I am a full-time professional investigator. Well at least full-time until I get laid off next year. My fall back? If I play my cards right, I might get my foot in the door doing nature photography, making next to nothing dollars. This judgmental looking little guy was stalking some squirrels.

Haaaalp! Difference between Sky Blue and Pale Blue…anyone?

@nytimes.com I'm willing to do some fresh headlines for you, free of charge. Call me.

I feel like if this investigation career that I have built ends next week or at least in June when the next budget is finalized. I will still have a future in making Ramen and tacos. Although I will only be able to serve four people at night, because sweet baby jeezus, this is a lot of work.

I can’t say Julio Torres is for everyone but I CAN say Julio Torres is for me. Watch “Color Theories” on HBO as soon as you can! 🥰

With World War III gearing up and government on Citizen shenanigans going on in many parts of my country. I decided I needed to de-stress and disconnect for a bit. I bring to you, the fattest, pork #gyoza in town. And by town, I mean California. Now back to the shit show.

I’ll just leave this here.

I actually looked at his Instagram page and it seems pretty wholesome.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I bring to you, without a doubt, the absolute, straightest man in the world.

#SOTU Nothing like re-traumatizing the mother of a murder victim by going into detail on how her daughter suffered on national television once again. Crap. I should have just gone to bed.

#SOTU This moron always looks like he’s taking a shit, like really working on one and just trying his damnedest to get it out of his body.

#SOTU I honestly can’t tell if there’s a filter on CNN but his hair looks almost blurry.

I’ve never donated to the man, but for some reason, I still received an advance copy of his book 🤷🏾‍♂️

In a world that is slowly turning to shit. I try to find joy where I can. I recently discovered this microwave omelet recipe from @chefjoseandres.bsky.social that he calls “the best omelet recipe in the history of mankind”. I made it. Look. At. This. Fucking. Omelet.

WTF did I do to deserve these ads on my #Reddit timeline? Teen border patrol agents are a thing? These are the chodes that are applying for the job I guess 😑 FML.

@atrupar.com I fixed it to more accurately represent what he’s trying to say.

Also not a paid ad, I’m just a happy customer. If you are a serious investigator or journalist I think you should always be sharpening your skills with additional training. Adding to your toolbox and developing a good investigator mindset goes a long way towards tackling the hard stuff we run into.

That being said, @mantzarlis.com and @craigsilverman.bsky.social have a great thing going at @indicator.media. If you haven’t joined, you should consider it. It’s not free but it’s super affordable and the information they have shared in past trainings has been invaluable in my day to day.

I love that CA schools are teaching children all about #MartinLutherKing. My son came home and told me everything he knew about him and then showed me his drawing he made with his class. I know it wasn’t the intent and I might go to hell, but I can’t stop seeing a little tiny black Hitler.

I know the Harbaugh families traveled to the White House at Trump’s request, but I really hope they aren’t MAGATS. 🥸

No People Magazine, I do NOT like! I do not like at all!!

I’ve worked on thousands of criminal cases in my lifetime and I’ve worked on lots of shooting cases. Never seen anything like this. Leaving evidence in in a garbage bin from crime scene does not seem like best practices. It’s not a “who done it?” case, but this still feels sloppy. #DCshooting

I did not know that they sold loose button containers in bulk. Kinda cool.

My favorite part of the video that SHOULD hit home for most people, even if you are discounting the security concerns #PublicDefenders

There, I fixed Johnson’s quote.

I logged back into my dormant Twitter account just to like this video 🤣 We have a lot of ups and downs but one thing remains true, I ❤️ California.

One of the benefits of being a subscriber to indicator.media is the excellent training sessions offered by @craigsilverman.bsky.social. They also have a great growing collection of investigator guides that Craig also seems to update with new information as it is developed. Good bang for your buck!

I am definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed, but my IQ dropped immediately after listening to the nonsense coming out of Kevin O’Leary’s face on @cnn.com. I’m sure we’ll have Russia shaking in their boots, knowing we might have robots that will come into their towns. 🤣

Bes alt text ever:

#TotallyNormalBehavior