Ted Masthay
@tmasthay
I like the Columbus Crew and my wife. And my kids. I live in Pennsylvania, so please excuse my political narcissism.
It’s honesty impressive that Mbappe has forged this reputation for France as a cuddly nice guy who is a great captain when this is how he’s known during the other 3 years & 11 months of every WC cycle because he’s basically the biggest locker room cancer of all time.
Over there*, soccer expert BoneDaddyLDBB just ended an @acesradio.bsky.social debate. @tokenliberal.bsky.social is a confirmed millennial. How dare he call certified capo boy @morganhughes.bsky.social cringe though. Does the elderly Shaq avatar know that Morgan will kill you?
If you are shocked at a lack of official action on this, then I have several thousand bridges to sell you.
Ah, yes. Finally, in the year of our lord two thousand twenty-six, Republicans are going to just now begin to call Democrats communists. That’s never happened until now.
If Canadians are happy with Caleb Porter being their coach, more power to them. #Crew96
Name a TV show you’re positive no one remembers but you. And it’s a got dang tragedy it was canceled.
I’m not even a Canes fan, but the Knicks winning last night plus Vegas being evil has me in this situation currently. #CanesInSix
Issa Tall watching these Paraguayan CBs just stand around while the game is happening around them #Crew96
Need I remind you that you authored the greatest post in the history of twitter dot com?
I mean, you have to assume this is because that intl spot will be used on a CB….but boy oh boy have I thought that 1000x during the Tall Regime and not once has it been true. A bit bummed to see him go. #Crew96
There is more football heritage in Commerce City, CO than all the British Isles.
First of all, 84° just simply isn’t dangerous heat? Secondly, like you point out in your article that the places where it gets hot literally have AC! Honestly, Kansas City is the only site that’s likely to have oppressive temps. But also, it might not.
Not even @acesradio.bsky.social would stoop this low. #Crew96 #DontListenToACESRadio
Two things can be true: 1. My wife knows I’ll never leave her because I am a loyal Cincinnati Reds fan. 2. Being a Reds fan is prima facie evidence that I’m dumb and hate joy.
With global democracy balancing on a knife’s edge, the world needed two of these at this time 🙏 thank you for your service
It’s honestly pretty funny that this, of all things, is one of the surest fire signs that you’re a member of cult led by *Donald Trump*
Great coaches over-perform with subpar rosters all the time, all over the world. Henrik Rydstrom *dramatically* underperformed with a middling roster. He made everyone worse. The lonely hill I will die on is that Nancy was far, far more integral to recent #Crew96 success than Bez.
Trick question: that’s because it’s impossible for the #Crew96 to play the worst team in MLS on the road.
Because I am a bad father and a poor financial steward, I have for the second time this week taken one of my kids to watch Henrik Rydstrom’s Columbus #Crew96 in person. This time in Chester, PA. #ColumbusTilWeDie
The NHL has its faults for sure, but by god they will kill you if you break the rules. Good for them. Torts is such a clown.
Here to create some generational trauma for my daughter by paying US currency to watch Henrik Rydstrom’s Columbus #Crew96 on a Wednesday night in Harrison, NJ. #ColumbusTilWeDie
Not enough “Anthony Precourt probably likes golden showers and is making it everyone else’s problem” energy for me.