Will Templeton

@willeth

Keep your beers cold and your rods hot. Cancer boy, Scorpio man

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Will Templeton@willeth· 24d

Time to look even less like my driving licence

The author, a white man, facing the camera at a rough 3/4 angle, with a freshly-shaved head for only the second time in his nearly forty-year long life. He sports a medium length dark moustache and beard and the lack of hair makes his single, thick eyebrow very prominent. He's wearing a black Against Me! band t-shirt and the background of the photo is a mess of board games and books.

Will Templeton@willeth· 24d

Game of two halves innit

A pair of posts from Chris Schilling @schillingc.bsky.social and Tom Phillips @tom-phillips.com, saying "Good fun, that" and "bit dull that" respectively, minutes apart. Presumably about The Football.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jul 4

I love it when the Amazon chat drones break kayfabe

A screenshot of text from an Amazon web chat, black on white, with initials for the participants. Conversation follows:

M: I hope the best for you. And I really hope that when the driver will come to deliver, You will be home.

W: He has already delivered while we were talking. This is all resolved. Thank you!

M: Ohhh wowwwww.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jun 29

A screenshot of the lower third of the trailer for the videogame "VIDEOBALL", depicting a green arrow (a player) and an orange square (an obstacle) against a generic sports court background. The outer rim of the screen is a graduated blue, with the name of the game in white at the bottom. Superimposed on the playing field are the words "(Inspired by historical sporting events, VIDEOBALL was designed, developed and produced by a diverse team of both vegetarians and non-vegetarians)".

Will Templeton@willeth· Jun 8

Soap dispenser was empty, so I had to

An empty plastic dispenser for liquid soap, on which is printed the words, "sea kelp," which sounds like the phrase "seek help," which is most likely not an original observation. It is mounted against black glossy subway tile which somewhat reflects the room, with red painted wall underneath, and is manufactured by Scottish Fine Soaps.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jun 8

@sean.tcgs.co where are you

The author, a white skinned bearded man in a black t-shirt (of course), looking perturbed in front of a neon sign that reads "The Phoenix".

Will Templeton@willeth· Mar 24

Haha okay, so 1. fuck off, and 2. fuck *off*. The absolute gall to say full throated that you're excluding a minority group and then pretend you're committed to inclusion.

The opening of the Girl Guides' statement on excluding trans women, claiming "Following the Supreme Court decision relating to sex and gender, we had to make the difficult decision in December 2025 that trans girls and young women would no longer be able to join Girlguiding. We also made a commitment to keep our current affected members updated on what the policy change means and what the next steps are."

A title from the end of the piece, stating "Our ongoing commitment to inclusion".

Will Templeton@willeth· Mar 13

I would suggest that if you look at these boxes and have them without milk it's choice, not ignorance.

The Google Images search result for Weetabix, showing four box variants, each with an illustration of the product in a bowl with milk.

Will Templeton@willeth· Feb 9

A screenshot of the described tool, with two distinct but close groupings of accounts. One is labelled "Splatoon Gaming Community;" the other, "Genitourinary Oncology Professionals."

Will Templeton@willeth· Jan 13

A screenshot from an episode of the Simpsons, showing Superintendent Chalmers distraught over the loss of the H badge from his Honda, arms asplay in distress. Principal Skinner looks nervous in the background.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jan 4

I like to get DMs on Reddit, the place for nice normal conversations

Will Templeton@willeth· Dec 16

@brainmage.bsky.social There is a splinter of you in my brain

A screenshot from a Facebook page named "Back to the Future Forever," showing a post from two hours ago, that reads "I was today years old when I found out that the gentleman taking photographs in 1885 was actually Dean Cundey, the director of photography for all three movies. I believe Zemeckis did this on purpose to pay tribute to his amazing work."

Attached are two photographs, one of Cundey in costume in the film, and another of a man against a framed picture of the cast and crew, with a yellow arrow pointing out Cundey.

Will Templeton@willeth· Nov 28

This is an absolutely fantastic feature of Monzo Bank, I'm so impressed. Only appears when it can tell that you're on a call (in this case, Discord, so it's not app-specific). This is intelligent, customer-centric design that's based on the right outcomes instead of just compliance.

A prominent in app notification from the Monzo Bank app, reading "Were not calling you. If someone is telling you they're from Monzo, hang up now."

Will Templeton@willeth· Nov 17

Getting mixed messages here.

A crumpled paper sign attached to a metal garage door, reading:
UNSAFE UNIT
PLEASE USE AT
[scribble] OWN RISK
DON'T
BE CAREFUL

Will Templeton@willeth· Oct 9

It's time for a game of Name That Gangster!

A pencil drawing of a character in an oversized suit, large lapels, and a rounded square head with large eyes and a long sectioned hose coming from his face.

Will Templeton@willeth· Oct 6

Checks out.

A screenshot of the Rotten Tomatoes listing for the 1996 Sean Connery/Nicholas Cage movie The Rock, with a critic rating of 67%.

A screenshot of the Rotten Tomatoes listing for the 2025 Office spinoff series The Paper, with a critic rating of 85%.

Will Templeton@willeth· Oct 1

I couldn't be arsed turning this into anything more high effort than this and I'm not sure it totally fits the brief but I had to get this image out of my mind for day 1

A rough sketch, blue on white, of a cartoon man looking into the mirror with his tired eyes reflected. An insectoid creature perches on the mirror, towering over and looking down at him, with similar but several frazzled eyes.

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 21

An image of Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, with a speech bubble superimposed implying he is responsible for the quoted post.

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 18

This bit is fascinating but I'm having trouble following. It seems like non-inverters are claimed to be faster than themselves. Is this a typo or am I missing something?

A screenshot from the linked article, that reads, "It turns out the most predictive out of all the factors we measured was how quickly gamers could mentally rotate things and overcome the Simon effect. The faster they were, the less likely they were to invert. People who said they sometimes inverted were by far the slowest on these tasks." So does this mean non-inverters are better games? No, says Corbett. "Though they tended to be faster, they didn't get the correct answer more than non-inverters who were actually slightly more accurate."

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 13

I know it's similar but I think this is worse because it's less necessary

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 10

I decided I'd have a go at second-drafting this, and I genuinely think with twenty minutes on my phone I've written something more engaging than one of the most popular contemporary fiction authors in the world.

White text on black, as follows:

Strike had chosen an outside table so he could stave off his hunger with a drag on his vape. It was nothing compared to the real thing, of course, but that was the price of clean living. But then again, he'd picked something called a Dirty Boy Burger, so how clean could he really be? Especially compared to Murphy. He justified it by focusing on how long it had been since his meagre breakfast, and made a mental note to replace the mouldy bell peppers at home with fresh ones to make up for it - which he told himself he'd definitely eat. It just about kept his mind from noticing the metal chair starting to dig into his backside.

When that distraction started to wane, he pulled out his phone and dialled Danny de Leon. He'd started mentally compiling the voicemail message before it even kicked in - Danny, of course, refused to answer the phone if he could help it, and probably wouldn't even listen to the message, but Strike found the habit hard to break.

"We've found the flat. No idea if Branfoot's still there - I'm going to check it out shortly."

The flat was ground zero for one of the oldest scams - film some drunk doing something unspeakable with a woman on your payroll, and hold the footage over their heads. This was more sinister than usual, though, and he found that when the burger finally arrived his appetite had dwindled.

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 9

What a boast! I wonder if it loses its power once it leaves the premises?

A white sign on the side of a medical building, with red capitalised text that reads, "there is nothing stronger than an aspirin kept in this building."

Will Templeton@willeth· Sep 5

Can someone explain to me how they can even teach the girls with a policy like this?

A blue square sign outside Guildford High School, with the school creat in the top left corner. The sign reads, "Guildford High School Sports Centre, UK's Top Girls' School for Sport," with a white rectangular sign below that reads, "No Coaches."

Will Templeton@willeth· Aug 22

Hard to believe it's been more than 25 years since my guest appearance on Frasier. The cast were all so lovely.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jul 24

Surprised no one's talking about the fact that Donkey Kong Bananza is set in Slough

A screenshot of the opening level of Donkey Kong Bananza, with the title "Banana Mining-Site - SL1".

A map of the SL1 postcode area, covering western Slough and parts of Buckinghamshire.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jul 14

Alas

A screenshot of the linked website, black text on white, reading "Normal opening hours: Open every day except Mondays, 11am to 6pm, with late opening."

Will Templeton@willeth· Jul 12

I don't mean to be contrarian, but I have to say this trilogy didn't really have a consistent narrative arc to speak of

The movie poster for the 1988 film "Bird," starring Forest Whitaker.

The movie poster for the 2024 film "Plane," starring Gerard Butler and Mike Colter.

The movie poster for the 2025 film "Superman," starring David Corenswet.

Will Templeton@willeth· Jul 10

vast and trunkless legs of stone etc

An excerpt from a job advertisement for editorial director for Rock Paper Shotgun, that reads, "Rock Paper Shotgun is a part of IGN Entertainment. IGN Entertainment, a division of Ziff Davis, Inc., is one of the world's largest gaming and entertainment media platforms and the go-to destination for fans to explore and celebrate games, film, TV, comics and much more."

Will Templeton@willeth· Jun 6

tfw you correct someone when they casually say you're gay

A screenshot from the opening of The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, with Link, a blonde cartoonish character in a blue shirt, looking to the right of frame, unimpressed, against the backdrop of a cel-shaded island with lots of bright primary colours. The text box at the bottom of the screen has not yet filled, so it just reads, "Bi".

Will Templeton@willeth· Jun 5

Here's a little tip for you all from us nerds - you can add a shortcut in your personal keyboard on your phone so that you can easily share your friend code. When I type swfc, it autocorrects to SW-1525-4414-8127.