Albert Burneko (@albertburneko) · DIRTY

Albert Burneko

@albertburneko

Defector dot com

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Albert Burneko@albertburneko· 13d

not trying to blow up this specific poster but i think people who post this shit should stop with the wised-up political analysis and just say "i think we should not abolish prisons"

a bluesky user posting: "'Abolish Prisons' is a slogan that will immediately turn off 95% of people, regardless of the nuances in the literature. Far more harmful than helpful.

The right clearly always wanted to make abortion illegal and punish women who got them. But they didn't make that their slogan! They knew better!"

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· 14d

we call these the "the economy's actually booming, you fool, it says so right here on this chart of abstract indicators, ignoramuses are just imagining that it's hard for them to pay for things" years

a chart showing grocery costs skyrocketing during the years of the Biden presidency that econ dorks spent scolding everybody for imagining that the economy wasn't as great as it said on their chart

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jun 24

This is not the same as bullshitting them. (Except for the part about the album cover.) But it does at times require you to take an adventurous approach to your interpretations of things. Maybe they weren't particularly brave for their flu shot. Maybe they played with the dog for their own enjoyment and the dog's satisfaction was purely incidental. Maybe you literally watched them break your bitchin' poster, on purpose, acting on the direct order of your spouse, and they simply did not deny it or run away when you fell to your knees and began screaming. That's fine. This story's purpose is not to be entirely true now, but to become true, later.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jun 14

a text from me to the group chat at 11:02, when the Knicks were still trailing: “Jalen’s got this”

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jun 1

Grimace

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 27

2016 Deadspin Award

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 25

or, hear me out, maybe some people on the left end of the spectrum are not nationalists, and perceive that half a win in an illegal war of aggression to preserve a decaying rogue state's "strategic bandwidth" is of dubious benefit to them personally and antithetical to their values

some King's College lecturer posting some dumb shit about how America's leftists are too blinded by Trump Derangement Syndrome to appreciate that they need Trump to "eke out half a win for the US" against Iran for the sake of "America's strategic bandwidth"

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 22

Pete Hegseth adds new weapon to American warfighter loadout: influenza defector.com/pete-hegseth...

Apropos of nothing, influenza killed more than 45,000 American soldiers during the "Spanish flu" pandemic of 1918–20, including nearly 16,000 who were deployed to France and fighting World War I. Had the flu vaccine been available then, any American serviceperson who refused it would have had their ass booted through the roof of their mouth. Hegseth has talked a lot about maximizing the lethality of America's service members; credit him, I suppose, for taking a true yes-and approach to the challenge.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 14

defector.com/president-ex...

A little while after deleting the post from his social account, Trump staged a press event at the White House in which he had two bags of McDonalds food delivered to him by a lady wearing a red T-shirt with the words "Doordash Grandma" on the front. Look man, all I can do is describe these things. I am not responsible for the world being like this.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 2

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 2

much too consider

a reply: “outlook isn’t that bad and that joke isn’t that funny”

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Apr 2

Dec. 31 2018 post on Deadspin by Tommy Craggs: "Is Stephen Marche the worst writer working in the English language today? It says here yes. (See also this and this.)"

("Here," "this," and "this" are all outbound links to examples.)

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Mar 19

wrote about this very thing a little while back defector.com/ok-but-what-...

Elon Musk's net worth, as of this writing, is estimated at over $400 billion.

What matters isn't so much how a person amasses that level of wealth—sure, there are ways more or less vile to do it, and on balance LeBron James's way is overall less appalling than S. Robson Walton's—though in looking for an index of a society's moral rot, you could do worse than to take a survey of how its richest guys got their wealth, by which measure ours should be purged from the earth. What's infinitely more important is the sheer injustice and perversity of allowing a fortune of that size to concentrate itself in an individual. It is incompatible with, and anathema to, things like democracy and free speech. It is hostile to the best interests of humanity.

In the form of money, Jeff Bezos can pump more of his will into society—into its politics, its information ecosystem, its decision-making and shape-taking—than all of the people who actually need society to function put together, doubled, and then squared. Peter Thiel, who by most reports is not nearly as rich as Bezos or Musk, not only killed a thriving independent media company, but meaningfully changed, for the worse, how this country's supposedly free press will or can cover society's most powerful individuals—over a fit of personal pique. This is not tenable! The knowledge that this type of arrangement is not tenable is older than the modern English language!

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Mar 10

i genuinely hate this guy

"You preferred human writing.
You're either sharply attuned to the qualities that make for great writing, or a lucky guesser. Maybe you also noticed that human writing often includes som clunky phrases, like this passage from Cormac McCarthy's 'Blood Meridian,' caused by the author's aversion to punctuation: 'As well ask men what they think of stone.'

A.I. used to make mistakes like these. But today's systems are much more fluid than their predecessors—so fluid, in fact, that finding grammatical errors or nonstandard syntax is often a hint that you're looking at a human's prose, not a machine's."

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Feb 7

Note: Poochie died on his way back to his home planet

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Feb 1

well good morning to you too, The Jingler

my insane dog

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 30

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 25

seriously they showed Mike Vrabel on the sideline and next to him was this:

Thorin Oakenshield from the animated Hobbit movie

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 25

hell yeah, Giant Ears Dogs kick ass

a giant ears dog

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 25

good blog www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/intolerabl...

When that round of gas dispersed I finally got around to 26th Street a block back from the police. The Minnesota state police were the riot cops, and they had riot guns, for shooting tear gas and rubber bullets. The ICE guys were behind them, on Nicollet, and several of them were standing there with long guns. A lot of angry people in the crowd were yelling at the state police: “Why are you looking at us! Turn around and arrest those guys! They just killed a Minnesotan. Who are you protecting?”

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 16

lol come on

"The list leaned right, to be sure. Loury, who is Black, zealously opposes affirmative action. Mamet had called Trump 'the best president since Abraham Lincoln.' Hock served as chairwoman of an organization called Texas GOP 2020 Victory. Several of the academics had experienced backlash for taking conservative positions. These included Dorian Abbot, a geophysicist who’d had a planned lecture at MIT on extraterrestrial life canceled over his views on DEI; Peter Boghossian, who’d resigned from Portland State University in part because of the institution’s response to his sending hoax articles to academic journals; and University of Sussex professor Kathleen Stock, who’d faced protests over her allegedly transphobic views, which she disputed.

But Summers had served in Bill Clinton’s Cabinet and as Barack Obama’s chief economic advisor. Others were unconventional, independent thinkers,"

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 14

yowzers, what a blog www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Against the demands and best aspirations of civilization – western or any kind – they tell us the human being is a creature that yearns for nothing more than blood and soil, which is, of course, just mud. The lust for mud has taken up many guises in our history and has been many given names of late – neo-reaction, post-liberalism, fascism. But the name familiar to most is evil.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 7

ICE agent kills woman, DHS tells obvious, insane lies about it: defector.com/ice-agent-ki...

The topline factual description of the event overwhelms any frame-by-frame analysis. ICE agents surrounded a woman's stationary vehicle on a Minneapolis street, pointed a gun at her, and tried to yank her out. When the car moved, one of them shot her in the head.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 2

My suspicion, my awful awful newfound theory, is that there are people with a sincere and even kind of innocent belief that we are all just picking winners, in everything: that ideology, advocacy, analysis, criticism, affinity, even taste and style and association are essentially predictions. That what a person tries to do, the essential task of a person, is to identify who and what is going to come out on top, and align with it. The rest—what you say, what you do—is just enacting your pick and working in service to it.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Jan 1

lol

sometimes makes factual errors.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Dec 23

good blog! defector.com/bari-weiss-k...

Presumably someone at CBS News' Monday meeting asked this flailing asshole what would satisfy her disingenuous requirement of cooperation from the story's "principals." Did she expect El Salvador's insane populist president, Nayib Bukele, to sit in front of a camera and admit to operating a concentration camp? Was she hoping for footage of Donald Trump staring ashen-faced at fresh images from CECOT and breaking down in tears of shame? Would Stephen Miller saying Cry more, libtards in his horrible voice meaningfully "advance the ball," or would CBS News settle for somewhat less hostile obfuscation if it was delivered by one of the administration's many repurposed and interchangeable Florida realtors?

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Dec 20

From November: Beware The Jingler defector.com/beware-the-j...

The sound of all of these games, of her approach, and of nearly every waking second of our lives now, is the jingling of her collar and the ID tags on it. Grover has a jingly collar too, in theory, but his only jingles a normal amount, because he is a normal dog. Louise sounds like a brass marching band falling down an endless spiral staircase, because she is a nutbar from hell whose heart pumps lightning. For this, we call her "the Jingler." As in Oh no, here comes the Jingler! and God help us, that sounds like the Jingler!

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Dec 20

from October: What Can’t The President Do? defector.com/what-cant-th...

For all practical purposes, this is a game. The discourse's approved participants dance just beyond the reach of ideas like morality, checks and balances, and due process, vamping and winking and taunting, speaking power to truth, pumping the ol' sophistry muscles lest they atrophy, sea-lawyering against the very idea that in the United States the law, and not the president, is sovereign. The administration gets another welcome layer of obfuscating smog between its actions and any hope of accountability for them. Meanwhile the men presently deciding which boats full of people to vaporize with missiles have neither any idea about the laws they might be breaking nor the least sense that they are constrained by any laws at all. Who could contradict them? Laws that cannot be applied to the real world in effect do not exist.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Dec 20

from September: Nice Hat, Melania defector.com/nice-hat-mel...

A specter is haunting Europe—the specter of Jack Napier! Exactly how many space aliens did they have to evict from that hat before she could wear it? Last time I saw a hat like that, it was rolling down the street three seconds after the sounds of screeching brakes and shattering glass. I have one just like it at home, upside down, with a pool of onion dip in the middle and an array of raw veggies around it.

Albert Burneko@albertburneko· Dec 20

from August: Butlerian Jihad Now defector.com/butlerian-ji...

The world outside of you is not merely an image projected onto your sensory organs. The people in it are not mere instruments that you use to produce the sensory arrangements you desire. They are also real, and what you and they need from each other, I am sorry to say, is not the mere feeling of being understood and valued and cared for, but to actually be understood and valued and cared for. Not only or even primarily because of how that feels, but because the fact of it backstops your life, and can become a pattern of supportive action when somebody needs it. This is because you, human that you are, are a social being, a part of humanity and incoherent divided from it. This is why in isolation people can go insane or, not to put too fine a point on it, kill themselves.