kayfabe jones

@theliesofbryan

Interested in words. Neurodiversity. Kindness. Creativity. Owned by a cat. Late diagnosed autistic. AEW fan. They/them. "Fix your hearts or die."

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kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jun 11

semi-sentient in some cases 🤭

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side on a greyish blue carpet. he's showing off his very white belly and bunnying his front paws. his eyes have no thoughts behind them

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· May 18

very large bedbug detected #cat

a serious-looking tuxedo cat with a very pink wee nose is sitting on top of a red and cream duvet. curtains behind him are showing twilight and he's staring at his human, who is holding the camera while occupying the bed

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Apr 29

him, too

a tuxedo cat sits nicely on a kitchen counter above a washing machine. the kitchen colour scheme is cream and brown, and the cat's expression is slightly pensive

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Apr 25

bigfoot sighted #cats #caturday

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side atop a red and cream human bed duvet. the pink toe beans on his back legs are nearest the camera. they be big feet

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Apr 19

bought a new office chair so that ozzy could have the old one full time this is the 1st time he's acknowledged it in 2 years #cats

a large tuxedo cat is sitting on a weathered-looking office chair. his white front paws are politely crossed and his facial expression suggests total innocence

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Apr 10

tuxedo #cat needs help with his tie

a large tuxedo cat is lying on a red and cream duvet. a brighter red tie is poking out from underneath his side. the cat's green eyes are looking up at the camera. his tie tying skills need a lot of work

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Mar 14

he was here a minute ago

a human's unmade bed. no large tuxedo cat can easily be seen crouching under the sheets

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jan 30

the wee black number in question:

a very evil cat with a red collar stands on top of a wooden fence

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Nov 29

this #Caturday, ozzy is protecting us at our most vulnerable

a large tuxedo cat is lying on a light brown hallway carpet with his white front paws stretched out in front of him. behind him is an open bathroom door, with the lower part of a radiator and toilet slightly visibe

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Nov 6

this picture is several years old. still haven't found ozzy

a red and cream patterned duvet is folded down on a human's bed. detailed forensic analysis has revealed a white cat snoot and pink nose emerging from under the folded duvet

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Oct 20

large tuxedo roadblock

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side. in the doorway of my bedroom.he's looking at us like a judge

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Oct 15

extract from interview, explaining chris candido's actual cause of death. according to his brother, he was incorrectly prescribed a sleep aid after surgery. this slowed his breathing, causing his lungs to fill with fluid. this was verified during chris's autopsy

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Oct 1

gone into business for himself

a large tuxedo cat sits in a leather office chair. his white front paws are folded neatly in front of him

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Aug 20

pre-show pint no 2 and view #AEWDynamite 🤼

view from the skyline bar. overlooking the river clyde on a very nice day. the bbc and stv studios are on the other side of the river. and a large industrial crane stands on the near bank

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Aug 20

pre-show pint and tunes #AEWDynamite 🤼

a pint glass of fosters lager sitting on a heineken bar mat. there's a jack daniels bar mat just behind it and a darkened bar in the background

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Aug 17

furiously lazy

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side on a blue-grey carpet. he's looking at the camera in an annoyed fashion

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Aug 8

heard it's international #cat day sadly. i only have a shrimp

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side on a blue-grey carpet. the lower part of a tv stand is visible in the background. the cat is showing off his white belly, and his shrimp impression

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jul 17

ozzy is trying out mewd lighting #cats

a large tuxedo cat is sitting on a white upvc windowsill. it's still light outside but late in the day. we can see green grass and wet tarmac. the cat is half illuminated and half in shadow. his expression is basically vacant

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jul 10

ozzy was a rescue. his previous human died. don't know anything about them the poor wee man is terrified whenever anyone knocks the door. and he has this scar on his nose he has stories. but will never tell. and that's okay by me

very close up on a tuxedo cat's face. there's a prominent scar on the side of his nose

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jun 14

this #Caturday, ozzy is openly defying health and safety rules

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side on a cream, grey and black striped carpet. one back leg is stretched out straight and his tail is hazardously wrapped around the wheel of a nearby black office chair. he's looking off to the left, oblivious to the peril

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Jun 7

caught a shrimp #Caturday

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side on a cream, grey and black striped carpet. his front paws are tucked into his belly and his back legs are stretched out. kind of like a shrimp

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· May 27

still stand by this. but tna and aaa are now interchangeable

quote repost of myself from January 17 2025. a message to tna. you might not know it yet. but trust me. you're dead (and i know you've heard it all before. but you never signed that contract before)

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· May 24

a large tuxedo cat is sitting up on a dark brown kitchen counter. there's a cream and brown tiled splashback in the background, cupboards above his head and a washing machine below. the cat's eyes are pale green and utterly empty

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· May 16

ozzy had a thought once. but he forgot it #cats

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· May 11

do you think he's a bit. y'know

a large tuxedo cat is lying on his side atop a blue-grey carpet. he's looking off to the side and camping it up with one of his front paws

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Apr 1

sorry. no pet found here

a tuxedo cat has definitely not pulled a duvet off his human's bed and wrapped it around himself. the duvet is red and white. also the tuxedo cat looks mad. luckily he's not actually there

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Mar 30

ozzy was once a great warrior. or possibly walked into a door

close up on a tuxedo cat's face. there's an old scar on his nose. in the background is a human's torso in a nine inch nails t-shirt

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Mar 25

ozzy been saying this

a tuxedo cat's head is hanging off the side of a black office chair. there's a pale cream wall in the background. we can also see a red lampshade and a brown and cream picture of a potted plant. the cat's expression suggests we've been operating black office chairs incorrectly

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Mar 21

close up on a brown and white horse wearing a pink bridle and a baby blue "happy birthday" hat

kayfabe jones@theliesofbryan· Mar 4

my CATE has found me to be non-essential. and i am now locked out of my home well. good luck opening that can you little shit