
Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· 1d Apparently it’s black cat appreciation day. And how could I not appreciate such a perfect specimen?

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· 4d What the fuck is wrong with my wife

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· 9d “Give Handies, inc” is insane bro what are we doing

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jul 16 Grew some eggplants and made some eggplant parm

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jul 5 Alright I think that’s enough of all that

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 27 This one just does not get it

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 27 Showing my cat The Departed for the first time

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 27 Dehydrated cauliflower tossed in buffalo sauce for 12 hours. It tastes like spicy mulch. It feels like you’re taking poison damage when you eat it

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 19 Hell yeah bro go crazy it’s Friday

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 19 One down about 500 to go. Slowly but surely I’ll win the war against the rats before they infiltrate my garden

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Jun 10 I love watching terrible reality shows. Addicted to it

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· May 31 When the movie has brands I know

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Apr 9 Today I learned that my one cat loves hot & spicy Cheez-Its

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Apr 4 Got this text last night and got worried because my calls were going straight to voicemail. Turned out his phone was on silent because he was at a comedy show and clapping so hard while laughing it registered on his Apple Watch as a hard fall and it auto called the cops lmfao

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Mar 21 when my wife makes me take care of her Tamagotchi while she's at work

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Mar 17 BREAKING: Cutie pie watch has been upgraded to a cutie pie warning

Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Mar 11 Living a life few would even dare to dream of


Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Mar 7 In the crib fucked up off the curiosity cola


Big Tofu@whitebroccoli· Feb 24 Some are calling it the worst fundraising text ever received