$teven D. $chroeder 💰

@stevendschroeder

Author of three books, most recently Wikipedia Apocalyptica.

250 Following323 Followers226 Posts

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$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· 10d

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· 11d

LOL. Ah yes, beloved underdogs the Democrat establishment.

Inside the Wisconsin upset that shook the progressive left for a change

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· 12d

CNN framed El-Sayed's win as a "narrow victory" and Crowley's (even narrower) victory as "the Democratic establishment roars back."

Democratic establishment roars back as David Crowley clinches Wisconsin victory

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· 20d

Is the party's quandary that it's top-to-bottom scumbags?

Allegations against several GOP congressmen highlight the party’s quandary

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· May 23

It's Implied That Future Geordi Married the Woman Whose Hologram He Wanted to Fuck

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Feb 21

Drop a crush from your youth. (Still a crush, in all fairness.)

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Oct 29

I have multiple friends whose kids call me "Uncle Steve" even though we're not related AT ALL! I demand an investigation!

New York Post headline acting aghast that Mamdani would call his older cousin his aunt.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Oct 10

Lovely new South Dakota Review with three of my poems.

"Townsfolk mutter to one another" poem by Steven D. Schroeder

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Sep 11

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuu

New York Yankees hold moment of silence for conservative activist Charlie Kirk after his death

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Aug 14

I know quite a lot of music and am dedicated to discovering more, but reading Stereogum headlines is still an exercise in WTF hilarity.

FearDorian and osquinn Announces New Album Before You Press Play: Hear The Clairo-Sampling “bags”

Guitar Announce New Album We’re Headed To The Lake: Hear “Pizza For Everyone”

villagerrr – “Ride Or Die” (Feat. feeble little horse’s Lydia Slocum)

The Belair Lip Bombs Announce New Album Again: Hear “Hey You”

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Mar 16

Best Zionist American Poetry

Stacy Harwood-Lehman of Best American Poetry spreads right-wing disinformation about Mahmoud Khalil

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Mar 14

Me to a Democratic Party that can't even be bothered to resist.

"Then what the fuck do I need you for?" from Get Shorty

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Mar 14

The ease with which these cowards capitulate to evil is repulsive and unsurprising.

Chuck Schumer capitulating to Republicans

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Jan 16

One of my weird little fantasy/fairytale/fable prose poems got nominated for Best of the Net by Yalobusha Review! yr.olemiss.edu/piece/this-m...

Yalobusha Review nominations for Best of the Net, including my poem "This miniature city goes on its own"

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Nov 23

Maybe this? I dunno.

Official Statement

Video of the incident, edited,
almost obeyed our order, almost
made our story fit. A citizen—
no, criminal—was pacified
by multiple blunt instruments
of the state. Of course by mistake
in our hasty press release, justice
became just trust us. The system
remained utmost. The sole witness
investigators interrogated—
no, interviewed—didn’t see
what she saw or say what she said
she said. Any direct eye contact
caused us to lose the count
of who got lost. To stand up
was obstruction. To back away,
a credible threat. The subject—
no, suspect—didn’t look right
while jaywalking, then ran
for what he must have believed
was safety, so we saved him
from himself. When we searched
his person afterward, each pocket
hid a brick. In his hands, toy
resembled gun or perhaps the other
way around. In our hands, his life
amounted to vacant housing
taped off, his blood on blacktop
too dark to identify. In our minds,
the boy was not boy but man
and that man grew into monster
and that monster outnumbered us
less than a second before
we remembered our gun was more
than one too. The city was like that
when we found it—no, founded it—
no, foundered it. Once we met
the boy, he was already dead
though his body didn’t know yet.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Nov 15

I've been thinking about this poem from my most recent book. Bootlicking is such an American pastime.

Yes Men

The boss innovated the winning yes
one of us mentioned yesterday,
displayed our original yes in case
we misremembered our place,
insisted yes precede us at meetings,
expected nothing less than yes
plus half a pumpkin muffin on his desk
before he asked. Yes didn’t protest
lottery ticket Christmas bonuses.
Yes lacked the skill to assess
its lack of skills. Our aspiration
to be boss necessitated we yes
mandatory morale-boosting
posters of sharks and astronauts,
offices of increasing senselessness,
eyeglass-like devices to microanalyze
our voice and posture, access control
systems based on genetic tests.
Yes didn’t resist being piled high
to bypass all walls. Yes expanded to fill
time available. In lawsuits, the boss
suggested that we testify yes
was safe if ingested, was fine
containing greater than trace amounts
of asbestos and lead, was normal
despite paralysis in lab mice, made sense
classified as a recyclable instead
of medical waste. Yes didn’t question
messaging new history into existence.
Yes adjusted its answers as it guessed
the experiment’s goal. The boss
passed on the title of boss
to the boss, so yes reassessed its use
for us, rightsized the workforce
right in our faces, transitioned us
into a basketball trashcan, promoted
our emasculating nicknames
with a press release. Yes was not
the boss, yet yes was also not
not the boss. At last, yes advanced
to its level of incompetence.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· May 15

Bernie Sanders meme: I am once again asking professors not to have undergrads send poems to journals for class

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Jan 7

American media tie themselves in linguistic knots to avoid saying "Israelis killed a 3-year-old" in the same way they do with American cops.

CNN story about Israelis killing a 3-year-old that scrupulously avoids phrasing it that way.

New York Times story about police shooting protesters that scrupulously avoids phrasing it that way.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Dec 23

I love how many atmospheric black metal album covers are basically folk album covers with crazy-ass font choices.

Black metal album cover: Eldamar, The Force of the Ancient Land

Black metal album cover: Fathomage, Autumn's Dawn, Winter's Darkness

Black metal album cover: Yfel, Beneath the Mountain's Vigil

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Dec 8

Can you even imagine being this much of a sweaty tryhard loser?

Elon Musk posting a meme of himself pretending people are mad at him because he's speaking truth to power.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Nov 26

"Of Late" by George Starbuck www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazi...

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Oct 19

Congratulations on one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said, and also on that time you helped cover up sexual abuse at Ohio State.

Twitter post by Jim Jordan: No American should accost another for their beliefs.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Oct 13

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Oct 2

Modified the dealership sticker into a helpful information label so people will know what I'm driving.

A car with a rear CARMAX sticker modified to say CAR

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Sep 5

Sicario (2015)

Many dirt lanes of vehicles desperately trying to escape Burning Man

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Aug 9

The reason I don't earn a living making art is because the best thing about art in a late capitalist hellscape is it doesn't have to be commerce. I'm a very good writer and make a living quite comfortably with that skill.

Screenshot of tweet saying "Have you considered that the reason you can't earn a living making art isn't because you live in a "late capitalist hellscape," but is rather because you have no discernible talent and have chosen to blame capitalism as a coping mechanism?"

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Aug 4

No offense to the poets involved, but if a journal with zero web presence and zero social presence pops up with an issue #1 contributor list like this, proceed with extreme skepticism about how they selected those poems.

Issue #1 contributor list for Revel: A Journal of Poetry

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Aug 2

Please understand that producing any poetry of value with AI requires a tremendous amount of careful work.

ChatGPT produces a terrible poem in response to a prompt and can't even correctly say how many lines it has.

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Jul 27

Just so we're clear, these three "controversial" moments are clearly 3-0 in favor of Sinead. RIP. Fuck Andrew Dice Clay, Frank Sinatra, and the Catholic Church coverup.

CNN account of Sinead O'Connor "controversial" incidents

$teven D. $chroeder 💰@stevendschroeder· Jul 20

This was 10 years ago. Damn, it was fun!