Dr Splatterjacket

@splatterjacket

This is the Bluesky account of Doctor Splatterjacket, one of the most brilliant inventors the world has ever seen. His inventions have almost changed the world 37 times. This year he has committed to inventing one new invention every week.

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Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· 1d

Do you want your house to be nice and smell nice? Then you need FreshVac a combination vacuum cleaner and fragrance booster. It doesn’t even accidentally explode your house or anything. splatterjacket.com/2026/08/Fres...

A vacuum cleaner is sucking up dust and dirt from a nice living room with two sofas in it and a rug. The vacuum has a transparent body so you can see the dust being collected in the bottom half of the chamber. In the top half is a purple and green canister which contains the fresh perfume.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· 8d

Do you sometimes need to repaint a wall because the paint has cracked due to it being too near to liquid hot magma or a radiator? Then you need HeatRoll a combination temperature sensor and paint roller. You should get one right now! splatterjacket.com/2026/08/Heat...

On a blank table lays a handle for an implement which has some buttons and a readout display showing 230 degrees C. Next to it is a roller and above it is a fluffy roller which is used for applying paint.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· 15d

When it is raining do you sometimes fancy a warm snack but get worried that you might get too wet going and getting one? I don’t because I have BakeBrella a combination umbrella and hot sandwich dispenser. splatterjacket.com/2026/08/Bake...

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· 22d

Want to know how you can tell I’m much cooler than you? My to do tracking device is also a motorbike. Don’t bother putting “Get a ChronoRide” on your to do list, just get one now. splatterjacket.com/2026/08/Chro...

A cool futuristic looking motorbike in bright colours of electric pink and blue has a screen on the handle bars. On the side of the bike it says ChronoRide.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jul 18

When drying your clothes do you spend time watching the dryer and doing nothing else? I thought so. You need DryLearn which allows you learn about loads of boring stuff that it detects you need to learn. Or you can override it to listen to something cool instead. splatterjacket.com/2026/07/DryL...

A clothes dryer is sitting in a green bricked room. On the front of the dryer is an electronic display with a sound wave on it. Above the Soundwave is the text Digital Marketing Fundamentals. A play and pause button and other podcasts can be chosen. At the bottom of the dryer it says DryLearn.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jul 11

Have you ever wanted to sell tickets to your living room? Well worry no more as you can now buy AdheSiPass, a roll of tickets which you can stick on anything, or use as tickets for entry. Your living room will be full of tourists in droves. splatterjacket.com/2026/07/Adhe...

A table has many items on it. A water bottle, a notebook, a phone, a book. Each has a sticker attached with a scannable QR code. A scanner is scanning the book, and it has a big tick on it. There is also a roll of green tape with lots of these stickers on it, which says in the middle of the roll AdheSiPass.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jul 4

With the LumaLedger you can shine a light on your finances… literally. It is the world’s first combination torch and bank account monitoring system. Allowing you to use the LumaLedger to work out if you can afford another one… which of course you can. Get it now! splatterjacket.com/2026/07/Luma...

A switched on torch with a special digital panel is lying on a grey background. On the special panel are graphs and figures showing financial information.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jun 27

Do your sandals not automatically clean the floor while you are walking? Then your kitchen floor isn’t as clean as it could be with SoapSteps. It cleans while you step, who doesn’t do that? Only the kind of person who doesn’t order their SoapSteps today! splatterjacket.com/2026/06/Soap...

A kitchen floor with a pink wall fills the picture. In the middle of the space a pair of legs is walking while wearing some cool looking sandals. Coming out of the sandals are some soapy bubbles that seem to be cleaning the floor.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jun 20

Of course you, like me, keep all of your important stuff in a secret vault. Unlike me you don’t lock your vault. I have revolutionised vaults by not only locking it, but being able to monitor my vault 24/7. Get your VaultWatch before I steal your stuff. splatterjacket.com/2026/06/Vaul...

Sitting on its side on a table is a watch with a smart screen. On the screen is a message which says ‘VaultWatch - Security Alert - Motion Detected.’ It has an exclamation mark in a triangle and below another message which says, ‘Dismiss / View Details’.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jun 13

How do you know when you have enough food on your plate? If you are using the old method of waiting until it starts spilling over the sides then that is very wasteful. I used to do that… but now I use MeasurePlate which is a plate with measurements on it. splatterjacket.com/2026/06/Meas...

On a table there is a bowl of fruit and a plant… but in the centre of the table is plate with lines running around it with measurements on it. In the middle of the plate are some cut up strawberries and a folded pancake.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jun 6

Do you often need to rub out quite large errors while transporting an infant? It might seem like quite a niche requirement, but a) GlideErase is definitely the best way to do both and b) once you have one, you’ll find it comes up a lot more than you might think. splatterjacket.com/2026/06/Glid...

A mother is standing, slightly leaning over while holding a controller in one hand. In front of her is a baby sitting in a chair which is floating on top of a giant eraser.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· May 30

Do you sometimes forget the best ideas that you come up with while having a hot drink? Of course you do… but I don’t because my mug is also a white board. Get your WhiteBrew now! splatterjacket.com/2026/05/Whit...

On a desk with a laptop sits a white mug. Attached to the mug is a pen with an whiteboard eraser on the end of it. Written on the mug is ‘White Brew: 10am’, ‘Call with Ben’, ‘Buy Milk!’, ‘Ideas’ and ‘E=MC2'.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· May 23

Do you get wet when it rains? Of course you do… but I don’t because I have DrySmile… just brush your teeth and get all day protection from the rain… If you don’t get DrySmile then don’t come crying to me when you get wet… your tears will just bounce off me. splatterjacket.com/2026/05/DryS...

On the side of a sink lies a toothbrush, which is being loaded with toothpaste coming out of a tube which says ‘DrySmile - Weatherproof toothpaste - Stay dry in rain’ on it. There is a an inserted picture which shows somebody standing out in the rain with a protective aura around them with rain bouncing off them.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· May 16

Introducing the ultimate way to relax… It’s called drawing. You might be drawing using old fashioned methods, but not me… I’m using the SketchSeat… with a pencil so big it forms part of the structure of the seat. Get yours today! splatterjacket.com/2026/05/Sket...

A desk chair with wheels is sitting in front of a desk. The desk has a draw containing a pad of paper, and two troughs containing pencils and erasers. The structure holding up the back of the chair is a giant pencil.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· May 9

CalmiPaper is paper where if you are in 7% of the population it will make you feel calmer. Get CalmiPaper today and hope you are either in the 7% of the population, or that the anxiety inducing situation has cleared itself up by the time the paper arrives. splatterjacket.com/2026/05/Calm...

Three pieces of coloured paper are sitting on a desk alongside a plant, a cup of coffee and a pen. A hand is touching one of the pieces of paper.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· May 2

Are you sick of composing music on an instrument and then having to remember what you composed and write it down later? Is there a way you can convince yourself that this is the main reason you don’t compose music? Your problem is solved with FluTonePen. splatterjacket.com/2026/05/FluT...

A notebook is lying on the table. There is a stave of music near the top of a page, with another stave being written by a pen, held in a hand. At the top of the pen there is a hole like that in a flute and musical notes are coming out of it.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Apr 25

Do you wish you had Satnav everywhere? GuideJacket will tell you where to go, by flashing indicators built into each sleeve. Not only is that great for you, but also for other pavement users. Stop crashing into people while walking, get your GuideJacket today! splatterjacket.com/2026/04/Guid...

A lady is driving a car while wearing a jacket. On the collar of the jacket are symbols indicating internet connectivity and mapping. There is a yellow indicator on her arm that is flashing. Outside the car the same woman is wearing the same jacket while walking with the same indicators.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Apr 18

Do you sometimes need to print things and saw things at the same time? Of course you do, and if you don’t have a bit of a look at yourself. With PrintSaw doing this takes half the time (or the same amount of time as doing just one activity). Get yours today. splatterjacket.com/2026/04/Prin...

Sitting on a table is something that looks like a computer printer, but has a rotating saw at the front behind some safety perspex. A piece of paper is sitting at the top ready to be printed on, a block of wood sits to the side. The device says PrintSawPro on it.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Apr 11

Do you use the same passwords? Would you like to use a password manager but worry about getting stolen? Does that thought make you sweat? Well then you need my combination Password Manager and Fan… PassFan! You’d be Fool!sh1 not to. splatterjacket.com/2026/04/Pass...

A metal fan is sitting on a wooden table, in the middle of the fan is a touchscreen set of controls showing a password above the fan is a thought bubble showing locks, keys and a password. A hand is reaching out to the fan.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Apr 4

Do you sometimes have to do the washing up and read an important paper or book at the same time? Are you always late with your homework or your household chores or both? Then get the Wash & Read today it will mean you are done in half the time. splatterjacket.com/2026/04/Wash...

In a sleek modern kitchen is an appliance sitting on the ground under the counter surface which clearly names itself Wash & Read. It has a handle at the top and various buttons at the bottom but in the middle is a screen displaying a book called “How to be a legend”.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Mar 28

Are you a government looking to invest in vital infrastructure… then you need WashRide a new kind of bus where passengers can also wash their clothes… it is innovations like this that the modern voter wants so buy a fleet of WashRides… today! splatterjacket.com/2026/03/Wash...

A bus which says WashRide on the side of it is travelling down the road. Inside the bus are a number of people and washing machines. Outside the bus are drawers for drying, one of the passengers has his arm out of the bus putting some washing into the drawer.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Mar 21

Is your desk boring and just sits in the corner of the room? Would it surprise you to learn that my desk is also a boat? That’s right with DeskAfloat you can have a desk, a boat… or the best of both worlds a desk you can work on as you float gently down stream. splatterjacket.com/2026/03/Desk...

A desk is standing on the shore of a large body of water, another desk is floating in the middle of the water with a man sitting at the desk working away, the desk has been converted into a boat.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Mar 14

Do you need a nightlight to keep you safe at night and portable speaker to keep you boogieing (also potentially at night but also in the day)? Then you need SafeSound it keeps you safe and sound as a pound (although the price is slightly higher than 1 pound). splatterjacket.com/2026/03/Safe...

On a nightstand next to a bed, a golden round speaker is sitting, it is emitting light and music.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Mar 7

Do you need to repair things? Important disclaimer: I’m talking about clothes not relationships here. If it is clothes then StitchBond is the perfect tool for you, if it is relationships then you’ll have to go and talk to somebody else. splatterjacket.com/2026/03/Stit...

The back pocket of a pair of trousers is in view, on top of it is a bobbin of thread, 3. Buttons, and a stick which says StitchBond on it. One end of the stick has a needle and the thread from the bobbin is going through this, at the other end of the stick some glue is coming out of a nozzle.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Feb 21

Do you want to hear music almost at the same time as you comb your hair? Of course you do, that’s why you need my combination Harmonica and Comb the HarmoComb as soon as possible. splatterjacket.com/2026/02/News...

A combination comb and harmonica is being held by a hand above a dresser.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Feb 14

Do you need news everywhere you go? I bet you look at your phone for such things, I don’t because I have my news built into my shirt. Get NewsWear today! splatterjacket.com/2026/02/News...

A man is standing on a train hanging on to a handle while holding a coffee cup in his other hand. On his shirt there is a screen showing breaking news.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Feb 7

Are you unable to ride a bike because you don’t know where you are going? That never happens to me because I have MapBike a bike with a built in automatic mapping, and it can even do the turning for you. Why don’t you have one? splatterjacket.com/2026/02/MapC...

A man is riding a bike down a path. The bike has a screen on the handlebars, a speech bubble is coming out of the screen showing what is on the screen and that is showing a map.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jan 31

Do you need to run away from, but stay in touch with somebody who is investigating your mine (or other thing you are wanting to run away from, but have to keep in touch with) then it sounds like you need ComuniJet. splatterjacket.com/2026/01/Comu...

A jet plane is flying through the sky. A thought bubble is coming out of the plane showing that inside is a man in front of several screens that show him communicating with people elsewhere.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jan 24

When you are vacuuming I assume you get ick on all over you! But I don’t because I use the world’s first combination vacuum cleaner and hand sanitiser. No mess, no fuss, with SanitiClean your house will be clean in exactly the same time, but you will be clean too! splatterjacket.com/2026/01/Sani...

A vacuum cleaner is cleaning a room which has quite a bit of dust in it. The vacuum has a hand sanitiser dispenser on it which you can access by pressing one of the many buttons on the handle.

Dr Splatterjacket@splatterjacket· Jan 17

What do you do when somebody not near you needs a bandage? Do you panic? Worry? Cry? Well I don’t because I use AeroPatch to deliver a bandage anywhere in the world by drone. I don’t know why you don’t have one? splatterjacket.com/2026/01/Aero...