jack

@vesaldi

anxious ace and trans, the triple whammy • middle aged & proud • mostly proud illinoisan • come play the critically acclaimed final fantasy xiv with me • he/him •💉 8/27/15 wife guy to @lieutfaber.bsky.social 💍 11/14/24

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jack@vesaldi· 25d

GODDAMNIT DONUT

A post from Wario64: Final Fantasy XIV Mobile (Chinese Edition) ending on September 30th. Global version cancelled.

jack@vesaldi· 27d

me looking up this game and suddenly feeling very taunted

A list of Steam search results. They are, in order:

Catch Me
Catch Me!
Try to Catch Me!
Catch Me If You Can

jack@vesaldi· 29d

"Can you pet the dog?" is outdated. It's 2026. Now we need to ask if we can PAMPER the dog.

A screenshot from the Elder Scrolls Online showing a grey dog named Carso sitting on a blue and gold pillow. The cursor is on top of him, and there is a "Treat" option with a prompt to press E to throw.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 10

was checking the casting on the little house on the prairie adaptation netflix just released and i just really think some people should have chosen a dog instead of a child.

A screenshot of the IMDB casting for Mary Ingalls, who is played by a 14 year old girl named Skywalker Hughes.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 8

people were making choices at the grocery store today

A photo of several shelves filled with pre-packaged pre-cooked chicken. One wayward package of cannoli sits on top of a package of grilled chicken.

A photo of a bin full of sour candies. On top of the packages of candy, sitting photogenically in the corner, is a six pack of Corona beer.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 3

i have finally successfully trained her to be proactive when she's going to be late getting home from work, but

A discord conversation between me and Jess.

Jess says at 9:34pm: Not dead, also not out yet.
Me at 9:34pm: Weirdo.
Me at 9:55pm: Okay, are you sure you're not dead?

jack@vesaldi· Jul 2

Now for HB5492. This one is hmm b/c the 6 month supply thing everyone is excited about has an exception for controlled substances. That's why it's important to know whether HB4834 REALLY does remove it. It may not apply to T, since it also cites federal law. Full text: www.ilga.gov/Legislation/...

An individual or group policy of accident and health insurance amended, delivered, issued, or renewed in this State on or after January 1, 2028 shall provide coverage for up to a 6-month supply of prescription hormone therapy, and the necessary supplies for self-administration, that is prescribed by a provider within the provider's scope of practice and dispensed at one time for an enrollee by a provider or pharmacist, or at a location licensed or otherwise authorized to dispense drugs or supplies. If the prescription hormone therapy is a controlled substance, the policy shall provide coverage for the maximum supply allowed under State and federal law to be obtained at one time by the insured.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 2

For HB5095, on the surface nothing is changes b/c we've been able to do this for years. But now it's explicit in the statute which feels good. Also these parts made me happy - it gives trans people more privacy & stronger grounds to fight discrimination. Full text: www.ilga.gov/Legislation/...

The Secretary of State shall not require any additional question, documentation, support, certification, or verification to change a gender marker. The Secretary of State shall not require any documentation other than the gender designation form to confirm the sex or gender identity of the applicant.

The Secretary may not disclose or reveal the existence of any gender designation form unless directed to do so by an order of a court of competent jurisdiction.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 2

lmao i love this game it's so dumb (complimentary) suffice it to say, i went to jail

A screenshot from Erenshor showing the chat.

I say: fuck
Amara says: yikes!
Thane says: omg lolllll :)
Whisper from GM-Burgee: GM-Burgee here. Again. You want to say bad words? You're a big old meanie-face. How's it feel? Hurts, doesn't it? Hurts right in the feelings. Sorry I had to do that. Now you know, and now you have learned. This is your final warning. Your next offense will result in jail.

jack@vesaldi· Jul 1

I love it when we get to the "find out" stage.

A snippet of the article in the quoted post. The text reads:

In March, a Delaware judge ruled that Krafton must reinstate Gill and extend the earnout period for the bonus. In the ruling, the judge wrote that Krafton CEO Changhan Kim had consulted ChatGPT for advice on getting out of paying the bonus and that additional litigation over monetary damages would continue.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 27

I remember I got my first cell phone when I started college, because my mom INSISTED I have one for emergencies. I couldn't find that phone (I still have it somewhere) but I did find my first phone that had internet. It was my favorite. :D I still miss flip phones.

A red BlackBerry flip phone from the early late 2000's.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 25

Graphic Design Is My Passion: 2026 Video Game Edition

A screenshot from Final Fantasy XIV showing five tortillas on a hot griddle. Each tortilla has ten extremely distinct sides instead of being round, and they do not have tapered edges so they look more like spotted coasters.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 25

i am really enjoying watching the new guild wars players try the game out for the first time

A snippet of the Guild Wars local chat.

Player 1 says: I wanted to do my necro missions to unlock skills and now all of a sudden everything is burnt.

Player 2 says: Haha, don't worry about it. You can get all your skills.

Player 1 says: How da heck do I go back to the green stuff where I can unlock my necro skills

jack@vesaldi· Jun 25

I had to Google if it was free on mobile and indeed, it is.

Guild Wars Reforged Mobile FAQ
How much does Guild Wars Reforged cost on mobile?
The Guild Wars: Prophecies campaign is free-to-play on mobile.

Free-to-play accounts are restricted from accessing PvP and using chat. Free-to-play players will also see ads when moving between different maps and missions.

Players are able to purchase game packages that remove these restrictions and ads, as well as unlock the Guild Wars: Factions and Nightfall campaigns.

If you login with an existing ArenaNet game account that owns Guild Wars Reforged, you will not experience these restrictions or ads and will have access to all three campaigns.

Optional content (skins, bank expansions, additional character slots, etc.) is also available for purchase on mobile.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 24

i am still thinking about this. anyway, this is the recipe i use when i make burgers from scratch.

The recipe for the Archon Burger from The Ultimate Final Fantasy XIV Cookbook Volume 2. The ingredients are split into three categories: Onion Jam, Archon Sauce, Archon Burger.

The ingredients for the Onion Jam are 1 tablespoon olive oil, 4 sliced onions, 2 pinches of kosher salt, 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar, and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar.

The ingredients for the Archon Sauce are 1/4 cup mayonnaise, 2 tablespoons mustard, 2 tablespoons ketchup, 2 tablespoons tonkatsu sauce, and 2 teaspoons garlic powder.

The ingredients for the Archon Burger are 2 pounds ground beef, kashmiri chili powder for seasoning, kosher salt, vegetable oil for frying, and 8 slices of cheddar cheese.

For the onion jam, the steps are as follows:

1. In a deep pot, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and salt. Toss to coat in the olive oil. Allow to cook until the onions release their liquid, about 60 minutes.

2. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Let the onions cook for 1 to 2 hours, or until they have turned a deep brown color.

3. When the onions have reached a nice brown caramelization, add the brown sugar and balsamic vinegar. Toss until everything is well combined. Remove from the heat and set aside until you are ready to set up the burgers.

The recipe continues with the steps for the Archon Sauce.

1. In an airtight container, whisk the mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, tonkatsu sauce, and garlic powder. Can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

The recipe continues with the steps for the Archon Burger, and continues into the next image.

1. Split the ground beef into four equal portions. Each should be about 8 ounces. Shape each into a burger patty, making sure they are about 10 percent wider than the buns. Press your thumb in the center and make a slight indentation. This helps the burger from shrinking too much when cooking.

A continuation of the recipe for the Archon Burger from The Ultimate Final Fantasy XIV Cookbook Volume 2.

2. Generously season the top of the burger with Kashmiri chili powder and salt.

3. Heat a medium cast-iron pan over medium-high heat.

4. Pour a small amount of vegetable oil into the pan. Place one of the burger patties, seasoned side down, into the pan and lightly press it down to make sure all parts of the bottom are touching the pan. Generously season the other side of the burger with the Kashmiri chili powder and salt.

5. Allow to cook for 2 to 3 minutes, or until the bottom has become nicely golden brown and the sides are starting to brown.

6. Flip and cook for about 2 minutes before adding two slices of cheddar cheese. Cover and cook for another 2 minutes, checking the burger's temperature and cook until your desired doneness.

7. Transfer the burger to a wire rack and allow to rest for 8 minutes before placing on a bun.

8. Repeat steps 4 through 7 for the remaining patties.

Assembly:

1. With a bread knife, cut the buns in half.

2. In a medium nonstick pan, heat 1/2 tablespoon of butter over medium-high heat and allow to melt completely. Place a burger bun, cut side down, into the pan and rub it across the pan to absorb the butter. Toast the bun until golden brown, about 1 minute. Transfer to a place. Repeat this step for the remaining buns.

3. Generously spread the Archon Sauce on the toasted side of the bottom and top portions of the buns. Place several slices of pickles on the bottom half.

4. Top with the burger patty. Place a generous serving of the onion jam. Add the tomato and a few slices of iceberg lettuce. Finally, place the bun half on top. Serve immediately.

Next to the last part of the recipe is a screenshot of G'raha Tia holding a cheeseburger that is trying to escape from its bun.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 24

nice nice

jack@vesaldi· Jun 23

anyway, back to yoshi

A still image from the Super Mario Brother movie from 1993. Yoshi, the literal dinosaur for some reason, stands next to Princess Daisy who is crouched down next to him. Daisy is inspecting a chain around Yoshi's neck.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 23

YOSHI YOSHI YOSHI

A tiny tyrannosaurus-like dinosaur from the 1993 Super Mario Brothers movie that is, indeed, supposed to be the famous Yoshi.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 23

dennis hopper as koopa giving of big [redacted] vibes in a way i did not anticipate and do not appreciate (but think is very appropriate)

Dennis Hopper as King Koopa standing next to a goomba. Koopa looks like just a regular man, for some reason, in a black suit with a red tie. The goomba looks like a very large and tall man in a dark brown trench coat with a teeny tiny lizard-like head.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 23

look what they did to my boy toad D:

Toad from the Super Mario Brother movie, circa 1993. Toad is shown as a man in a collared jacket with an extremely tiny lizard-like head. He is smiling and has many very small but very sharp teeth, and looks like he has not a single brain cell in his tiny head.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 23

oh my god i almost lost it right in the middle of orbonne, i wish i got a screenshot of the pop-up lmao

Ultima the High Seraph, just about to do her ultimate attack: I am the only god!
Emet-Selch: Good luck.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 21

god i love yelp

A screenshot of the first sentence of a review on Yelp. Liah C from Fort Wort Texas writes: My friend was looking everywhere for a "Chicago Handshake" which apparently is not a sex thing.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 21

happy father's day!!!

A Final Fantasy XIV screenshot showing the boss Anima, the Eikon of Eikons.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 19

I did find a mod to steal some bunny boy animations lately and I'm living my best life.

An FFXIV screenshot showing a miqo'te character with short blond hair standing with his back slightly arched and his hands resting on where his belt would be. He is wearing a black backwards baseball hat, a black sleeveless shirt, black chaps, and black shoes.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 18

ahhhh okay now i understand

The AI disclosure on Steam for the game I Am Jesus Christ. It reads:

AI Generated Content Disclosure
The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this:

AI tools were used in the production of the voice acting. We are a five-person team that has been working on this project for several years without the budget of a large studio. In our case, this was a practical solution that allowed us to complete the game at the level of quality we were aiming for. All creative decisions and the final shape of the game were made by our team. AI was used as a supporting production tool, not as a replacement for the creative work behind the game.

One of the bundles for I Am Jesus Christ, showing that it is bundled with Thief Simulator for $31.48.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 17

mmm yes cool dragon design, 10/10

A screenshot from AFK Journey showing a large dragon named Azkarion'Sol with yellow markings reminiscent of molten lava.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 17

FINALLY FIXED!!! 🍻

A photo of a public bathroom stall latch which has finally been properly screwed into the stall door and is no longer loose and able to be rotated willy nilly.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 15

i might have found it you guys

A screenshot from the game Hawthorne from the Steam Next Fest. A mouse wearing a robe and a tricorn stands upright looking at the camera. Behind him stands an atter, another moouse, and a goat. The other mouse, who is also wearing a hat, says: Oi, gov'na, word with ya!

jack@vesaldi· Jun 15

tried the demo of this and my takeaways are: -wants to be little kitty big city SO BAD -actually made me motion sick??? this never happens to me -giving me big "undisclosed AI" vibes scratch that last one. just saw either they added it since i tried the demo, or i missed it (because i always look).

A screenshot of Cat Life Simulator, a game coming soon which has just had a demo released during Steam Next Fest.

jack@vesaldi· Jun 15

that was the funniest 30 minutes i have experienced in a while