What are you doing talking to the trees weirdo?! My PE teacher said I should be #ashamed of myself for not taking part in the race. So I came to ask the pines how they deal with the weight of not being able to move quickly. And I suppose they answered back? They told me to look up. #vss365

I was gone a week and left simple instructions I watered all the plants exactly as you said. I even sang that stupid bedtime song. You didn't think it was daft when I sang it to you in the crib. Tell me, Mr Watering Can half empty, why the Ivy #sprouted a wall if it isn't dry? Tree? Idiot! #vss365

Dave, we're going to have to let you go. You can't exterminate me, I have rights. You haven't #shifted a single unit since you started. The customers are put off by your edginess. This is an outrage. I will call upon the darkness to eliminate you. That's the stuff I'm talking about mate. #vss365

With the right #tailwind we could get this baby going faster than my age. Ahem, is there a hurricane predicted? Just drive Jeeves. I don't pay you to crack jokes. #vss365

I told you to source a getaway car. You had one job. I don't get why you're so mad, it's literally a speed record holding car. It's not exactly inconspicuous is it, donut! Plus what happens when we need to #turn a corner? Just put your foot on the gas, at that speed there are no obstacles. #vss365

They said free drinks we broke into a #sprint turns out it was a joke by some bloke who built a racing car - everyone grumbled as they filtered away - its not the spirit of the day Bolster laughed, pass me a coaster we'll drink champagne from the chassis #vss365

A single spot on the rail track glistens to match the silver sheen of the maiden's dress. The family rest, relaxed amongst their servants. The children demand turns at piggybacks. Dad needs a rest, his face as pink as the #rose in the path hedge. Mum throws her head back and laughs. #vss365

How can you recognise a #villain in a story? If it is written well, you never will. How can you recognise a villain in real life? Look in the mirror, they are standing right in front of you. #vss365

Clouds peal to reveal heavy bellies, thunderous jaws, fingernails of rain conduct lightning concertos, tarmac groans, #grain unveils a tentative foot unencumbered by boots, newborn shoots search soil's residue birthright loot, become roots one tiny toe wriggle at a time. #vss365

Well, I find myself in another jail cell. When will they learn that confinement leads to inspiration? As they #pull the door shut, the ghosts of the meanest streets compete for space on my blank sheet. My pencil etching a way through darkness into maginary light for the long night. #vss365

We went out on the hoof, a spur of the moment decision to venture off the beaten path. Took the train to the seaside and paddled our feet by the shore. But we were left firmly in the #lurch when we realised we'd missed the last carriage and had to do the walk of shame home the next morning. #vss365

The pixies traipsed along the edge of the garden. I'm starving but my pockets are empty. There must be something we can eat. If we wait by the bins, we'll get scraps. Yummy, I love scraps, I hope it's a #batch of meringues. Ew this flower stinks. No, I do not, that's you, you putrid fool. #vss365

Mum, I was listening to the trees chatting. They said, the same path, even seconds apart, or a different shutter speed would be completely different. It made me question the #wondrous nature of reality. Oh you're so funny Timmy, last week the bushes were trying to sell you dream diaries #vss365

Ripples lapping along the shore, feeling free in the new landscape beneath. A bird finding the right twig to complete their nest. A petal unfolding tentatively, exposing their hidden beauty. A gentle breeze on a scorching day as you find a spot in the shade. Small #signals of perfection. #vss365

A walk in the woods is meant to nourish the soul, yet the sense of a presence #lingered. Was it her imagination, or real danger? Would man or bear meet their end on this path? It was the birdsong that alerted her, the eye in the bark was no surprise. Neither was the disguised crocodile. #vss365

As I watch a seagull from his higher vantage point, I wonder what is the view from there? Do the clouds look more #luminous as light filters through blue? Do the grey shadows feel more threatening if their chill is closer to wing tips? No, love, it's chips he worships. #vss365

Beware the #fury of a fallen tree. Who cut me down in all my glory? Now I'm on the grass, I guess I gotta kick your ass, so I can go back to admiring the scenery. I'll give you a headstart, one, two. Oops, I'm not so good at counting. #vss365

Blessed and #bountiful were the trees' unbooted roots when on a morning stretch he felt the tingle of thready toes. Sensing a soul connection he grew toward the first light to penetrate his bark armour. His branches create a protective arm around her and waits for their canopies to connect. #vss365

It was a #miniscule detail most wouldn't have noticed, but she'd lived with a lifelong wheeze and recognised a creature holding its breath. The tree denied knowledge of its chameleon roots caught mid transformation. Although she promised not to tell anyone, she wrote it in her diary. #vss365

Between storms, she ventured to the garden to breathe new air into her lungs. The ground covered in decaying brown leaves, mud squelching, she almost slipped several times. A white carpet mimicked the childhood joy of snow. Amongst them stood one who'd peeled #cusps to expose her guts. #vss365

In the winter, the cloak of night closes in earlier and earlier, embracing the city, nudging it to sleep. In the #vespertine space, life awakens - bats yawn their wings into the sky, owls hoot swivel eyed gossip and the purple cabbage releases the silver thread of the moon. #vss365

The chick doesn't know what's happening, but has a sense of impending doom. It hears a loud boom and tucks its head into its soft furry body. Suddenly, there's a swoosh of cool air against warmth and it's falling out of the only world it ever knew. Not the end #times, the beginning. #vss365

How does a squirrel #measure his nuts? Excuse me? Not that you dirty sod - his supply for the winter? How does he know when he has enough stashed? Oh, lol. I guess he asks the wind how angry they've been this season. Oh right, yeah. I hope no one asks me that question. #vss365

I went for a walk to clear my head, enjoyed stepping on crisp autumn leaves. As I turned into the woods, a tree tutted. "You only come here when you're thinking, all that stuck energy for us to clean up like trash." I laughed, never expected a #clash, I promised to take my mind trash home. #vss365

My path was blocked by the ancient ones. Their leader stepped forward, "To pass, you must state what lies ahead." But it wasn't a #conundrum for me, I'd never been there before, but I certainly knew there was only one species that told lies wherever they went. #vss365

"Little car, lower your weapon." She thought she could blend in, but Esther was on to her. She held up her hands. "Put the pen down and step back from the notebook." For once she did as she was told as she wracked her brain for an excuse that would stand up to wildflower #scrutiny. #vss365

It was the fifth time this month Sam had been in the #stocks. They thought they were teaching her a lesson, but secretly she loved the attention. Plus it was a cheap way to get enough vitamins. As the warden released her she licked the trail of red seeds from her lips. "Same time next week?" #vss365

Imagine you're darkness minding your own business. The best at creating shadows - heck, you're a champion. You spot a light up ahead, know what you need to do. Consume it before it consumes you. In the moment of #synthesis, when a photon rubs against the quark in you, you become light too. #vss365

"Is that your wife pole dancing on the stage?" Dave sips his beer, "Yeh mate." "Why don't you #rein her in?" Dave spits warm ale all over Al's shirt, "She's not a horse - you ever been kicked by one? She's stronger. It's sexy to watch her and know she loves me." "Yeh, that must be nice." #vss365