twinfountain 🤌 (@twinfountain) · DIRTY

twinfountain 🤌

@twinfountain

He/him. PDX. Grumble, grumble.

455 Following260 Followers783 Posts

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twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· 4d

I want to see the hilarious results

a warning/request from the photo company:
Please, don’t wear green.
Our green screen lets you choose your background when you order your photos, but it also makes green clothes disappear.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· 4d

Just got an email about school picture day from a certain company

A still from the Simpsons of Lisa Simpson looking at concert tix with the caption: And for totally outrageous class rings, it's Josten's.
Go, Josten's!

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jul 18

Why do I keep hearing a plane? It's Portland Police.

Screenshot of the flight trail of a plane swirling over N/NE Portland Oregon. The plane is identified as being owned by the Portland Police Bureau

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jul 12

Hello, Glenda.

Screenshot of Oregon Plates post reading: The Custom Oregon Plate GLENDO was previously assigned, but is now available for reservation. https://dmv2u.oregon.gov/eServices/?link=custom #Oregon #LicensePlate #VanityPlate #OregonPlates #CustomPlate #GLENDO

Screenshot of post by Oregon Plates reading: The Custom Oregon Plate GLENDA was available, but is now reserved. https://dmv2u.oregon.gov/eServices/?link=custom #Oregon #LicensePlate #VanityPlate #OregonPlates #CustomPlate #GLENDA

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jun 9

Famed jizz singer Sy Snootles

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jun 1

post a poster you used to have in your room, apartment, or house.

Michael Jordan Wings poster depicting him arms outstretched, palming a basketball in his right hand. it was as wide as his wingspan.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· May 23

I saw this photo of a local burger recently, just for fun.

A party melt on inverted buns with the cheese arcing upward.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Feb 12

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jan 22

Frank and Mister are on the case.

Two cats standing in their back legs and looking out a window.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jan 14

You have a couple rough typos.

screenshot of newspaper. text reads: The Mercury obtained photos of the texts, which include racist, sexiest, and homophonic slurs used over the course of two hours.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Dec 25

FIRE.

A fire burns in a fireplace behind a screen.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Nov 21

A blond woman is holding a gyros and smiling. The text over her head reads GYROS.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Oct 30

Now watching: The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

Movie poster for The Hound of the Baskervilles featuring a red wolf head with glowing yellow eyes baring its teeth

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Oct 24

What did he thinks these guys were doing?

Shriners driving tiny cars

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Sep 21

It's a bummer that you can't specifically tell them why you're cancelling.

A Hulu cancellation confirmation email

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Sep 19

Misread this as you talking about the comic strip "Love is..."

A panel on the comic strip "love is..." It features two naked 8 year olds who are married. Text reads: love is... ...all you need

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jul 2

Lol my typo

An emptied (but for ice and orange peel) old fashioned glass and a Nick and Nora glass that recently contained a Manhattan, but has just lemon peel now.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jul 1

Woo! Garden lyfe

A small quantity of blueberries and some kind of beans.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jun 29

You couldn't make this today without someone thinking it's AI.

Cardboard sign reading Yard Sard written in black marker

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jun 9

Barbarella in partially see-through spacesuit costume

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· May 24

Howard Moon from THE MIGHTY BOOSH saying, "You hate jazz? You fear jazz! You fear the lack of rules"

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· May 5

[[Roast Beef staring at computer screen]] Dang man everybody wants to impeach George Bush and hate on him and spank him on the butt [[Roast Beef typing]] Well everyone has their price let's try this <<TAP TAP>>> Dear George Bush, As you know, everybody wants to spank you on the butt and hit you on the head. I have an idea. <<TAP TAP TAP>> America needs cash for the war. Wealthy people who can pay $20 million to fly into space would probably pay at least that much to give you a sharp one across the cheeks. <<TAP>> You could probably get a cool billion from Bill Gates if you let him play "why are you hitting yourself" with you. -Roast Beef. <<TAP TAP TAP TAP>> [[Roast Beef sticking tongue out and punching button on keyboard]] SELECT ALL <<TAP>> DELETE [[Empty computer chair where Roast Beef was sitting]]

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Apr 28

Yeah I read scripture

A chapter title page from a book that reads "Shall We Get High?"

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Apr 24

Handshake meme where one arm says cast iron skillet, the other arm arm says moka pot and the handshake says Don't wash me

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Apr 19

Suddenly this makes more sense.

Rob Liefeld art of Captain America where his torso is double thick in depth.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Mar 19

They came close with the pau'an, but didn't take advantage.

a pau'an from Star Wars. imagine if a bald Dracula slept on a corduroy pillow.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Feb 23

Peter Buck is still very cool.

Peter Buck playing guitar, being very cool.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Feb 15

A black cat named Mister Chief with his front arms/legs crossed.

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Feb 1

Where's the cell phone version of this?

Transparent 1990s corded phone where every part but the clear plastic shell is brightly colored

twinfountain 🤌@twinfountain· Jan 25

I'm worried about the Duolingo characters. Since I switched from Italian to Spanish last month (and they introduced their AI-"enhanced" Max version), they seem to be saying a lot of positive things about the app and its bird mascot. Getting culty.

Duolingo Spanish lesson translating "¡Me encanta Duolingo!" to "I love Duolingo!"