Tommy

@zucko

I tried to teach you how to handle comics in the sixth grade, but oh, no, you wanted to play little league instead.

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Tommy@zucko· 22d

tweet reading as follows:
(me quietly asking my smart friend)
"is Clifford the big red dog a Kaiju?"

Tommy@zucko· 24d

tweet that reads "its always 2 dumb bitches telling each other 'exactlyyyy'"

Tommy@zucko· Jun 29

immediately thought of this

tweet by @dril reading "issuing correction on a previous post of mine, regarding the terror group ISIL. you do not, under any circumstances, 'gotta hand it to them'"

Tommy@zucko· Jun 29

timeline art

Tommy@zucko· Jun 29

took 30 seconds of googling to find that ~30-40% of ACA policies are high deductible plans, which pay nothing until you've had thousands in care. So as per usual, here is a rich asshole, having played a role in ruining a thing, decrying its use as fraudulent. bit.ly/4vxQIhb

black text excerpted from the above link, reading "The result is more uninsured, and a dramatic shift into worse coverage: enrollment in lower-level, higher deductible bronze plans jumped 10% — from 30% in 2025 to 40% in 2026. People now have to choose skimpy, bare bones plans with deductibles often over $10,000 because lawmakers refused to extend the enhanced tax credits."

Tommy@zucko· Jun 29

reminded me of this somehow

Tommy@zucko· Apr 29

a man is holding a microphone amongst a chaotic throng of suited men and one woman. a caption reads "would",

Tommy@zucko· Apr 2

sorry, but your butt dialing doesn't really impress me as my dick can send emails

snip of an email in my inbox from my penis that reads "Your Penis" as the sender. this is followed by the email address my penis first had to establish to send the email (info@frami.restinct.com, if you'd like to contact it via electronic mail), then the subject line (bc my penis would never send a message with no subject), which reads, ". The most harmful toxin for your penis (causes permanent ED!)"

Tommy@zucko· Feb 22

texts reading "feeling a lot of nontoxic patriotism right now, you guys" "the only good kind"

Tommy@zucko· Feb 3

obligatory share of a classic relating to this

tweet reading:

typical QB tweet: love my teammates god is good!
rb tweet: keep grindin
te tweet: derp
WR tweet: the enemy speaks kindly & holds a knife

Tommy@zucko· Jan 31

When the desperately needed Tschetter 3 falls

a man with dark hair sits forward in his chair

Tommy@zucko· Jan 28

oh look more stenography for the regime masquerading as journalism. go print up some horny jacking off sun graphics, you pieces of shit.

the sun, making a jacking off motion at how fucking full of shit USA Today is

Tommy@zucko· Jan 18

this is from the first quarter. which is to say I agree.

Tommy@zucko· Jan 6

I'm reminded of this line more than I'd like to be

Principal Snyder says to Xander, "Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event."

Tommy@zucko· Dec 16

4d chess, haters

a photo of Indianapolis colts quarterback Philip Rivers is accompanied by text reading "with return, rivers extends NFL health insurance plan for 5 more years."

Tommy@zucko· Nov 19

Tommy@zucko· Nov 17

last saved meme is your moral philosophy

Bill Clinton is a chili dog and Donald Trump is John Mellencamp

Tommy@zucko· Nov 8

college football is undefeated

many people exclaiming shock at college football goings-on

Tommy@zucko· Oct 27

beautiful day for it too

photo of a bloody hotel room with black text against a white background near the bottom of the photo reading "caption this with the 2nd to last text you sent.

Tommy@zucko· Oct 23

made me think of this

Colossus disabuses Ord of the notion he (Colossus) is made of steel.

Tommy@zucko· Oct 9

ok but I wanna work dumber bc I have a brand to maintain

Tommy@zucko· Sep 29

a scorpion is shown atop a frog. text above reads "'But now we shall both surely drown,' said the frog."

Text below reads "'lol' said the scorpion, 'lmao'."

Tommy@zucko· Sep 7

heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point

Tommy@zucko· Aug 12

Tommy@zucko· Aug 12

reskeet with a tweet you still think about

tweet that reads: another day volunteering at the Betsy Ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they won't even let me fuck it.

Tommy@zucko· Aug 12

conservative guy scared of cities costume

Tommy@zucko· Aug 5

if you graduated high school in the mid 90s, someone local is giving away every CD wallet you've ever opened

pics of the default late 90s white suburban kid CD wallet

Tommy@zucko· Jul 25

Tommy@zucko· Jul 24

can confirm it was the same in Michigan. the number of times the "Kamala is for they/them, Trump is for YOU" was, well...

Jimmy McMillan, seen here telling y'all the rent is too damn high

Tommy@zucko· Jul 22

objectively funny that the guy who so delighted in him being among the protected in an in-group/out-group dynamic so quickly became this tweet. gives me hope. he'll be the next secretary of treasury or some shit of course.