Sarah Shay

@sarahshay

PNW writer, editor, and musician (when my immune system allows). I'll be dancing down the street, when I get to the border. 🇵🇸✡✊🏼

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Sarah Shay@sarahshay· 9d

I choose to believe that Lane Bryant is trolling their own customers, and I love that for them.

A clothing listing on Lane Bryant's website, depicting a woman with tn skin, long dark hair, and freckles, standing with hands on hips, wearing jeans and a raglan tee with the words "GO SPORTS" in classic college font on the front. The shirt is grey on grey with white writing. It is on clearance for 50% off.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· 12d

Make it make sense, I am begging you

A screenshot from the Merriam-Webster website listing the phrase "slings and arrows." Under "etymology" it reads "from the phrase 'the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune' in Shakespeare's Hamlet." Under "first known use," it says "1963."

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· 17d

(Record scratch) (Freeze frame) Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this mess.

A scene of chaos on the set of the game show Game Changer. Comedian Zach Reino kneels on a table looking straight at the camera with an incredulous expression on his face. Next to him, Demi Adejuyigbe leans on the table and looks down in an expression of defeat. Two other comedians, Anna Garcia and Hannah Pilkes, flank Zach, holding his head in their hands. Anna is standing on the table leaning over him, while Hannah is standing next to the table and leaning over Demi. To be honest I have no idea what Hannah and Anna are doing, and from Zach's expression he doesn't either.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· 17d

If you haven't seen the Arby's logo generator, you're missing out on some quality giggles. This is my favorite so far (also my favorite Josh Ruben bit).

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jul 9

Oh thank GOD someone finally made a plant-based rice

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jul 8

Just another reminder that jokes in alt text are great, but make sure there's an actual description in there too! For example, the below image neglects to mention that the capybara's expression kinda suggests that he is Done with Your Shit.

Infographic describing how to format an alt text description.

[IDENTIFY WHO] A capybara
[EXPRESSION] looking relaxed
[DESCRIPTION] in a hot spa,
[COLOR] yellow Yuzu fruits
[DESCRIPTION] are floating in the water,
[RELEVANT OR INTERESTING FEATURES] and one is balanced atop the capybara's head.

You could argue that he looks very zen and above it all, but I think he's just unimpressed.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jun 25

I haven't drawn a comic in uh...easily 15 years? But all the cartoonists I follow are saying today is #MakeATerribleComicDay, so I was like "well hell, I guess I can do that."

A very bad three-panel comic with three inconsistent drawings that are supposed to me. In all three, I am holding two pills in what is supposed to be my right hand, but looks more like a cartoon chicken silhouette. The joke is: I am currently on two meds I have to take twice daily. One has to be taken with food, and one has to be on an empty stomach. I haven't figured out which ones tells the truth yet.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jun 22

Guy: I'm a tiny man. My brain:

A still from the animated series Bigtop Burger, showing a puppeteer holding up a marionette of a strange little clown demon, with a yellow and blue diamonded jumpsuit, red horns, and its tongue sticking out. The caption reads "Behold my little man."

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jun 14

Update: The job hunt is going great!

Screenshot of a job listing on Indeed.com. Title is "Romance writer for webnovels (werewolf, mafia, billionaire)." Under "Education," it lists "Bachelor's (required)."

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Jun 3

"Martin Scorsese," followed by a screenshot of a news article that reads "Martin Scorsese promotes generative AI for storyboarding." Below that, "Rian Johnson," followed by two images: a childlike scrawl of a simplistic human figure surrounded by X's, and below that the still from the film Knives Out that it was storyboarding, of the famous moment showing Ana de Armas sitting in the center of a dramatically backlit ring of dozens of knives.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 19

Pick a Bond villain from the photos you already have on your phone

A still from the music video for the song "Shum" by the Ukranian band Go-a. A thin woman (lead singer Kateryna Pavlenko) with pale skin and dark hair, wearing a long black trenchcoat, stands in a frozen forest with a large bird of prey perched on her outstretched arm. She looks badass as fuck. Yes this is the photo I already posted for the Bond version of this meme. Did I stutter?

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 16

Pick a Bond from the photos already on your phone.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 10

The EBU to Israel right now:

Screenshot of a tweet from username @NicCageMatch: Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 9

I cannot express enough that this has never and will never happen.

Screenshot of an email. Subject: Your supporters can now tip in Crypto. From: hello@BuyMeACoffee.com. Body: Hi Sarah Shay, You've probably had a supporter ask if they can pay in crypto, and you had to awkwardly say no. Not anymore.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 7

Sorry, someone just pointed out to me that the name Chubby Checker was supposed to be an obvious play on Fats Domino and I can't think about anything else. I just stood there doing this face for a solid 20 seconds

A still image of the cartoon character Pikachu with a look of blank astonishment on his face.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· May 4

I almost don't want to edit this, because I'm just so intrigued. Like...literally how the fuck did we get here.

Wikipedia screenshot: "Róa" (stylised as "RÓA"; pronounced [ˈrouːa]; translation: "Row") is a song by Icelandic electronic music duo Væb. The song was released on 17 January 2025 through Alda Music and was written by Gunnar Björn Gunnarsson, Hálfdán Helgi Matthíasson, Ingi Þór Garðarsson, and Matthías Davíð Matthíasson. It represented Iceland in the Eurovision Song Contest 2025, where it placed 25th in the grand final with 33 points.

The song describes the story of frogs climbing a mountain, with an encouraging message to persist through hard times.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Apr 30

Question: Would you buy eucalyptus soap from a company that doesn't know the difference between eucalyptus and rosemary?

Screenshot from good.store of an item titled "Navigator - eucalyptus mint." A nicely styled photograph shows a purple bar of soap with foamy suds down one side, flanked by a sprig of what appears to be mint, and one that is undeniably rosemary.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Apr 15

I need to know who the fuck wrote this third-grade-book-report-ass synopsis of SLC Punk. This was from an official listing for a DVD box set of "Sony Classics," ffs.

Below a still image of Matthew Lillard and Michael Goorjian in the film is this text: "SLC Punk:
Two punks live in Salt Lake City. The film covers their all-day routine. The realism of the character-narrated movie may be discussed. One of the punks gets ill, stays in hospital for three weeks, comes out again. Three parties are covered and one concert including a fight between punks, rednecks and others."

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Apr 9

I never use shit like DoorDash, but tonight we're celebrating and my roommate wasn't feeling up to walking or busing. But if I'd seen these fees in advance, I'd 1000% have walked to the cheaper burger place by our house instead of 'treating' us to @lilwoodys.bsky.social. This is insanely predatory.

Subtotal: $42.10. SEA regulatory response fee: $4.99. Regulatory bag fee: 8 cents. Delivery fee: $2.99. Service fee: $4.21. Estimated tax: $5.74. Tip amount: $6.31. Total: $66.42 (which means we paid more than 40% in taxes and fees).

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 25

Should I appeal this label? I mean, it is technically incorrect -- the image does involve nudity, and isn't sexually suggestive. Thoughts?

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 25

Also it turns out the Dalziels are kinda freaky? I know they're using the word "proper" in some specific heraldic sense here, but it does make the description extra funny.

Screenshot of the official heraldic arms of the Dee-yell family on Wikipedia: a black shield with an illustration of a naked man, with blonde hair and beard and blue eyes, standing with legs together and facing forward, looking very intense and holding his hands out at either side as if to say "What do you want from me?" The caption reads: Arms of Dalziel, matriculated with the Court of the Lord Lyon around 1672–1677: Sable a naked man, his arms expanded proper.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 24

I am pleased to announce that I successfully made a @blackforager.bsky.social recipe for the first time! This magnolia syrup is so nice in seltzer; I'm thrilled that I can now enjoy my favorite tree with more senses 🥰

A pale-skinned hand holds a glass bottle full of a light amber-colored liquid, with a handwritten label that reads "Magnolia Syrup 3/26." There are houseplants and a window in the background.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 21

Not only was it real, it looked even worse in physical form.

Photo of the Eurovision mascot costume on the streets of Basel in 2025. It's a horrifying, vaguely heart-shaped creature with strangely bulbous arms and legs, huge eyes that seems to be melting off its face, and a disturbingly detailed mouth. It has raggedy fur/hair on top. The whole thing is colored in seemingly random blotches of yellow, red, orange, and purple. There's a hole in the center for the wearer to see through, which gives the impression of a sunken-in nose, like the Phantom of the Opera.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 20

I was wondering why Lumo, the unhinged 2025 Eurovision mascot, had suddenly breached containment and filled my feed with normies having hysterics. Apparently it's because the new 2026 mascot was announced -- and it's also bad, but still an order of magnitude less fucked up than Lumo.

A photo of the physical costume of Auri, the 2026 Eurovision mascot. It's much more generically mascot-shaped, like the Disney Channel version of the Philly Phanatic: a vaguely yeti-like creature, covered in pink and purple shaggy hair, with a tuft of yellow hair on top of its head, big cartoon eyes, and a large horn-shaped purple nose. It wears yellow headphones and white sneakers.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 20

Heard some podcasters talking about music and one of them compared an artist to Jelly Roll, and I was like "Wow, cool that they're talking about one of the first recorded jazz musicians in history, but I can't see how he relates to Eurovision." 🤔

Screenshot of the Wikipedia page for Jelly Roll Morton, jazz and blues performer and composer, born 1890. The photo is a black and white image of a Black man in his 30s with pomaded hair.

Screenshot of the Wikipedia article for Jelly Roll, American rapper and singer, born 1984. The photo is a color image of a white man in his 40s with many tattoos.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 10

This was rejected because I used the F word, but THEY ASKED FOR YAOI WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO???

A prompt from a human submitted on the website your AI slip bores me reads "write me yaoi about 2 countries please." My reply: "Ooooh Romania you are so sexy," purred Moldova. "Let's combine our magic to destroy Russia and then fuck" Romania replied. They did, and it was sOooooooOOOoo hot

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Mar 7

Me: I don't care about the personal lives of artists I like, that's none of my business. The internet: Miriana Conte is dating a gay Maltese footballer named Jade Flask. Me:

Screenshot of a tweet by Tyler, The Creator. It reads: Un-follow me now, this is gonna be the only thing I tweet about for the next week. I've wanted this for years fuck. What the fuck.

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Feb 23

I saw this tumblr post a few days ago and thought "Aha, a humorous overreaction, how droll." Then this skeet came across my dash today casting aspersions on my literal favorite food on the entire planet and I became one with seravph.

Tumblr post by user seravph on July 13, 2021:

"what's the worst fruit" I hope you fucking die i'm strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. 'the worst fruit'...has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

Sarah Shay@sarahshay· Feb 15

#dora2026