Human says I’m “like as big as the trampoline.”

This my house. Not your house.

They’re here.

What do you think, Bluesky friends?! a. It’s the same picture. b. Human is off her head.

Human says I’m look like Jimothy.

Human says this is a “trampoline,” not a bed. I say anything is a bed if you make it so.

Human poked my belly and said “woohoo!” She says I’m too young to get the reference.

Human says I’m too chipper in the mornings.

If you are looking for an explanation, unfortunately there is none.

It’s almost 2 a.m. time to play tag with the ghosts. Funzies!

Human washed these towels and hung them to dry. I already pulled one to the ground. Fun!

Happy Human’s Day to my human even though she’s annoying

You ever forget to put your tongue all the way back in?

I’m press against Human when she gets the anxious. Am therapy cat. Is anyone else’s Human crazy?

Human says I’m a “warm bag of pudding.”

Hello yes I would like something excuse me

Human said her leaving the house and coming back doesn’t mean I get “Dinner: Part II.” What a bitch.

This is mine.

Hi guys.

PSA: The first one isn’t me.

Human said she couldn’t get my poop to go down the toilet. That it kept “floating back up,” whatever that means.

I’m found this box. Am safe in it.

Am warm. Am here.

This is game. Are youm ready to play?

I’m have figured out a way to use both pillows at once. Am smart.

I can stare back for as long as you want to keep this going.

What?

I regret to inform you that I, Theo, am taking absolutely no questions at this time.

I’m miss Grandhuman always defending me from Human. RIP Grandhuman.

Human told me my full legal name is: First: Theo Middle: TheoBoBeo Last: BananaFanaFoFeo