WellActuary
@wellactuary
Sports shouter. Heckler of fascists. Serial shitposter. Scary wife. IVF mom. Actually an actuary ™️ she/her
This, on the other hand, is a core memory. There was the group of us singing along to Dixieland Delight, the ones who knew but didn't join, and lots of confused relatives. And we have perfect pictures like this one because @davidasmithphotos.bsky.social is one of us and knew what was coming
In a season where I look back at our wedding pictures and mostly am shocked by how well rested we look. Happy 8 years to us!
Only technically a thirst trap because I am not doing a good job of staying hydrated 🫣
My mom just sent me these photos of 137kg/300lbs of dried pasta made from wheat grown at their house in Sicily 🤯 she said they're looking into shipping some directly to us, which will be the best day of my 2 year old's life 🤣 Baby sister? Meh. Mail order pasta? That's the stuff.
A thing about my family is that we're going to ignore the conventional family photo styling advice every time and we're gonna look 🔥 while we do it
Didn't need to worry about professional makeup, I've still got the old color guard skills on standby 🫣
Quick decision time - we're doing family pics tonight. My dress is a pinky purple color. Do I want a sparkly topcoat on these nails?
I am personally offended that these are the summer swimsuit colors Old Navy went with this year (not pictured, the obligatory black and navy and one halfway decent light blue)
Less spicy but even more important take. This is one of the sexiest G rated gifs to ever exist.
I have access to mirrors, it'd be silly to know that I look like this and then try to get surprised/offended/upset when someone points out the obvious 😂 also the Internet is bad at height but I'm like 5'8 so this whole thing looks even more absurd
Look I know this place isn't beating the allegations but Threads is on another level entirely and it's sometimes fun to poke my head in over there to gawk.
We could call this perspective lazy but I prefer to think of it as artsy
I reactivated my LearnedLeague account and I'm trying to make myself play at least one 1DS a day to get back in the habit but today's not looking great 😵💫 (They say Friday, answers are due by noon eastern tomorrow, I'd probably play today, don't at me)
The moment where I felt cute....and the one where I realized I actually looked like a pumpkin 🫠
I got this from Nuuly and it's only like $25 to keep it. I'm tempted, but orange is not in my usual colors (roll Tide, etc) and I'm not always a jumpsuit person and a little worried I look too much like a pumpkin 🫣 color is most accurate in the selfie. Help?
This is the tub of lip stuff I keep within arm's reach of my camera, ready to liven up my TeamsFace at a moment's notice 😂
Me: can I use this very saturated blue and green to dye a correctly teal egg? Me to me: fuck yeah, KC baby, today we're gonna score goals, maybe even more than our opponent
Yeah shit is getting serious over here and I am not due until JUNE, lol (this information visibly shocked someone the other day)
They are paying you that much money and you went out in public, knowing you'd probably be on TV, looking like this?! Dude your kids don't even love you, they'd roast you more and you'd dress better.
It's always suspicious to see a rotation with scores this flat. You mean to tell me all six routines were almost identical in quality?
This child is desperately in need of a hair cut. It'll be his fourth. He's not quite two years old. He does not love having his hair cut because he doesn't like being held still, but he reacts similarly to having his nails trimmed and that's not optional either.