Simon (@winklesbloke) · DIRTY

Simon

@winklesbloke

Woke lefty, cyclist and runner. Still doing Veganuary 2020. Almost certainly not as clever as he'd like to think. he/him

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Simon@winklesbloke· 27d

Another instrument I can't play.

An electronic drum kit.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 15

Foiled again.

Chalked writing on a pavement which reads "no dog pooping" except the word dog has been crossed out.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 12

Should have had some Chewits on hand.

A Godzilla like claymation puppet eating a packet of Chewits.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 11

Lots nicer for running.

Strava run details: 9.82 miles. One hour 24 minutes.

Background photograph of some lock gates with green fields visible behind.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 11

Every piece of litter tells a story.

A pump bottle of intimate lubricant branded "Lubido". The letters D and O are styled as the female and male gender symbols with a plus below the D and an arrow pointing towards the top right from the O.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 9

It's horrible here.

A middle aged white man wearing a white t-shirt, sunglasses and a hat drinking a pint of cider.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 7

It's all fun and games until you turn around and have to get home.

A Strava map showing a 71 mile bike ride.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 5

Forgiven.

A tortoiseshell and white (calico) cat looking intently at the photographer. She has heterochromia, with her left eye being blue whilst the right is green.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 5

My founding fathers

The album art for Eskimo by The Residents. Four people wearing tuxedos and top hats stand next to one another. All four of them are wearing eyeball masks which entirely conceal their faces.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 5

She's hiding.

A tortoiseshell and white cat's face largely concealed by green foliage.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 4

Help's on its way.

Me, a white middle aged man in a Thunderbirds costume.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 4

A local killjoy has started to petition on change.org against building a skatepark. The ai generated image that accompanies it is *chef's kiss*.

An ai generated image of a leafy green park. A young man on a skatepark leaps from a ramp, seemingly onto a large yellow mechanical digger whilst old white people look on aghast. In the foreground a man who looks a bit like child murderer Ian Huntley has his arm around a young boy in a red t-shirt.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 3

Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge. He is wearing a white dressing gown and has chocolate mousse smeared on his face and chest.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jul 1

Mornin'

A photograph of the sun over a calm sea with the beach in the foreground. Details of a Strava run are superimposed over the image.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 30

Drop a cop.

PC Copper from the 1970s BBC children's television programme Bod. You'll have to imagine Derek Griffiths' theme tune for him yourself or look it up on YouTube but it went "POM, POM POM POM POM, POMITTY POM POM POM."

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 29

A diagram of an element from Stonehenge on a paper napkin marked as being 18" in height and breadth.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 28

Twats! Thousands of 'em!

A screenshot from the movie Zulu. A man wearing a pith helmet, red military uniform with a couple of medals on the front with a moustache and sideburns.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 28

Can someone fetch me another bottle of beer please?

My legs and feet in a hammock. The sun is shining through the leaves of a rowan tree in the background of the photograph.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 27

Mad dogs and Englishmen.

Road bike handlebars.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 25

We've had some mystery mushrooms sprout in a pot in the back garden. Who's for a Wellington?

Brown mushrooms growing in a terracotta pot.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 25

Two early morning runs on the bounce? What's happened to me?

A photograph of a lake with Strava run details superimposed over the top of it. 5.07 miles. 40m 58s. 8:04 / mi.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 24

Live from my reflecting pool.

A Belfast sink filled with water with a small solar powered fountain inside it.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 24

Up and at em.

A photograph of a beach at low tide with Strava run data superimposed over it. 6.29 miles. 51 minutes 7 seconds. Pace 8:07/mi

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 23

If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.

Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure Time. She presents as a young woman with long dark hair and fangs. She is wearing a grey vest top, blue jeans, red boots, and is holding a bass guitar which is shaped like an axe.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 23

This particular scarecrow looks like it was modelled on Lincoln's amazing Experimental Sonic Machines.

Lincoln musician Experimental Sonic Machines. A man wearing a mask stands behind a table with various homemade musical instruments on it.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 22

Seconds later he spat that water at the camera and wrote his name in it.

Pob: A puppet with pink hair, big red lips, bulbous eyes and jug ears. He looks a lot like Michael Gove.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 22

Rare picture captured of Nigel Farage just before his tongue comes out to catch a fly.

A picture of Nigel Farage looking like a lizard under a headline that reads Reform calling for a general election.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 21

Bee orchids emerged from the lawn during No Mow May. #tinyjoys

Bee orchid flowers.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 20

Cheers Axe.

A white man's hand holding a half consumed pint of lager.

Simon@winklesbloke· Jun 20

Do you think this potato will be alright?

A very wrinkled potato in a white woman's hand. There are many sprouts coming out of it. Background is a tiled floor and a grey sofa with a book on the armrest.