Tim Kimber

@timkimber

Sub-editor by day. Author by night. Dead by dawn. I collect records, build furniture, and read books.

443 Following1,081 Followers2,199 Posts

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Tim Kimber@timkimber· 11d

Weirdly, the table has Villa above the teams with 4, but apparently with 3

Tim Kimber@timkimber· 21d

Fitzgerald eat your heart out 🥲

A bag of adult dog food sits on the pavement. Upon masking tape stuck to the front are the ominous words: "FREE no longer needed"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· 27d

"And Tiny Tim, who was not a horse,..."

Muppet Charles Dickens in the Muppets Christmas Carol turns to the camera to relay important information to the audience

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 27

Two English pounds and ninety nine English pence Don't tell me there aren't still bargains out there

The Crusaders double LP 'Southern Comfort', with a sale sticker that says £2.99

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 25

Happy #worldvitiligoday from me and the missus. Big love to you all x

Close crop image of a south Asian woman's eye and cheek, her skin beautifully flecked with patches of vitiligo. Her eyes are smiling.

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 23

Truer words were never spoken

A white t-shirt with red gothic writing that reads John 19:90, and then the lyrics of John Barnes' rap from World In Motion

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 19

Posts AI slop, is informed, apologises, but won't delete because... what? He wants it to be true? Absolute insta-block

Tony Parry posts a screengrab of a tweet with an AI generated image of an Iranian football player at the World Cup holding up a pink school rucksack, supposedly in tribute to schoolgirls murdered by US strikes during the war

Tony says in a vastly less viewed reply: "Apologies, this is an AI generated image and DIDN'T happen.

However I won't delete as a tribute was paid by Iranian players wearing gold pins and it gets an important message across about the indiscriminate bombing of Iran"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 9

Lol, I guess the Knicks lost

Bluesky posts all say variations of "Trump's fault" approximately 2 hours ago, around the time the third game of the NBA finals ended

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 6

You'd never guess where the terminally stupid idea to directly mock the victims of a pro-democracy massacre came from... www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...

There was also a problem with a slogan the Starbuck campaign used: “thwack on the desk”. It echoed a notorious cover story used by police after the 1987 torture death of student activist Park Jong-chul. Authorities at the time initially claimed Park died because an officer had used his fist to “hit the desk with a thwack”.

(Picture of Activists protesting Starbucks hold placards)

Marketers chose the slogan after consulting an AI tool, looking for suggestions, Shinsegae Group said. It turned out some managers who approved the campaign never opened the email attachments showing the marketing material.

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 3

This is basically advertorial

Headline reads: "Guardian Media Group announces strategic partnership with OpenAI"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 1

Weekend garden project, building this planter to grow vegetables #diy

A tall planter made of treated timber sits on the decking in the back garden next to a drill and a hammer

The inside of a tall planter made of treated timber, lined with blue plastic

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 1

Read this about arrests made at the Arsenal parade and then read the headline sitting beside it…

The headline "‘Arsenal have embraced everyone’: trophy parade a celebration of a community" sits next to report that says "The Metropolitan police said 16 arrests had been made in the area around the parade as of 9pm on Sunday.

"The force said arrests had been made on charges including drunk and disorderly behaviour, drug offences, sexual assault and assaulting emergency workers.

"Officers were called to the scene of a stabbing on Hornsey Road just after 8.30pm and responded with paramedics and the air ambulance.

"A man has been taken to hospital where his condition will be assessed, the force said."

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Jun 1

Jack

A bengal cat on a shed roof leaning over the edge to sniff the person behind the camera

Tim Kimber@timkimber· May 26

#nowplaying Skalpel, Konfusion (2005, Ninja Tunes)

The LP of Skalpel's nu jazz album Konfusion from Ninja Tunes.

Tim Kimber@timkimber· May 23

Star Trek: The Next Generation title card, with the episode name "Hoisted By His Own Picard"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· May 22

Been trying to find something – anything – that Co-pilot can help me with. Decided I wanted to make a spreadsheet of Premier League season results. It suggested providing the data in blocks, alphabetically (because it was too much data). Fine. But when it was done, I noticed Newcastle was missing…

Co-pilot transcript:

Me: If you missed Newcastle – a pretty big club – how can I be sure the rest of the information is accurate?

Co-pilot: You’re right to challenge that — missing Newcastle is a big miss, and you deserve a straight, confidence‑building answer, not hand‑waving.
Here’s the truth, clearly and without defensiveness:
1. The mistake wasn’t in the data, it was in the selection
The Premier League tables I generated for each alphabetical block were accurate for the clubs included in those blocks.
The error was that Newcastle United wasn’t included in the G–M block, even though alphabetically it belongs there. That’s a coverage mistake, not a data accuracy mistake.
Once you pointed it out, I generated Newcastle’s full row — and it matches the historical record.

Tim Kimber@timkimber· May 18

"Hey, you got that slogan for my tech venture capital firm ready?" "Sure did boss, really fucking ominous, just like you asked" a16z.com

The slogan for tech investment firm Andreessen Horowitz bafflingly claims "Software Is Eating the World"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· May 8

The Reform candidate arrives at the polling station

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Apr 30

Quote with a photo you've taken of some public art

An enormous sculpture of a salt beef sandwich mounted on the wall of a Chicago diner

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Apr 27

Truly inspired character name for a news anchor on a puppet show

Soon, bombs are dropped into volcanoes all around the world, which create giant thick black clouds that cover the entire planet. Earl thinks the clouds will create rain, but the rest of the Sinclair family at their house doubts that it will happen. On the news, news anchorman, Howard Handupme reports that the clouds are blocking off the sun and causing global temperatures to drop precipitously. Earl tries to stay positive, claiming that the sun will come out and melt the snow which will bring back the plants. But Howard reports that due to the thickness of the clouds, scientists have predicted that it will be tens of thousands of years before the sun shines over Pangaea again, thus beginning the Ice Age

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Apr 16

Oh Fatih, you don't need to do that, you don't need to make a strait joke, just tell us if we can fly to Mallorca in June or not

Fatih Birol, the executive director of the International Energy Agency, speaking about impending jet fuel shortages thanks to the war in Iran, says: “In the past there was a group called Dire Straits. It’s a dire strait now, and it is going to have major implications for the global economy. And the longer it goes, the worse it will be for the economic growth and inflation around the world.”

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Apr 10

I made this to quote repost you, but they're disabled...

John Spartan from Demolition Man with a speech bubble below him at the moment he discovers he's a seamstress

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Apr 8

Tonight's movie – a perfect film if you remove every creepy face stroke

Face/Off on Blu Ray with the faces of John Travolta and Nicholas Cage on the cover

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 31

Chicago lightning

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 31

In Chicago, exploring the giant shiny bean, aka Cloud Gate, and had no idea the absolute filth of this thing seen from underneath

Could Gate, a giant reflective bean in the middle of Down Town Chicago

The view of Cloud Gate from underneath, revealing the overtly sexual, reflective orifice and cheeks of infinity

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 25

My kid, seeing this announcement 😅

Fry from Futurama holding out a wad of cash, with the caption "Shut up and take my parents' money"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 23

Does anyone else get served these "drink olive oil" ads? In what reality are peopling guzzling olive oil straight from the bottle, on their wedding day no less? What is happening? Why am I a target for Big Olive Oil?

A woman drinking olive oil with the caption: "Doctors Reveal: If You Drink Olive Oil Every Day After 50, This is…"

Another woman, apparently on her wedding day, drinking olive oil with the caption: "Doctors Reveal: If You Drink Olive Oil Every Day After 50…"

Yet another woman drinking olive oil, this time at the seaside, with the same caption: "Doctors Reveal: If You Drink Olive Oil Every Day After 50, This is…"

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 22

Spurs play today

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 18

"Billy, you are dealing with the oddities of physical media with the greatest of ease!"

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure on Blu Ray

Tim Kimber@timkimber· Mar 16

Ring (1998), Dir: Hideo Nakata