Meryl Schumacker (@waybackgen) · DIRTY

Meryl Schumacker

@waybackgen

Certified Genealogist, children's television writer, and owner of We Go Way Back®. Love the Cubs, native plants/gardening, and books.

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Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· 2d

This is canon.

Screenshot of Q&A.
Q: what does being sent to the Heaviside Layer mean, exactly?
A: oh, I think you know. You just don't want to admit it to yourself.
Q: So you're saying the cats engage in cultish human-cat sacrifice once a year?
A: actually, because one human great equals about four cat years, they engage in cultish human-cat sacrifice once every thirteen weeks.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· 17d

Ok I've given up searching and need help with a laundry question. This is a silk t-shirt turned inside-out. The internet said the white might be mildew, so I treated it with hydrogen peroxide twice, but it did absolutely nothing. It also doesn't smell. Is this just fading? What is it??

Closeup of the shoulder of an inside-out black silk t-shirt with chalky white stuff, particularly along the seams.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· 20d

I'm reading Rick Steves's travel book on Madrid, and I can honestly say I didn't expect to see this in here.

Photo of a book page with the heading "The Spanish Inquisition."

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jul 11

I know it says he improved, but... yikes.

Because Jasa was so raw when he arrived at Nebraska as a Colorado high school recruit, Cornhuskers coaches not only redshirted him in 2024 but also wouldn't allow him to work against teammates in practice for fear he might injure them with an errant pitch.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jul 10

Henry IV hotel: don't forget to put the name of the hotel in mosaic tile in the bathroom Decorator: you got it, boss

Mosaic tile shower with HIV written in the center

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jul 5

I always think of this tweet when zip zap zop is mentioned

Twitter screenshot from Stevenson Waltien:
SON: We learned a game in school today. Do you know zip zap zop?
ME: Look around you, child. This roof over your head... these clothes on your back... this food on your table... all of this, child... all of this is from zip zap zop.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jul 1

This temperature is what I like to call Kyle Hendricks Weather. #Cubs

88 feels like 97

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jun 3

Pee Wee yells into a pay phone in a black-and-white photo from Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· May 29

I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Wanda.

Wanda from Wishbone wearing a maroon beret and holding a book, looking contemplative.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· May 13

Reminds me of this incredible thread about a FOIA request about a postal worker who killed a turkey in their route in self-defense.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· May 8

The New Bedford Whaling Museum is really killing it (no pun intended) in the merch department

A black t-shirt with a whale's skeleton in white on the front.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Apr 20

Lou Wilson on the show Game Changer saying "Whoever killed those people is still out there!"

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Apr 8

The real puzzle is "why tf is LinkedIn sending me puzzles"?

A screenshot of a new email in my inbox from LinkedIn, with the subject line "Your puzzle today, Meryl [puzzle emoji]"

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 25

Said poop machine (photo credit: Mondo Mascots)

People gathered around a vending machine decorated with a colorful colon waiting for prizes to come out if the hole at the bottom below the rectum. In the background is Kan-chan the enema penguin mascot.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 23

Sometimes I still look at this and smile.

Screenshot of nested quote tweets. The first tweet contains a screenshot from a Wall Street Journal article that says, "Imagine standing on a bank, watching a ship sail from right to left, said Mr. Lataire, a Ghent University professor and researcher for the Belgium-based Knowledge Center for Maneuvering in Shallow and Confined Water." The tweet says "What an organization name." Then a quote tweet of that, by Blake Hounshell, says, "This is your moment, M. Lataire. Drink it in."

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 21

With the Cubs, Kyle Tucker was 6'4", but he's 6'3" with the Dodgers.

Kyle Tucker on the Cubs roster in 2025 listed as 6'4"

Kyle Tucker in a Dodgers cap listed at 6'3"

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 21

Michael Busch? 6 feet down to 5'11".

Busch in 2025 an inch taller

Busch in 2026 am inch shorter

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 21

Ian Happ and Seiya Suzuki were 5'11" and 6 feet last year. Now? 5'10" and 5'11", respectively. (Yes, I went on the Wayback Machine for this.)

Ian and Seiya on the roster last year

Ian and Seiya this year, both an inch shorter

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 20

Minor edit:

Kate Carpenter's skeet edited to say "Please don't use AI. It's making me very grumpy."

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 14

Here, fixed it for you (I'm petty)

Greg's skeet edited to say "My biggest takeaway from the World Baseball Classic is that Houston Astros fans deserve that awful train horn every time the team scores a run."

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Mar 11

Once again, I am begging some intrepid reporter to do an in-depth investigation into how this became a real, honest-to-god government pamphlet.

A Social Security Administration pamphlet says "Boldly go to (the social security website url)" with pictures of Patty Duke(!) and George Takei(!) dressed in Star Trek gear, in front of a starry background. In front is... I think the moon? With the SSA seal pressed into the surface.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Feb 25

The whole thing is very reminiscent of @rebb003.bsky.social's new book, which you should definitely get!

Book cover of My Parents Are Dead: What Now? A Panic-Free Guide to the Practicalities of Death by Becky Robison

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Feb 18

The single greatest quote from a juror ever:

Excerpt from the jury selection for the Martin Shkreli trial.
JUROR NO. 59: Your home, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because--
THE COURT: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?
JUROR 59: It's my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.
THE COURT: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.
JUROR 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Feb 17

It's almost giving:

Excerpt from jury selection for the Martin Shkreli trial.
THE COURT: The purpose of jury selection is to ensure fairness and impartiality in this case. If you think that you could not be fair and impartial, it is your duty to tell me. All right juror number 1.
JUROR NO. 1: I'm aware of the defendant and I hate him.
BENJAMIN BRAFMAN: I'm sorry.
JUROR NO. 1: I think he's a greedy little man.
THE COURT: Jurors are obligated to decide the case based only on the evidence. Do you agree?
JUROR NO. 1: I don't know if I could. I wouldn't want me on this jury.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jan 21

More chonky birb cars. Round bois. BusyTown vibes all day.

Richard Scarry's Busytown written above that little worm character in a Robin Hood-style cap driving a car shaped like a red apple.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jan 20

Bless this person, wherever they are

A photo of a pub menu. Instead of "appetizers" the section heading says "to begin with" and someone has added in pen "Marley was dead" next to it.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Jan 10

Literally this

Meme of Billy on the Street, waving a dollar bill, accosts a woman in a yellow t-shirt and screams "Name a woman!" but instead it's been changed to "Name a hot guy!"

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Dec 18

Here we go! Maybe there's a hero out there who could do this for oreos.

Razz (sweetrazzberrie at Bluesky) wrote: "One day I'll write a story inspired by the time I was so disgusted in the lack of cookies in my cookies and cream ice cream that I dated a beautiful food scientist who worked at nestle in a misguided attempt to get more cookies in the ice cream."

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Dec 13

Just bought my first CD in maybe fifteen years. Physical media!!!!

My hand holding up the "Blood, Hair, and Eyeballs" CD by Alkaline Trio.

Meryl Schumacker@waybackgen· Dec 10

I don't understand why people are surprised about Pete Alonso going to the Orioles when he has peak Oriole Face.

Molly Knight on Bluesky saying "these are four different dudes on the same team". Underneath are pictures of four young white guys in matching Orioles uniforms who are spiritually the same person. Parker Malloy responded underneath, "I combined them into a single Super Oriole" with an AI-generated picture that is a combination of all of their faces. It is uncanny.

Pete Alonso's portrait, aka peak oriole face.