I sure hope my wife never finds out I married way above my league.
Go Cubs
Ducks are awesome. Imagine if your body was a paddle boat.
This penguins name is Dave
When I am trying to impress my wife I do my
I’m going to a gala tonight and I think I clean up nice
Were going to need a bigger bar
I like that the photo’s vantage point is someone crawling under the stall at a Taco Bell
Fuck yeah. Time to go swimming and do water slides.
The fireflies are out tonight
The Pixar Lamp’s early acting credit
My dumbass brain: oh it’s a jug of ADHD
The electrician planning the light switches in my hotel room:
97% humidity and a full moon. The werewolves’ hair is going to look ridiculous.
Well well well look what I found: My childhood.
GM ☀️ saw forest dogs on my morning walk
Italian detected. Not Little Caesarean.
Our office has a new coworker named Butter and I told HR his tiny kisses aren’t against policy
A helpful and totally accurate 2026 age chart.
Fuck yeah we are making music for Father’s Day
First Buc-ee’s experience. This place is insane.
Good morning ☀️ this is Penny and she needed to bark at the scary things outside this morning
There is something geometrically pleasing running on country roads.
Just thinking puppy thoughts
