chaotic Evil.

five dollar catboys@salmonking· Apr 13

The #soltavap trance overtook me again... i lov this feferi