Siege of the Spirit

@siegeofthespirit

Struggling through bipolar disorder with music, writing and horses. Visit www.siegeofthespirit.com She/her 🚫 Politics

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Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· 14d

Please don’t say,”We’re all a little bipolar.” #bipolar #mentalhealth #mentalillness #invisible

Picture of a quote.

Please Don't Say, "We're All a Little Bipolar."
When you say, "We're all a little bipolar," you don't make me feel understood-you make my illness feel invisible.
When you say, "Get over it," you ignore the battles I fight every single day just to survive.
Bipolar disorder isn't a bad mood or a rough week. It's a serious mental illness that can turn ordinary days into impossible ones.
Your words may last a few seconds-but they can leave someone feeling unseen, ashamed, and completely alone.
A Bipolar Diary

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· 19d

You are not “too much.” #bipolar #mentalhealth #compassion

The hardest part of bipolar disorder isn't always the mood changes...
It's wondering if people will still love you after they see the parts of you that you can't control.
It's apologizing for moments you wish you could take back.
It's pretending you're okay because you're tired of hearing,
"Just think positive."
If you live with bipolar disorder, please remember this:
You are not "too much." You are not "broken."
You are a human being living with a real medical condition-and you deserve compassion, support, and hope.
Bipolar Voices

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· 20d

Sensory overwhelm - From Siege of the Spirit #WriteSky #WritingCommunity #WIPSnips -> vibes: dissonance #fantasy #darkfantasy

Dark red black blue and gray photo of the interior of a dead tree with white text of a WIP that reads:

Beyond the room's protections and wards a chanting singsong began, soft and melodic at first. Only a few bars in, a slight dissonance began, and then the melody was gone and all that remained was aversion in his ears, and the rawhide-covered chains biting and crushing him.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jul 13

#bipolar thought

Screenshot:

ONE OF THE LONELIEST PARTS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER
IS HIDING IT JUST TO FEEL NORMAL AROUND PEOPLE.
NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE ASHAMED - BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE EXHAUSTED
BY THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WHEN THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
PRESS (heart emoji) IF YOU'VE EVER CHOSEN SILENCE
JUST TO PROTECT YOUR PEACE.
The Quiet Healing

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jul 13

The universe shrinks. He stands alone, stigmatized, in the spotlight. From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #almost #fantasy #WriteSky #writingcommunity #writingprompt #bipolar

White text over a photo of lightning in a purplish sky

He stood in the center, almost fully ringed by empty space, and illuminated
not by a warm brazier, but by cold, focused beams of light from shining gemstone lanterns mounted on poles.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jul 13

Speaking my truth #unabashed one day in biting nails confidence placed in a moment retreats within hours It is done and I wait, second-guessing Integrity’s courage with a coward’s regret. #vss365

A photo of a silhouette of a snag against an early morning sky with a tiny crescent moon

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jul 6

The testimony isn’t glowing. - From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #stadium -> amphitheater #writesky #writingcommunity #fantasy #darkfantasy

He lifted his gaze over the AMPHITHEATER and up into the roiling gray sky so he would not see the reaction of the crowd, for few could now bear the sight of him.

Siege of the Spirit

Photo of a tunnel of stone arches with white text over it

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jul 3

The climb by secret ways - From Siege of the Spirit #Writesky #writingcommunity #WIPSnips #out #fantasy #darkfantasy

His need drew him up, past many false passages and into many true, through a black tunnel lined with crystalline needles, up, through an open circle with six different ways OUT, down a steep slope that dropped into a pit, up an uncountable number of cracked stone steps flanking a chasm, and into thinner air. He arose breathless from the climb, crossed a slippery rope bridge over that same chasm, and hopped up onto a slightly convex slab of snow-dusted rock
There, everything lay spread before him.

Siege of the Spirit

Photo of a talus slope on a mountain with a view of more mountain slopes below - white text over it

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jun 29

The prisoner is bemused.

Ahead, light, A torch flickered beside a door coming up to his left. It opened outward, blocking his way. A wooden rod tapped his shoulder and pointed to a bucket with one unmistakable purpose. He availed himself of it gladly enough. How long had it been? To relieve himself of WATER, while dying for a drink. What a strange mercy.
Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jun 27

His past trauma exacerbates his present danger. - From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #root #fantasy #darkfantasy #writesky #writingcommunity

White text of a work-in-progress over a black and white photo of a collapsed and burnt building reads:

With a silent oath, he tore his terrified flesh from the doorway and nocked an arrow. He let fly one after another, frantically, until his foes came too close. The beat of their drums warred with reason and fear. It touched something ROOTed and waiting in him; he lowered his weapon.
In the next instant he could no longer move.
His feet had frozen to the ground and the drumbeats formed a wall of noise around him. Smoke stung his eyes. The scars on his body turned to fire, seared by the flames that had put them there, as fresh and excruciating as the original fire had been.
His memories crashed around him, and he screamed her name, screamed for the friend he had lost.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jun 26

Beleaguered escape attempt. It’s about time he tried. - From Siege of the Spirit I’m sorry there’s not a creature as lovely as a #fox to be found. Here’s wolf, a poor substitute. #WIPSnips #fantasy #Darkfantasy #writesky #writingcommunity

Blood-chilling roars and cranking noises emanated from the structure above him, threaded with wet shrieks.
He saw no one.

Wolves waited nearby, watching him
with idle curiosity among the heaps of bones.
Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jun 20

Surrounded by loved ones, but still alone. #WIPSnips #fantasy #darkfantasy #writesky #writingcommunity #wip #lounge -> dark vibes

White text of a WIP over photo of brick arches:

Though ensconced in luxury, cocooned in friends and family, he lay submissive while the healer went about applying the restraints.
His wide eyes chased murals on the ceiling,
filled with grief and terror.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· May 10

Not a choice so much as truth. But how much can it affect the outcome? From Siege of the Spirit #wipsnips #fate #fantasy #darkfantasy

"There are two ways for you to submit to your FATE: With dignity and open eyes or in agony and humiliation, squirming and squealing like a stuck pig."

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· May 4

So entrenched in his unworthiness, not even the Divine itself can convince him to accept healing. #WipSnips #rebellion -> rebellious #fantasy #writesky #writingcommunity

No. No-Ineffectual. A REBELLIOUS child's braying. Huddled over the Spring he strained against its invitation, immobilized by doubt. He could almost feel the healing it offered.

Healing offered again, despite his denials.
He shoved at the rock lip with his fists, arms braced, unaware of the sun's climbing, unaware of the biting cold, unaware of the green-gold radiance awakening in the enlivened knotwork of leaves and flowers on the harp resting beside him. Nothing mattered but resistance.

He pushed himself up with all his might, his neck corded with the effort of lifting his head.
"No ... I cannot accept this gift."

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Apr 25

His new best friend. From Siege of the Spirit #wipsnips #tack #fantasy #darkfantasy #writesky #writingcommunity

He sidled closer, taking in the filth-crusted tack and the wounds on the dark haunches.
He put two fingers to the double whorl on its face and the horse stilled while he unbuckled the bridle and gently drew the sharp, twisted bit from its mouth. He dropped the mess with a grimace and went on to the rest, unbuckling breast collar, girths and crupper with care. The horse followed his ministrations with its ears as he eased the saddle off.
One by one, he examined its feet.

Siege of the Spirit

Image, a horse’s head partly silhouetted by a sunset and mostly obscured in inky darkness. White text over the image.

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Mar 25

Face what must be faced. - From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #gentle #WritingCommunity #WriteSky #WIP #fantasy #darkfantasy

Though he did not resist them, his gloved handlers did not go out of their way to be GENTLE and neither did he exert himself by lifting a limb to accept the bonds. Instead, he concentrated on managing his fear.
He could smell it seeping from his own pores, a different sensation now that he was beyond the shame of his sentencing and alone with the terrifying imminence of the ordeal.
The bindings tightened with a tick, tick, ticking sound, crushing him against the stone.

Siege of the Spirit

White text on a background of darkened interior of dead tree.

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Mar 21

My ?bullshit tale: No one cares about my characters over there or anything I have to say over here. I’ve heard my actual writing doesn’t suck so it’s gotta be that and it saddens me. (Self-talk brutal-I know better than to do this.) #depression #bipolar *Never have 3 beers even on #effitfriday!*

Text in a handwriting font (or maybe a photo of actual handwriting) says
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
Jordan Belfort

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Feb 20

I’m unstoppable #bipolar #therapy #humor Meme stolen from facebook

Orange square with black text in all caps and a whatever emoji

ME: IM UNSTOPPABLE
THERAPIST: NO, I SAID YOURE UNSTABLE
ME: EH
TOMATO, POTATO

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Feb 13

My shadow self #horsesky #bipolar #trail #shadow #trailride Zil and I cast a shadow on a recent trail ride.

Shadow of horse and rider rising from the bottom of a photo of a brown earth and gray leafless vegetation

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Feb 10

Jonathan Edward Durham
@thisoneOverhere
Full disclosure, living "rent-free in my head" is not exactly the real estate windfall it's been made out to be, that neighborhood has a TON of issues

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Feb 8

So I will scream into the void… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! #bipolar #depression #alone #bipolardepression #effitfriday on Sunday

Wish I was as physically alone as I am on Bluesky today so I could scream.

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Feb 7

This is for you! #caturday #positive #affirmation

Picture of a gray cat wrapped in a pink towel looking at the viewer. Caption: keep up the awesomeness and have a fabulous week

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 27

A place to heal the soul, if … - From Siege of the Spirit #fantasy #WIPSnips #storm #writesky #writingcommunity

"All ills may be healed
here. Ills of the mind, the body, the soul-if the soul is willing to be healed.
Seldom is the clarity of the
water lost in STORM, in blue sky reflected, in fiery sunset or in that hour of perfect silence just before!"
So said the Acolyte to the small assembly of pilgrims standing on the ledge overlooking
River-source.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 24

Everything shifts - From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #bone #fantasy #WriteSky #writingcommunity #writingprompt

White text on a background photo of starry sky reads:

The deep bell tolled once; its heavy, sonorous voice spread like a slow wave, a pall of finality resounding
in the breast BONEs of all,
a sense of doom and mortality they all now shared.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 24

pass it on!! It's pfp day where you post your pfp. again. everyone look at the picture you've seen 9,932 times!! This Redtail hawk at this point in its transformation back into earth has a lot of symbolism to me. Juxtaposed with my profile banner of a Redtail in flight, even more so.

Skull of a Redtail hawk embedded in the forest floor with pine needles, leaves, decaying feathers, dry grass and bits of small animal dung. All colors ranging through white, tan, golden brown and some black bits.

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 18

#Hypomanic yesterday, and I think I sabotaged myself with a tiny amount of medication last night to help myself settle down and sleep. Today I’m going back to my roots. I’m always blurting “I want to go home,” but I can’t seem to find the place. Maybe my childhood LP collection is it? Helps, so far.

Vintage Vinyl Record Eagles Hotel California, my very first LP I got as a child! 🥰. It skipped in a certain spot and as surprising as it was, it also wasn’t because that skip was always there in my childhood too! Right where it belonged.

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 18

Mindfulness gets him through. From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #remain #fantasy #WriteSky #writingcommunity #writingprompt #mindfulness #mentalhealth

He drew breath, replaced that disquiet with focus. Mindful of the present, of the living rock under his feet, of the strength it gave him, of the stiff, bitter wind against his skin, he gazed at the faces of those who had shown themselves to REMAIN his true friends and allowed what warmth to rise in him that could.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 17

From a new WIP, a dark fantasy novella about a principled, compassionate woman empathically bonded to her twin who, as his magical powers swell, is steadily succumbing to the hubris growing along with them. I only work on it when I’m half asleep. #WIPSnips #gold #WriteSky #fantasy

He stood among the moss rocks in russet and gold robes. His hair threw sunlight and he was cast all in the halo tones of the warmth she felt from him. He smiled. "Welcome, sister!" He embraced her, planting a kiss on her cheek.
His skin was cool, his face ruddy with sun or sea-wind. Tan churned inside with his strange giddiness. Something was indeed wrong, but he did not feel it in the same way she did.

"You look well," she said. "Are you?"

He tilted his head. "I've something for you. Hold out your hand."

Tan obeyed. He tipped a small pouch over her hand. Three cold, bright stones tumbled into her palm. Their colors! Red, gold and blue, so bright. Translucent, with sharp-edged facets, powerful things that drank the sun's radiance and transformed it. She gave a little gasp. They sat there scintillating, a puddle of mysterious meaning in the cup of her palm.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 16

Set in stone. From Siege of the Spirit #WIPSnips #brain #fantasy #WriteSky #writingcommunity #writingprompt

White text over a photo of red coals inside a campfire.

So be it," echoed a multitude.

His shivering ceased. He tried to breathe but could not. The low, heavy sound—so be it —tunneled into his ears, burned against his scalp, compressed his BRAIN. It constricted his chest and melted through his skin and into his viscera. It was loud.

So very loud.

Siege of the Spirit

Siege of the Spirit@siegeofthespirit· Jan 15

Dixie high on Lizard Head Trail! #WednesdayWags #dogsky #traildog #Colorado #dog