It was Dave Cockrum's dream job to draw the Legion of Super-Heroes, but when DC refused to return his pages he quit the book. At Marvel he created the Shi'Ar Imperial Guard both in tribute to his faves and to show them getting clobbered by the X-Men. Not really a take, I just wanted to mention it.

Marvel/Star Wars: in this epic crossover event, Disney presents a sign to start taking money out of the bank and putting it under your mattress. Make that PROUDLY presents!

You won't like what I have to show you.

52. DREAM EATER 📽️🍿 I used to think that found footage horror, despite its many standouts, was the worst genre by the sheer number of cheap, lazy, and cynical movies made to ape those better entries. Here's the truth: possession movies are worse.

51. MARSHMALLOW 📽🍿 So is every horror movie going to be like this now? Droning, bloodless, lifeless mystery box bullshit? I have to hope not.

50. WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE 📽🍿 Goes without saying that this one tops most of the sequels, but I have to admit the thread about Heather's parental anxieties compels me more than the movie stuff. Some very effective Freddy moments here.

49. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE 📽🍿 Much more enjoyable than the worst Halloween or Jason, but when the guy starts bouncing around with boing boing sound effects...yeah, this is the worst it's ever been.

48. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD 📽🍿 I'm staunchly pro-choice but if Freddy were after us I'd ask Alice to think about abortion just a little longer. Maybe sleep on it? Oh--

47. PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE 📽🍿 Perfect movie, but you knew that.

46. UNCLE SAM 📽🎬 I like this goofy movie a little more every year; the awful kid remains the albatross around its neck, but Uncle Sam's well-made with some juicy themes. If only the slashing were a little more exciting...

45. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 📽🍿 It's not a bad question, Burt!

44. STRAYS Groverhaus comes under siege by no more than ten cats; can Busfield bum a ride home in time to save his wife and their repulsive child from the furry fiends? Cujo with more cats and just as much infidelity. It's the secret sauce.

43. POLICE STORY 4: FIRST STRIKE As much a Police Story movie as a seal is a shark, but who cares. Feels like Jackie and his team saw Goldeneye and said "that looks fun!" Love those goons in the hockey masks and white capes, very GI Joe.

42. THE DEVIL'S REJECTS 📽🍿 Won't begrudge anyone who doesn't like this--it's vile--but I can't abide anyone who says it's bad. It takes serious chops to make such a nasty film watchable! I loved it.

41. RUMBLE IN THE BRONX Brings me no pleasure to report that this didn't thrill me. That hovercraft chase is unreal, but it feels like it came out of a different film. Same shaggy vibe as Police Story 2, hopping from plot to plot while never being that charming. Maybe the US cut tightens things up?

40. THE FURIOUS If you like seeing people get hit with hammers...run, don't walk! For fifteen years the rule has been: if it's got someone from The Raid, it's worth seeing. How happy I am to say that's still true after all this time!

39. FEAR William Petersen was the coolest guy in the world for like three years and then immediately morphed into a dad. Some excellent dad fits, here. Decent thriller that becomes a total hoot by the time Marky Mark assembles his Portland Masters of Evil to do siege.

It's really funny how Jason Universe needed to show something to seem legit, and they didn't have anything, so they spat up some AI muck and now Jason has to look like this forever. His mask has angry eyes.

38. THE BEYOND 🍿📽 Gives the audience even less to hang their hat on than the other two entries in the trilogy, which is impressive. Pure images, mood, and tone; like all Fulci films it'll take another viewing to unlock for me. That headshot, though, holy shit.

37. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN 12:45 AM...going back for more LxG

36. BACKROOMS Great atmosphere, great scares, great look--I love the faux '90s I Spy vibes--but the big emotional scene doesn't land. Worth chewing on, though! Thank you for shooting the found footage parts on tape, young Parsons.

BLOOBER TEAM ?!

35. THE MANGLER 📽🍿 I'm loathe to spend $4 on a digital rental, but sometimes that saves me $50 down the line. No fancy 4k restoration can improve this one, which shows such promise but ends up the wrong kind of ridiculous. It's a full hour between the first mangling and the second; what the hell!

34. THE AMITYVILLE HORROR 📽🍿 Better than the original, but so's a root canal. This isn't exactly bad, just very thin. Starting to think there isn't much meat on this Amityville bone...

33. OBSESSION 📽🍿 I'll never love the murky shadows/shallow depth of field look that modern horror does, but damn if this one didn't use it well. Real scary! Lingers on images other movies would cut from and vice versa, keeping things constantly creepy and off-kilter. Some very upsetting faces!

32. THE SLEEPING CAR 📽🍿 Aptly-named: it sure as hell put me to sleep.

31. CENSOR 📽🍿 Dumb. Worse, obvious from minute one. Any movie that tries to say something about a specific moment in film history--here, early '80s horror--but can't be assed to faithfully pastiche it isn't worth your time or mine.

30. ROYAL WARRIORS 🎥 🍿 No plot, just a series of cool locations and the absolute sickest execution of those "what if I had to kick everybody's ass right here and now?" daydreams.