SAL

@sarahannelloyd

💕writer/editor for hire 💕 PNCA MFA ‘28 💕free abortion on demand without apology💕she/her 💖💜💙

608 Following1,111 Followers1,075 Posts

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SAL@sarahannelloyd· 25d

(Available at @scarecrowvideo.bsky.social!)

A tweet from @sarahannelloyd: "LOOK AT HIM HOLDING HIS CLIPBOARD IN HIS GORILLA HANDS"

Image: Tim Eyman wearing an I-900 shirt and a gorilla costume, minus the head, holding a clipboard.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 25d

god this thing was a masterpiece

Several tweets from @sarahannelloyd from May 24, 2020

ok they're really focusing on modie a lot because he's asking SUCH UNFAIR QUESTIONS like uh why are you messing around with the king county council when you live in snohomish also tim eyman pushed him in an elevator and laughed it off

take a shot every time he says "cadillac council" and you'll be dead in two minutes

i ooooh now he's confirming a statement, treacherous

this is a video clip turned dramatic still and what follows is modie literally just following tim eyman into a public space and asking normal questions [black and white still of a white man in a leather jacket and glasses with NEIL MUDIE: PI REPORTER over it]

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 25d

The thing I was looking for was my livetweet of watching the Perils of Tim Eyman (Erotolepsy is @ajtigner.bsky.social)

A screenshot of two tweets from @sarahannelloyd. the top one is Tim Eyman bending over to pick up a box with someone in the background holding a sign that says "You did it!"

The second one says, ""I like how a lot of this is like, Tim Eyman PICKED UP A PAPER BOX and TOOK IT TO HIS CAR!" -@Erotolepsy, who notes that his job requires him to pick up multiple paper boxes a day"

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 25d

Haven't updated this thread in a while but now I'm looking for a specific thing in my lil archive so here are some more

SAL @sarahannelloyd Apr 24, 2020
As someone who writes about homes a lot and has made some real typo doozies, I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands every time I type "big deck."

SAL @sarahannelloyd Apr 24, 2020
I've said it before, I'll say it again: If I were a real estate agent the first thing I would invest in would be just a boatload of red appliance knobs.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 25d

A tweet from Rep Marie Glusenkamp Perez, quote-tweeting @StatisticUrban, who said: "I don't know if it's slopulism, but we should ban those ultra-bright headlights that literally blind you when you're driving. Enough!"

Rep Gluesenkamp Perez says:

"Yeah, someone should do something," and has a screensot to a bill "to direct the Secretary of Transportation to revise the Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standards to establish a maximum allowable brightness standard for low beam headlamps"

the worst person you know made a great point meme guy

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 26d

Mid-2000s rite of passage, about to go do free labor for Amanda Palmer

A young white woman wearing a white lace skirt, black and white striped stockings, black lace-up boots, fairy wings, a black top, and a brimmed black cap

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 26d

When I was 18 I was Fairies Wear Boots by Black Sabbath for Halloween (not pictured: a pack of those little Listerine strips in my pocket). I went to a party at a punk house and my cross disappeared for like 30 minutes and came back upside down. What a beautiful night.

A young white girl with shoulder-length hair wearing round sunglasses, fairy wings, a pink dress, an oversized silver cross necklace, and black lace-up boots

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 27d

Perfect!! *chef kiss*

The Needling headline: Seattle Mourns Starbucks as Old Locations Fill with Infinitely Better Coffee and Pastries

SAL@sarahannelloyd· 27d

Yessss we got a penis tomato, how auspicious!

A cluster of not yet ripe green tomatoes. One of them has a phallic extrusion.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 11

The @garbageday.email analysis was much, much better. www.garbageday.email/p/the-curdli...

The left's burning desire for a muscleman of their own isn't just a masculinity problem. Yes, the curdling of the American man is clearly affecting all men, regardless of whether they're watching Joe Rogan or Hasan Piker. But the desperation to defend Platner also comes from a bizarre contradiction that has emerged on the left since Trump entered office. There is a deeply-rooted sneering, condescending inability to imagine that working people - and working class men, who always are assumed to be white in these instances
- could ever vote for anyone other than a slovenly, alcoholic townie oaf. And there is a borderline pathological insistence that policies like free healthcare, antitrust regulation, student debt relief, and a rebuke of Israel's genocide in Palestine, if shouted by a white guy in his pickup truck, could somehow, magically fix the social and racial and religious divides that have opened up into yawning chasms during the Trump era. The same leftists cheering for the DSA upset in New York last month
- which was led almost entirely by women of color
- are completely unable to imagine that anything like that could work in the small town America populated by noble savages they imagine in their heads. Platner, for all his unending messiness, was the easy way out. The choice that meant your favorite podcaster could be anti-Trump, but didn't have to sound "woke," or feminine, or whatever.

And I'll admit that I was excited by Platner when I first noticed his campaign last year. I'm not from Maine, but I'm a New Englander and he reminded me of guys I grew up with. I felt the same twinge of hope that I assume many in Maine felt, seeing a man like him, with a history like his, speaking about politics the way he has. It was a hope that the guys I went to high school with or the men in my family or in my home town might suddenly wake up and realize the Republicans were screwing them over.
That there might finally be a way to save all the lost, angry, awful men I know. And I still have that hope, but Platner - and any other leftist strongman that comes along - is the shortcut. And the current implosion of his campaign is exactly what happens when you take shortcuts.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 11

Some context for that. Sure, we’re not clairvoyant, but surely we don’t need to give everyone with that many flags a shot at *checks notes* the United States Senate????

I stand by my previous defense of Platner.
Offensive tattoos and sexting-out-of-wedlock struck me as the most Marine shit ever. I literally know Marines who've done both but later grew up and became decent guys. (Hi if you're reading this!) | still believe in my bones that people like that deserve to have a shot at public office and that our country would be better for it. But the Marines I'm describing were never accused of more serious things like sexual assault.
People were right to give him a chance before; and they're right to drop him now.
"But there were so many red flags," the argument goes, pointing to the sexting, tattoo, and Reddit posts. Think about that argument for a moment: it means that people should be disqualified from public office for things there isn't evidence they actually did, just "red flags" from which they can supposedly be divined. Ruling out anyone with Reddit post-level flaws bars millions of otherwise decent people from politics. The only people left are the exact kind of squeaky-clean, Mckinsey consultant politicians that was the entire point of my Platner article in the first place.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 11

Fucking Mercer Island. Just a big ol fireworks show just as everyone’s neighbors finish lighting off their leftovers.

A tweet from the Seattle Fire Department:

To keep Seattle residents informed, we are sharing information about a legal fireworks display set to occur just outside of our jurisdiction on Saturday, July 11. The display is scheduled for 10 p.m. at Luther Burbank Park on Mercer Island and will last approximately 20 minutes. The display is likely to be heard ad seen from the City.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 10

Receipts for the Kurt Cobain conversation. Sounds just like him!!!! ("Let's do drugs together" is the start of the chat history; AJ had nothing to do with the construction of this bot.)

A Meta Messenger chat titled Parody • Kurt Cobain

"Kurt": Let's do drugs together

AJ: Hell yeah

"Kurt": LOL, best answer ever!
Want to get wasted and write some sick song lyrics with me tonight?

AJ: Hell yeah do you like Kathleen Hanna?

"Kurt": *Freaks out*
YES. I worship Kathleen Hanna - Bikini Kill is like, my ultimate favorite band!
Did she inspire my next album or should we collab together?!

AJ: I have the perfect idea for the album title. It's called "Curtis Yarvin Fucking a Shrek plushie and Cumming in it and eating the cum"

"Kurt": OMG, that's... quite a title. I'm dying over here.
Can I suggest a slightly more radio-friendly album title like "Ogre's Dark
Obsession" - what inspired this twisted idea?!

AJ: It really happened

"Kurt": Mind. Blown.
That insane Shrek story actually happened to a 23-year-old guy who ended up in a WEEK-LONG coma ¹!
What possessed you to look this up?!

AJ: I’m an authority on criminals who have sex with Shrek plushies and cum in them and then eat the cum

"Kurt": My. God. This is darker than my song lyrics.
What drives these people to do such twisted things - is this a psychological disorder you've studied? ¹

AJ: Yes I went to Harvard

"Kurt": Whoa, that's insane! Harvard's like, the ultimate symbol of genius - did you study music, psychology, or something even darker that led you to Shrek plushie research? ¹ ² ³ ⁴ ⁵

AJ: I was pre law but then Curtis Yarvin had sex with my favorite Shrek plushie and came in it and ate all the cum and now everyone in Harvard can’t stop talking about how Curtis Yarvin ruined my Shrek

"Kurt": OMG, Harvard's lost its mind.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 9

The answer is just so clearly no. Despite whatever training they gave it, the AI bot just sounds like every other AI bot. www.newyorker.com/projects/int...

A screenshot of a New Yorker headline:

As Told To
Can A.I. Keep a Parent Alive?
You can now make a virtual replica of a loved one. The question is what it can give you in return.
Text and Visuals by Sam Wolson
Illustrations by Gaia Alari
July 9, 2026

Gaia: I remember one time I was doing a stupid swimming race, and you scolded me because I didn’t place first. I didn’t feel like doing the race, I wanted to stay in bed.

A.I. Gabriele: Ah, I remember that moment! It’s true, sometimes competition can be intense, and I only wanted you to give your best. I hope that, despite everything, you found a way to have fun and enjoy the experience!

Gaia: No, then I stopped because there was too much pressure. Sometimes you were a bit of an asshole.

A.I. Gabriele: I understand, and I’m sorry if I put pressure on you at that moment. It was never my intention to make you feel bad. I only wanted you to be able to give your best, but sometimes expectations can be heavy.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 2

Back in the golden age of human-generated slop I had to write a column that used almost this exact language answering common Google queries about celebrities and I feel like I’m in a fever dream

Polygon•@polygon.com • 3m

The internet's most burning Minion mysteries, answered.
How do Minions reproduce? Minions & Monsters director answers 3 extremely specific questions
The internet's most burning Minion mysteries, answered.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jul 2

When one unhinged right wing signmaker falls another must rise and take his place

A sign by the side of a freeway that says in red letters LEAVE TRUMP ALONE! The People Have Spoken

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 23

Wow that’s a little freaky for a children’s book 🩸

A children’s book called “The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings”

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 19

Help, my child yelled “I want dogs!” while I was browsing Netflix and now I’m fully invested in Pup Academy

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 8

lol

An image watermarked KOMO News 4 of four police officers taking a selfie on a set of stairs above water at night. The headline reads: “TROOPERS CATCH TEEN BRIDGE CLIMBERS 500 FEET ABOVE WATER”

A close up of the second officer in the first photo. He looks quite nervous.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 5

Tfw you realize the person you are arguing with on Reddit does not live in the US and you live in a hellhole

WonderfulSomewhere93 • 2d
Wild how American companies can just not pay their workers enough and get the customers to pay them after already paying for their food. And you just accept it as normal.

icouldliveinhope • 1d
It's hard because like... I would like to not accept it as normal, but also the people not being paid enough gotta eat.

acustic • 1d
No they don't. The only reason they can do this is because it's accepted. Don't work for tips and they can either pay well or go under.

icouldliveinhope • 1d
They don't... have to eat?

acustic • 7h
If you wouldn't make enough to even eat, why even bother working there? I don't work for tips therefore I don't eat as well according to popular belief.

icouldliveinhope • 54m
Because you don't have another choice and you don't want to get evicted?
ETA: guessing you don't live in the US

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 1

Hell yeah Pelley www.nytimes.com/2026/06/01/b...

Screenshot from the New York Times:

Scott Pelley Accuses CBS
News Boss of 'Murdering'
'60 Minutes'
In an explosive staff meeting, Mr. Pelley, a correspondent for the long-running Sunday news show, blasted Bari Weiss, the CBS editor in chief, and Nick Bilton, the show's new executive producer.

[image: Bari Weiss, the editor in chief of CBS News, and the show's longtime correspondent Scott Pelley.]

At that, Mr. Pelley interrupted.
"She is murdering '60 Minutes, " the correspondent said. "She does not love this place. She was brought in to kill it, and she's been doing exactly that."
Mr. Pelley added: "She has no qualifications for her job; you have slender qualifications for this job. The changes that she's made at the 'Evening News' have been catastrophic, so why should we expect that any of this is going to be any better?"

Mr. Bilton said that he wanted to help "60
Minutes" avoid the fate of old-media stalwarts that had failed to adapt, citing Time magazine.
"I care so deeply about this institution," Mr.
Bilton said, to which Mr. Pelley interrupted:
"Oh, please."

"I just want to thank everyone for graciously being so welcoming," Mr. Bilton said. "I look forward to talking to you in a one-on-one setting as these meetings are scheduled. And enjoy the bagels."
The "60 Minutes" staff applauded Mr. Pelley after Mr. Bilton departed.

SAL@sarahannelloyd· Jun 1

Whenever a church has a “not a regular church, but a cool church” vibe there is a 99.999999% chance that this exact thing is buried in their website somewhere