A Real Octopus

@a-real-octopus

He/him, trans // All Cephalopods Are Beautiful

110 Siguiendo488 Seguidores3958 Publicaciones

Bluesky

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A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· 17d

I think about this tweet a lot and of course the main thing is the casual, appalling inhumanity but I also don't believe he could have gone to any great parties? There's no such thing as a great party that has Elon Musk as a guest. I think it must be very sad but unfortunately he deserves it, so

Tweet from Elon Musk on February 3rd, 2025 saying "We spent the weekend feeding USAID into the wood chipper.

Could gone [sic] to some great parties.

Did that instead."

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jul 13

Picture of Avril Lavigne wearing a crown and holding a microphone above a caption that says "Avril Lavigne singing Bite Me on the Dick (line break) Clark Rockin New Years Eve 2022 Show"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 26

It must be amazing to face the world anew with zero context when you wake up each morning

Text that reads:
Notable
Unshackling the presidency. "Why has the conservative majority of the Supreme Court become so much more accommodating of and deferential to this president?"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 25

If the goose is not valued, she will leave

A PowerPoint slide with a picture of a goose and three golden eggs that says "shareholder value = 3 eggs" and "goose was not valued"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 19

I made mille feuille for the first time -- a little messy but very tasty!

Three slices of mille feuille; each piece has three layers of puff pastry, two layers of strawberries and pastry cream, and a white glaze with chocolate feathering on top.

The same three pieces of mille feuille at a side angle so you can see the strawberries and pastry cream better

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 19

@mr-roarbert.bsky.social is watching Cars for the first time with our daughter

A text reading "There's tons of buildings but no reasonable way for anyone to build them. The lack of opposable thumbs is a specter haunting every scene"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 19

Did you know you can just make deviled eggs even if it's not a special occasion? It's true, they can't stop you.

Fourteen deviled eggs on a cut glass plate made specifically for deviled eggs

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 12

My daughter drew this picture of an anglerfish when she was probably five or six and I have it hanging above my desk

$A black framed drawing of an anglerfish by a five year old. The fish is mostly purple with a big yellow light. I think there's an attempt to make it look three dimensional with curved and fractured lines reminiscent of cubism. There's a blue squiggle around the whole thing which I think is water.$

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 8

Is it okay to share more little guys? This lion cub is from the Egyptian wing of the Met, apparently early dynastic period (ca. 3100–2900 BCE).

A white stone carving of a lion cub. It doesn't have a lot of detail but you can see ears and a nose. It's lying down resting its head on its dear little paws.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 6

I made a Pride-themed gâteau St-Honoré; I'd never made one before and it was a lot of work but it turned out pretty well.

A circle of choux pastry filled with squiggles of creme chiboust (basically looks like vanilla pudding) surrounded by a circle of twelve cream puffs covered with different colors of craqueline so it's like a rainbow. You can't see it but there's puff pastry underneath.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 5

Solidarity from fans of Orange Mix

It's a series of texts from October 24, 2024. The ones from me say:
Okay so hear me out
I've invented something
It's called Orange Mix
It's Cheetos and candy corn together
I'm not sure if it's good or not

And someone replies:
I don't hate this
Damn it

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jun 3

Bought my daughter a Skip It and just got this text. I'm very proud.

We had to move to an empty playground because the Skip It was causing a sensation

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jan 20

At some point I got too old to fit the right number of candles on my birthday cake so now I do it in binary with candles and holes

A birthday cake with chocolate frosting and a lit candle, then a little hole, then another lit candle, then three more holes (it was my fortieth birthday)

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jan 18

I've put enough effort into gender, if you need something more make cis people do it

That meme of a pterodactyl person talking to Spiderman and Spiderman is saying "with transness you could destroy gender" and the pterodactyl person is saying "but I don't want to destroy gender, I'm just some guy"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jan 7

Being married to me is a great way to improve your self esteem, probably

Two texts from me, the first says "I was just thinking about how much I love you" and the second says "Depressing stuff"

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jan 5

Picture of director Bong Joon-ho holding two Academy Award statuettes and making them kiss while he looks at the camera

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Jan 1

Bart Simpson looking sad and saying "I'm the stud", the middle panel from the "Say the line, Bart!" meme

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Dec 31

Made a dacquoise and I'm very proud of it. The recipe is from Smitten Kitchen but the candied hazelnuts and caramel in the middle are my idea

A round thing that looks like a cake but it's frosted with whipped cream and on top there are candied hazelnuts with spikes of caramel and in the middle is a nest of caramel shards with a spray of caramel rising out of the top. In the back area ingredient jars labeled with painter's tape but they're not important.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Dec 26

Made what might be the best croquembouche I've ever made today

A bunch of cream puffs stuck together in a tower with caramel decorated with marzipan holly leaves and berries and a yellow marzipan star on top

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Dec 6

It's a green box around a blue background and against the background is a pink blobby figure raising its arms and saying "on no" in a yellow text bubble. At the bottom in black it says in all lowercase "alex norris" and I think the "i" is dotted with a heart

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Nov 29

I guess the last person missed the directions on the back of the airplane seat

Picture of the back of an airplane seat with safety information sheets. There's a label that says "Literature Only".

Same back of the airplane seat with a hand holding a copy of The Grapes of Wrath.

Last picture of the back of the airplane seat that says "Literature Only"; the safety information has been replaced by the book.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Nov 24

I'm a sucker for this

Four panel Vince McMahon meme where the first text is "A fictional" and he looks intrigued, the second text is "children's" and he looks happy and excited, the third text is "book" and he looks ecstatic, and the fourth/last text is "starts with a map" and the picture is red with glowing eyes to express extreme approbation.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Nov 24

A screenshot of a young Michael Scott on The Office saying to a puppet (cat I think? I can't tell, some sort of animal) "I want to be married and have 100 kids so I have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend".

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Oct 21

A meme from Mean Girls with Regina George driving a car. The top text says "get in loser" and the bottom text says "we're going to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable".

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Oct 15

The "say the line Bart!" meme of three panels where the top panel is a bunch of people looking expectant with the text "say the line Bart!", the second panel is Bart Simpson looking sad with the text "technophrenology", and the last panel is everyone cheering

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Sep 25

Not British but whenever I hear Labour talking about treating trans people with dignity and respect this is what I think of

A set of knuckles that say "dignity" and "respect". It'd be great if they looked like knuckle tattoos but they don't it's just words written over a picture of knuckles.

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Sep 7

Actually I think we could use a lot more purity tests

Norman Rockwall picture of a guy standing up at a town hall meeting

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Sep 2

You dropped this king

White background with a photo of a white mug that says "World's Greatest Dad" in purple

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Sep 1

Update: blondies!

A pan of chocolate chip Blondies that haven't been cut yet

A Real Octopus @a-real-octopus· Aug 28

I know this is largely a pet peeve of mine and there are more pressing issues but it does really frustrate me