Oracular Bubba

@trasgomorph

shitpostmodernist. aspiring vermispex. writing at CASCADE CASCADE, Hipsters of the Coast, Cool Stuff Inc.

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Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· 21d

Absolute mark for any and all Nekrataal variants. This guy, like Faller’s Faithful, is a great design.

Magic card named “Azog, Moria’s Ruin,” depicting a nasty armored goblin swinging a cleaver.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· 24d

hahahaha GOT my ass and got my ass upgrading my BowBows for the second time

A Magic card called “Orcish Bowmasters,” which depicts two guerrilla- and gorilla-like Orcs clad in greenery with massive tusks aiming bows at the “camera.” It’s a Ron Spencer piece, so you KNOW they have lurid green and purple highlights.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· 25d

Guessing we enjoyed this cameo from the panel this afternoon:

A Nightstalker, a monster from Magic: The Gathering

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· 28d

this popped into my head this week and I had to exorcise it by spreading the misery.

Scotty (PSH) from “Boogie Nights” sobbing in his car, but he’s saying “I’m a chud” instead of “I’m an idiot.”

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· 29d

Me learning that Psychatog, a card I saved up for in high school, is $10 a copy again:

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Jul 7

power levels increased to maximum after a) Professor Boosty-ing our way through a box of Strixhaven and recharging under the Hoot’s bi lighting and b) being the only one awake during last night’s window-rattling, strobe-lightning thunderstorm.

The poster, a fat beardo in an antifacist Moomintroll t-shirt and light purple baseball cap, stands at a mirror. His phone is shattered. His visage is stern but distant. His nasal structure is that of a benevolent god.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Jun 29

Spent the weekend in fucken Charleston, where our car was totaled & towed off while we were prepping for a wedding. Not ideal, particularly when you have a toddler. We’re fully insured & safe, so it’s luckily just a series of nested nuisances, but Magic with the boys hit double-plus hard.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Jun 25

environmental storytelling

A booth at an upscale bistro, littered with thick-walled glasses and cloth napkins. In the center, a pantless baby doll. It looks like a still life from Bioshock 3: Charleston Upcharge

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 21

Went to a tacky Renaissance Faire with a tacky menagerie and paid $15 to get my hands on a crocodile.

The poster, a fat bearded man who looks like Ignatius J. Reilly had Instagram, is holding a crocodile with its snout taped shut, which was not his doing. He looks delighted; the croc looks torpid as hell.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 21

A Normal number from a Normal township

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 20

Was truly not expecting the first entry on Wikipedia’s “List of diss tracks” page.

A screenshot of Wikipedia that claims the first diss track was Qu Yuan’s “Li Sao” in the year 300 BCE.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 18

me, researching how to make a homunculus:

Screenshot of a maps app, directing the user to “Genesis of Cumming” car dealership

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 15

He looks like Bob Odenkirk in the “No Adults Allowed” sketch

The icon, Bob Odenkirk, in a bad wig and a worse beard. He’s holding a beach ball and the text says “KENNY AGE 14” in Nickelodeon-ass font.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 14

folks, it’s the Carmogoyf

Carmela Mina Bockman, a Siamese mix, is standing in the midst of a bouquet. She looks beautiful and empty-skulled, which is accurate.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· May 1

Critchlovian Phyrexians (and Chippy Phyrexians) are the best Phyrexians. Card: Phyrexian Monitor, illus. Carl Critchlow from Urza’s Destiny AD: Ron Spears

Dark art of an eyeless creature in a leather hood and apron with a distended jaw full of croggled oversized teeth. Pipes jut from its back. It is surrounded by various gray-and-blue-toned monsters, all beaks and fangs and warped flesh. It rules.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Apr 30

Elegant spring beer night!

A can of Bevi Bene’s Adriatic Lumiere beer.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Apr 28

madly in love with the baddie zappy zaddy and how he exhumes the eye

The “David Lynch claims Eraserhead is his most spiritual film” quote, but it’s been edited shitpost-style to be Ral Zarek talking about Abhorrent Oculus. Look, man, I don’t know, sometimes social media is about self-exorcism rather than self-expression.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Apr 27

yeh im practically cumming alright

The Magic card “Germination Practicum” with a reasonable board state that becomes obscene with Germination Practicum

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Apr 19

you really don’t realize how much glow-in-the-dark shit you have on until you go in the biergarten bathroom.

user @trasgomorph, a fat bespectacled man with a beard, is standing in the bathroom at Craft &Draft. His skeleton t-shirt and fingernails are glowing in the dim light. He looks great

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Mar 31

This is Hermes (bad)

A tabby cat is licking his chops after eating strawberries that were for the baby. He is clearly a menace.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Mar 30

Spriggan is dead, long live The Sprig

A Magic board state with a ragged fluffy cat displayed, a forearm with a matched tattoo next to it. It’s Spriggan, the original, Shutup Poopcat himself.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Mar 26

once again: it is that time of year

A school bus, labeled “Good Intentions Paving Company,” absolutely t-boning a purple bus labeled “My Shit.” The implication is that the Joanna Newsom song periodically wrecks the poster’s Shit.

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Mar 24

honor the old gods and keep holy their feast days

Bathroom graffiti of “M.C. Peepants,” the spider in a diaper and shower cap voiced by mc chris

Oracular Bubba@trasgomorph· Mar 12

Living in S.C. is tough for the politics and associated issues, but also because it was 86 degrees Fahrenheit at 8:57 last night. Upside? The porch was covered in these little fuckers, eating the early bugs and licking their eyeballs.