Simons Mith

@simons-mith

I may not be as colourful as my avatar, but I do have better posture. I'm intending to post a mixture of daily lies, and whatever other stuff - serious or nonsense - comes to my attention. Obviously, my real-world name is a closely-guarded secret.

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Simons Mith@simons-mith· Apr 14

No cat has ever been a member of the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things. (see figs. 1 and 2) #completelytrue

Figure 1: A stone statue of a cat sitting down, looking at an empty beer can on its plinth. The cat looks a bit like a lioness, and its tail is curled in a spiral along its left flank. The tail may have a tail-tuft on the end, hard to be certain. In the background is the green lawn of a park, a few trees, and distant picnickers.
Figure 1/Figure 2 interstitial (not shown): The beer can blinks.
Figure 2: The beer can is now lying on the ground, having been pushed off the plinth. The cat is looking at it in its new position. See, not even stone cats can be trusted.

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Feb 8

Attempted upload of a silly image. Will probably appear as a green rectangle, but is supposed to be a hot dog with a torch and a sniper sight. A 'dog of war'. Chosen because it probably is funnier if you just imagine it :-)

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Feb 1

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Jan 13

Well now, that's revealing. Minecraft is a Media franchise, is it? This is autocomplete on Edge on a corporate-pilled laptop. Any shenanigans here aren't from my end!

An autocomplete pull-down menu with 'mi' filled in, and the Minecraft 'Media franchise' - not 'game', I notice - as the second most probable option.

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Nov 6

Oh yes, if you're not the subject it's all too easy to overlook.

Two eagles sat in chairs in a gentlemen's club are discussing an owl.
"Do you think the owl is a predator?"
"Of course not. He's never bothered me."
"Exactly." (sips his cup of tea) "No idea what Mr. Mouse was going on about."

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Oct 21

Last try, as a GIF, cos this is a nuisance and I'd like to find a workaround. The procedural element is that the cutaway happens whoever's winning - the PCs are trapped in the detention block, the scene cuts away to the garbage chute. (And PCs shouldn't care about shooting all the troopers anyway.)

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Oct 21

Tactical Successes Buy Time - an extract from a house Star Wars D6 rulebook where I try to make the point that as soon as it's clear which side is winning, in cinematic terms, the fight is over and the camera would probably cut away. I should probably add that bit in so many words.

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Oct 21

I've had a partial stab at this in the rules I already have:

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Oct 21

Sure does

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Sep 16

Here's a few sample pages:

Sample page layout from a full colour epub converted to pdf using Caibre's built-in converter and the occasionale pagination tweak. (About one manual page break was needed every 20 pages, but on the whole the automatic tools did okay, once they were suitably configured)

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Jul 31

Flash has a good point (textsfromsuperheroes.com/image/676850...)

Text conversation between Green Lantern and Flash:
GL: Piece of advice, if The Question asks you to be on his podcast say no.
F: The Question has a podcast? I hadn't heard of it.
GL: It's not available online. He says "Cell phones are for tracking us" so he records it on cassette tapes and leaves it in mailboxes around town.
F: No one can possibly be listening to that.
GL: Actually it's got a weird hipster following who say that podcasts sound warmer on cassette.
F: That might be peak podcast actually.

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Jul 25

Yeah, nicer than the Dairy Milk Vegemite flavour

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Jul 12

(see figure 1)

Goth and visigoth, the latter in the usual dark clothing and makeup, but wearing a high-visibility corset

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Jul 3

Honestly, the branding practically draws itself

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Apr 17

You can't make a wig out of Wotsits You can't make a truss out of tripe You cannot make jeans Out of haricot beans Regardless of whether they're ripe.

Bob Mortimer in formal black tie attire against a black background with sparkles in it, giving the lie to my 'You can't make a wig out of Wotsits' thesis by wearing a wig made of Wotsits. Curse you, Mortimer, you win this round.
One Wotsit is sticking up from the otherwise smooth and cheesy hairpiece.

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Apr 7

How's this?

Poster for Olaf Falafel's Stupidest Super Stupid Show made slightly stupider

Simons Mith@simons-mith· Mar 29

See - no scrollbar. If I'm quick, I can scroll once, before the page fully loads (using the mousewheel) but once it's fully loaded I'm locked in position and the mousewheel no longer responds. This is a new glitch I've never seen before, on any web site. Sorry I can't give much more info.