SimpsonsQOTD
@simpsonsqotd
Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
"The only way to survive a deadly blaze is... Oh, heck, life's too short for fire safety. Let's go outside and pick wild flowers."
"Well, guess who's flat broke and picking up trash for a living?" "Please be Flanders, please be Flanders, please be Flanders."
"Okay, you're fighting a guy named Boxcar Bob." "Brawled his way up from the boxcars, did he?" "No, not yet. He still lives at the train yard but he's a hungry young fighter. In fact, he's actually fighting for a sandwich."
"Wow, what an ending. Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father?" 'Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me."
"Dad, what are you doing down there?" "Washing my fat-guy hat, honey."
"Uh, good evening, young man. My name is Charles Norwood. Furthermore, to this beer, I would also like three of your finest, cheapest cigars. Here's my I.D., which confirms my adultivity."
"We won a dental plan in the strike of '88. That's where I got this scar. Where's my burrito?! Where's my burrito?! Where's my burrito?! Ow!"
"So, Mr. Simpson, you admit you grabbed her can? What do you have to say in your defense? Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. No, Mr. Simpson. Don't take your anger out on me! Get back! Get back! Mr. Simpson, no!"
"By the way, Homer. What's your least favorite country? Italy or France?" 'France." "Nobody ever says Italy."
"Oh. Well, I guess that explains everything." "Not everything. There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife." "Um, I'm right here." "Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic."
"Bartchat." "Are you Bart?" "Sure, I am. I didn't do nothin'." "Uh, isn't it, 'I didn't do it'?" "Yeah, whatever."
♪ I hate every ape I see ♪ ♪ From chimpan-a to chimpanzee ♪ ♪ No, you'll never make a monkey ♪ ♪ Out of me ♪ ♪ Oh my God, I was wrong ♪ ♪ It was Earth all along ♪ ♪ You've finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Yes, we finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Yes, you finally made a monkey ♪ ♪ Out of me♪ I love you, Dr. Zaius.
"Ice cream! Ice cream! I'm all out of ice cream! It's true, you know. Ice cream! Ice cream! Fresh out of ice cream!"
"Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out."
"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!"
"This home isn't secure at all. Intruders could come in down the chimney, through the mail slot... even hidden in your groceries."
"Uh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for 10 years, and, uh, I think I know how a proton accelerator works." "Well, please come down and show us." "All right. I will."
"Think you can get this car home?" "Sure thing, giant beer." "Ooh! Ow! Ow! Mother of mercy! Hey, this is kind of fun. Whee! Whee! Ow!"
"I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, Japan, please." "Okay. Here you go. The phone book for Hokkaido, Japan." "Thank you. May I please use your phone?" "Is it a local call?" "Y... Yes."
"I know you can read my thoughts, boy. ♪ Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ♪ ♪ Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ♪"
"You're out there somewhere, beer baron, and I'll find you." 'No, you won't.' "Yes, I will.' "Won't."
"Hey, that smells like regular. She needs premium, dude! Premium! Duuude!"
"Hey, why that sounds like Gabriel's trumpet. You know that means, kids." "Yay! Judgment day!"
"Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy." "Yeah, they'll do that."