I got that big bacon energy today, how about you?

Back on my bullshit *eating beer battered fried cheese curds and avoiding work

How can something be bad if it’s also so good?

I was just trying to make a little jokey joke, but thank you karma for reminding me that you’re always lurking…

if my vibes were made into an album, the cover would be this

Sorry Sir, but I prefer my tomatoes relaxed to the max.

100 bottles of hot sauce on the wall 100 bottles of sauce Take one down, Splash it in the eyes of your enemies, 99 bottles of hot sauce on the wall.

I gotta break apart my own mini wheats now?!? This is getting out of control.

I love when my fragile packages look like they’ve been delivered by Ace Ventura.

If there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.

I’m having a bit of a weird day.

Yesterday at market some dude came up to me and gave me some Beer battered deep fried cheese curds, and everyone needs to be start being more like that dude.

Who wants to come to my next dinner party?

Say hello to my little friend.

When you’re friends with cheese makers you get to try experimental new wheels before they sell them to the public

Might fuck around and eat some random shit I found in the woods.

So long tropical paradise.

If you wanna be sexting with me you better be dropping photos like this in the chat:

I know a stiff peak when I see one 😏

Never let them know your next move.

Become ungovernable

All you really need to know about me is that I carry this around in my wallet just incase.