Beato Puente

@beatopuente

Versions of me exist in the folklore of most of the world's cultures, leading some to suggest that I am the ur model for the 'Unvarnished and Exuberant Weirdo' figure in the monomyth. Psychic robots beware, my defenses are potent. He/him.

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Beato Puente@beatopuente· Jun 23

This is extremely well-articulated. www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...

Text excerpt from linked article:

“The rationale was rejected by López Aguilar, who instead accused the EU of allowing the far right and its rhetoric around immigration to set the agenda. ‘We’re 450 million people all together. There’s no reason to panic when you talk about a certain number of migrants fleeing from despair or from a lack of opportunities. Let alone persecution, which is grounds for them to seek international protection,’ he said. ‘Migration is not a threat, not even a crisis. It’s a constant fact of the history of mankind.’”

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Jun 15

You know, Live was able to express a similar sentiment as this quote from Vance’s book and “Lightning Crashes,” rarely makes me vomit and certain not with such force that I turned into an ipecac sprinkler spinning without hope of stopping. www.rawstory.com/jd-vance-chi...

Text from article linked in text: “As my wife held Charlie Kirk’s widow on the first day of her terrible sorrow, Erika told Usha between sobs that she regretted having only two kids with Charlie,” Vance wrote. “But something changed for Usha, and not long after we buried my friend, she became pregnant with our fourth child, a boy. One life was stolen from us, but another was given.”

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Jun 8

Not trying to restart one of those endless and fruitless "are spaghetti a sandwich?"-type debates, but my personal definition of pogcore includes this artifact. (alt text boxes need to be longer if we're to make accurate descriptions)

From off-frame to the left, a roughly tended thumb (hangnail cut out for vanity purposes) and a couple fingers are holding up a dayglo neon pink laminated card, on a faded pink shoelace lanyard.

The words "WinterGreen" are written on top in black with a serif font that mildly evokes a fantasy tavern's menu, with the stylised tips of two skis bursting forth through the "G," trailing powder in their wake. It was a ski-hill, formerly known as Lyon Mountain, that ceased operations in 2003.

I was in undergrad at the time but we had already moved away from the small development of lots ranging from .5 acre to more than 20 next to the hill (ours was 3). Wintergreen Woods was ten clicks from Bragg Creek's two strip malls, so we were quite literally on the remote outskirts of an officially designated Place of about 500.

My parents both took side jobs ski instructing, as well as my dad doing some coaching and ski patrolling, at the hill even before we moved there from a small place on the other side of Bragg Creek, so I spent large chunks of my childhood from 7 to 14 there. My brother and I both raced there, lived in the staff room, and went to all the staff parties (at least those that my parents, a bit older and far more respectable, didn't host.) We moved away when my parents split for a few years and I haven't lived in Alberta in more than twenty years now.

Underneath the hill's name is the season, 1990-91, a black box with a photo of a round-cheeked little Beato, with "Sean Robinson" written underneath in pen before lamination. I have a bit of a mullet and spikey brown hair with a pronounced widow's peak, sort of like an eighties Eurovision singer. I have a neutral but cheerful expression, eyes wide. You can see pale pink inner collar of my jacket, a hand-me-down former staff kit, over a grey mock neck with white horizontal stripes.

Under the box it reads, "Season Membership
No. 0477," with the number printed in red.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· May 14

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Clip from article linked in main body of post, reading: “‘Last night, I had too much to drink and said some things that don’t represent who I really am. I’m sorry and today I am seeking help for my drinking problem,’ William Paul posted on social media under the handle TastyBrew1776.”

The handle TastyBrew has been highlighted for emphasis in a slapdash manner on my tablet, more opaquely where two wild stabs overlap.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Apr 4

Four quarters of the main cast of enduring MST3K classic Hobgoblins (1987)—the nerdy lead security guard, the valley girl and the soldier she is constantly humping, and the other nerdy guy who has a phone sex addiction—in the scene where they go to Club Scum to find nerdy leads prudish girlfriend. The bouncer is an 80s psychedelic with beads and a giant beehive and she is looking at the incoming crew with sullen resentment.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Apr 4

I believe her and would probably slow clap afterwards. www.espn.com/womens-colle...

$Text from linked article: “PHOENIX -- Geno Auriemma made a beeline down the sideline as the final seconds ticked away in the national semifinal Friday, ending UConn's previously undefeated season in a 62-48 loss. As he approached South Carolina coach Dawn Staley for a postgame handshake, he angrily let loose a string of words while demonstratively pointing his index finger at the floor. Staley seemed shocked for a moment before the two started to bark at one another before being separated. As Auriemma finished shaking hands with a few South Carolina assistants, Staley doubled back to continue the fracas, shouting and stepping toward the Huskies coach before her staff members blocked her path and circled her at the scorer's table. She continued to yell toward the UConn bench before walking away toward her own. "I will beat Geno's ass," Staley could be heard saying twice.”$

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Apr 3

Took a day longer than usual to get my xbox points this month. I’m mostly through this New Vegas run but it has kept me from finishing Alan Wake 2 with all sorts of stuff dammed up behind.

A screen grab from my xbox mobile app’s rewards page showing that I have completed the monthly 4- and 8-pack game achievement (garnering 80 and 560 points respectively) by playing at least twenty minutes of the games Monster Train 2, Solitaire, Slay the Spire, Balatro, Relooted, Monster Sanctuary, Fallout: New Vegas, and Dice-A-Million, represented by icons.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Mar 30

There is a dreadful irony that as the prions clump up in his brain, his language is turning into a crude parody of the pidgin English he has employed maliciously on people with those accents that make him feel insecure (all accents). www.rawstory.com/trump-267663...

Text excerpt from linked article:
“‘To be honest with you, my favorite thing is to take the oil in Iran but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people,’ Trump told the Financial Times, the outlet reported.”

I honestly don’t know what the punctuation for third-degree nested quotes and I apologise for being unwilling at the hour to pore over my copy of Garner’s Brick.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Mar 5

I bear witness to haggard, middle-aged Yao Ming. (From here, photo credits in alt text: www.theguardian.com/world/2026/m...)

Though this photo of Yao Ming and assorted other delegates to the National People’s Congress of China dates from last year, he stares through wearied eyes above and over the camera with the urgency of today. With a slightly unfamiliar roundness to his face (not particularly evident under his dark), there is an air of modern-day Brendan Fraser to him. Both have seen and lived through greatness and absurdity coupled tightly.

Original caption from the Guardian, with photo credit: “Yao Ming with other delegates as he leaves the Great Hall of the People in 2024. The former basketballer has become a fixture of China’s Two Sessions meetings. Photograph: Kevin Frayer/Getty Images”

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Mar 5

Squirrel no moose.

A squirrel digging into the snow facing away from the camera, glancing back out of the side of one eye with an arresting expression that says, "I know you're looking at my squirrel butt and I like it." Whatever he is digging and eating is suspiciously piss-coloured because squirrels are rodents and are at least a little disgusting.

A squirrel, gray with a red back, hood, and snout, sitting in the snow facing to the right. Its expression isn't exactly grim but serious, a creature at work and observing but not relating to the camera. Since it is cold it is very fuzzy and chubby.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Jan 16

Here’s a quick ai mockup of my idea for Boehner’s Place. Imagine him opening the show, “Welcome to Boehner’s, pull up a stool. I’m Johnny, what’ll be today?”

AI PROMPT: “Computer, offer me an image of former Republican Speaker John Boehner, with a bar-apron on, a towel over his shoulder, a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. Do it in the style of a mad genius inept at art quickly (but longer than you’d hope to think) sketching in Notes on an ipad suspended between their lap and desk awkwardly and precariously. And fuck it, give them a movement disorder.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Jan 1

A lady at my local med dispensary puts beautiful, fancy stamps on the bags. 2nd best thing in the place (sometimes tied if they have cool stickers).

Two small white bags, slightly crumpled. The one on the left has its top rolled close and features a stamped stylised Christmas made from swooping green curves and red firework bursts serving as ornaments. The one on the right is open and slightly more crumpled (saved from the bin for the picture). It has a stamp of a tree bare except for little red berries.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Dec 25

One time my folks came home from a Christmas holiday and the pet-sitter left these hostage holiday polaroids stuck to the fridge.

Kitty (briefly Jeff or Mutt, her sister was killed by a neighbour’s dog when they were young and we can’t remember for sure which one was which) glares directly at the camera with quiet malice. The fluffy tabby is lying next to a Santa cap on tile and it is very clear that no force nor power of holiday cheer will get that hat on her head.

Rookie was a purebred yellow lab, with certificate and everything, but was the runt of the litter and was always a little stubby. He is looking away from the camera with a panting mouth and happily confused eyes. Soon something else in the room will capture his loving attention and baffle him unless he is offered food or pets.

He is wearing antlers too but he forgot about them the second they were secured and would wear them for the end of time unless Sarah released him from them.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Dec 11

Eva Green and Josh Harnett from Penny Dreadful, from the rad subplot where they cohabitated an old witch cabin in the country and just looked and acted hot with each other. I think they were practicing shooting because Harnett has his holster on. He is wearing a brown chunky densely knit brown sweater that looks cozy as hell along with slate slacks. Green's outfit is the absolute apotheosis of comfy-core country life. She has a beautiful storm-cloud grey sweater with knot patterns that tightens a bit at the end of the sleeves and along the bottom hem, adding shape and keeping it from riding. She is wearing a lighter full length granite grey skirt that has a bit of flow despite it being a practical wool knit. It has pockets, folks! She is wearing a giant chunky-knit scarf, adding rich cream and earth tones to the greys elsewhere in a very broad check pattern. They are in the British countryside and are grinning at each other, Harnett more deliriously joyful but Green's exhibiting a knowing gratitude.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Nov 19

I've been to several shows at Agganis and the accessible seats have great sightlines at box level opposite the entrance ramp.

Picture from a 7/19/23 All Elite Wrestling taping at Agganis Arena in Boston for a Blood & Guts edition of Dynamite. There are a number of wrestlers in the cage and atop it is Matt Jackson, who is showering those within with thumbtacks he is emptying from a sack.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Nov 12

I'm still fairly early on in Outer Worlds 2 but I decided immediately to forego the warnings and accept every Flaw offered. Maybe I will regret it some future day but for now I am accumulating an incredibly goofy and fun arsenal of em.

The character summary tab for my level 11 character in The Outer Worlds 2, Kurkly Turnelbut. Besides that information, it shows that I have 5,015 credits, 0/128 toxicity, a background as a Professor, the trait of Witty, and the following flaws: Consumerism, Easily Distracted, Flawed, Bad Knees, Hermit, Profligate Spender, Overprepared, Snobbish, Gluttony, and Treacherous. The Bad Knees flaw is highlighted and described as, "Years spent crouching have really done a number on your knees. They ache and squeak, but as long as you stay crouching you can ignore the pain. +50% Crouch Speed. Crouching emits a 10m radius sound that hostiles can hear and investigate." Beneath the description there is a crouching silhouette with pain and creaks radiating from the knees. To the right is my character, clad in gold-plated armour and sniper helmet, bearing a long shock rifle.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Nov 5

This is simply confirmation of your point, though I would contend it is an mspaint problem, not a photoshop one.

A picture of serial NYC mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa, probably from Election Day, 2025 on the streets of the city. He is pouting harder than anyone has ever pouted, his cheeks and chin as strained as a bodybuilder's lats as they pose on stage, and in the original picture (explained below) he was wearing a beret from his Guardian Angels organisation. He has a tie that features a variety of cats tiled in a way that resembles the work of mspaint (also relevant soon) and he is a holding and displaying a book, "Pawverbs for a Catlover's Heart," by Jennifer Marshall Bleakley. Someone with long-blonde hair and glasses is leaning into the photo, suggesting that that they may be the author themselves.

As a puckish response to the post I above, I have cut-and-pasted a set of furry black cat ears overtop his typical beret. I found them on etsy via a quick google image search and they have piercings, including a silver cross on a chain.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Nov 2

Outer Worlds 2 has double-jump?! AND pets?!

A clip from a screencap from Outer Worlds 2 featuring the upper torso and head of my character, Kurkly Turnelbut. I am garbed in the early access armour—gold-plated breastplate, a pewter cap over gold shoulder pads, and a green undersuit with various tubes and wiring—and a helmet that looks like that worn by Moon Man, the mascot of Spacer's Choice. It is a smiling face on a moon, with a operable lower jaw like a ventriloquist dummy's, and a stovepipe hat worn at a jaunty angle.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Oct 28

I sort of take offense at Albanese here because he very much looks like the kind of guy back in the day who would put their baby in a Ramones onesie. A real John Cusack, I’m saying. i.guim.co.uk/img/media/4f... www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

Australia Prime Minister Anthony Albanese coming off a plane in Sydney, New South Wales (as indicated in a label at the bottom of the image) after flying back from meeting with Trump. He is wearing black pants, black leather shoes, and a black t-shirt with the poster print version of Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures album, which includes the band’s name at the top and the album name underneath the album cover image “based on an image of radio waves from pulsar CP 1919, from The Cambridge Encyclopaedia of Astronomy” (wikipedia). This resembles a series of parallel horizontal lines that spike at various points to represent the waves.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Oct 26

I am a very easy mark for Obsidian and the preorder on Game Pass was a birthday present, but Outer Worlds 2 is—just in rolling up my character, meeting the crew, and landing on a planet—so much more fun immediately than Starfield.

My character for the game The Outer Worlds 2, at the name entry screen. I have entered the name Kurkly Turnelbut which uses up all sixteen of the allowed characters. My character has a male body type (only two options here, sadly), curly blue hair left a bit shaggy—which also describes the eyebrows and mustache, though the latter is a touch darker. He has hazel eyes and some freckles, a scar along the bridge of his nose, and a star shaped tattoo underneath his lower lip. He is somewhat softly featured, with big eyes and a fair complexion. He is wearing some manner of spacesuit, a little Marvel-ey but with a touch of weird sci-fi due to a belt whose instruments glow a sickly greenish yellow. He is standing in front of a nondescript section of his ship, all pipes and steel slat floors. Commander Turnelbut, Kurkly to his friends, is shown from the waist up and his hands are below the frame. He is bordered on either side with stylised banners of the Earth Directorate, a red four pointed star elongated at the top containing a white silhouette of the moon rising behind the earth on a blue backdrop with abstract designs behind it in a lighter blue and a light blue chevron that extends to a thin border for the top three-quarters and contains three stars. There is a small rodent like creature on the ground behind me as well. There are various menu options for exiting, accepting, zooming, and returning to other parts of the character selection screen.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Oct 8

Look, I just want to know how they get the rattlesnakes to serve as bodyguards if they are always eating them for breakfast and drinking their blood for tea. Are the wild cats watching out to make sure the snakes act up or are they partner guardians of the Mexican people?

Clipped text from a google web search, with a small image of an album in the upper right corner:

“Got the Blues For Murder Only
Song by Lonnie Johnson

Overview
Lyrics
Down in old Mexico, where a child will slap your face.
Down in old Mexico, where a child will slap your face.
They make a bread with cayenne pepper, drink gun powder to kill the taste.
Women down in Mexico, they's bad as bad can be.
Women in old Mexico, they're bad as bad can be.
They eat rattlesnakes for breakfast, and drink the rattlesnake blood for tea.
Down in old Mexico, they're bed is made out of stones and trees.
Bed is made out of stones, trees, and the pillows out of rocks and stone.
They got rattlesnakes for bodyguards, wild cats to watch over ‘em all night long.
I'm going back to old Mexico, where there's long, long reaching guns.
I'm going to old Mexico, where there's long, long reaching guns.
When they want real excitement, they kill each other one by one.
Down in old Mexico, why's everybody's wild and free.
Down in old Mexico, why everybody's wild and free.
‘Cause here in this country, they don't kill ‘em fast enough for me.
Down in old Mexico, where they kill ‘em both night and day.
Down in old Mexico, where they kill ‘em both night and day.
Where the chief locks up the jailhouse, and the judge goes home and stay.
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Lonnie Johnson
Got the Blues For Murder Only lyrics © Wixen Music Publishing”

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 29

I held up my wife—already trying to hurry to get to work—if this was putting a hat on a bat. I am a monster from folklore.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 22

Gotta strike while the iron is hot, this Jurassic Express 1/1 black variant rookie card has got to be worth bank now that they are back together.

A 2022 Upper Deck AEW 1/1 black variant of the tag-team Jurassic Express (made up of Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus) in a plastic sleeve resting on a woodgrain background.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 16

An image of Jeffrey Wright from Westworld and the closed-captioning reads, "Doesn't look like anything to me."

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 8

Robot’s not only giving match results before they are over but also giving incorrect results. Bookies should be thrilled!

The “AI Overview” section of a Google search for “why was israel goal disallowed” with the following text:

An Israeli goal was disallowed during their 2026 World Cup qualifying match against Italy on September 8, 2025. The goal, scored by Manor Solomon, was ruled offside.
Key details of the play:
Player involved: Manor Solomon, who also scored in Israel's previous match against Moldova.
Result: The goal was nullified after a video assistant referee (VAR) review confirmed the offside position.
Match outcome: Israel went on to lose the match 1-0 against Italy.
Event context: The match was held in Debrecen, Hungary, due to security concerns in Israel.

The match outcome has been highlighted in yellow on the image.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 6

Two images are set beside each other. On the left, Pete Hegseth is making an anguished face as he performs a terrible, flailing pull-up. A soldier in a blue shirt in the background is not in focus but the disdain is still clear. On the bottom, a rounded corner square banner in pink with a purple outline sits with the words "Secretary of War" inside written in purple in Pristina font.

On the right, the Hall of Fame defensive end for the LA Rams, Deacon "The Secretary of Defense" Jones, is on the hunt for another quarterback soul, his face pulled into a terrifying scowl of determination and will. A black six sided star outlined in red is on the bottom with the words "Secretary of Defense" within, the font Black Ops One and in blood red.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Sep 4

I never actually shared Van Monster, a comic book made as an entry to a @1900hotdog.bsky.social contest, here. It took a lot amount of work for something so very stupid, which is generally my criteria for success and is the only thing I have ever had published. 1drv.ms/u/c/6354117f...

We are presented with the cover of Van Monsters (the title contained within a pink six pointed star banner in some kind of orientalist calligraphy font), listed as #8 (in a white circle next to the title) and a squat dehydrated piss yellow banner on the bottom states, "City of Brotherly... VAN?!?".

There is a flat and empty dirty blue background reminiscent perhaps of the smoggy air surrounding a titular van monster. Two vans face off coming from opposite sides of the image. On the left is an old van in safety orange that somehow fades into splattered blue on white linoleum patterns at various points and there is a long red bar along the side with an uneven row of wide white curved hashes, like a WWI pilot but for teeth collected. Only the front third of the vehicle appears within the frame and the so a side window painted red with circuits of white and blue lines scrawled in what may be a terrible ritualistic symbol. There is a navy or black line that comes down from the roof and over the front down to the grill, widening under the windshield and becoming unevenly segmented with white lines. Just that little part looks like a Trans Am album cover.

On the opposite side juts another van from off-panel, facing off against the first (though both are actually angled slightly forward rather than head on). It is marginally newer and with a glossier blood red paint job interrupted by amorphous black shapes sweeping along within the sea of red. The grill is bright chrome with big flood headlights. There is a panel along the side that looks disturbingly like it is made of rough leather.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Aug 31

A gif of Ruby Rod from The Fifth Element leaning into the camera, about to dish to the world the end of someone terrible and important.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Aug 31

Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in September.

Karl Popper's original illustration from Objective Knowledge, depicting what he saw as the passive, bucket model of learning. It has been repainted red and looks like what a child draws after spending an afternoon chilling with cenobites.

Beato Puente@beatopuente· Aug 28

I don't mean to be provincial, but apple pie hummus? The fuck we doing here? And why the fuck am I about to buy it?