Beowulf6561 👺 (@beowulf6561) · DIRTY

Beowulf6561 👺

@beowulf6561

We can’t stop here. This is bat country. Your DMs confuse and frighten me. He/him

1051 Siguiendo1376 Seguidores961 Publicaciones

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Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jul 9

This must have been what it was like living in the Dark Ages where every iteration of something was worse than the previous one. The latest version of Microsoft Outlook is worse in just about every way, but it's really the details they got wrong that make it extra special.

Screenshot of an email I'm writing with the text "It's possible I'm being uncharitable. I guess we'll see". The Microsoft Outlook grammar engine flagged the phrase "being uncharitable" as a problem and offers the suggested change of "being in charge".

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jul 7

I was the only person on this Metro train car today and then I arrived at Rockville an hour before the MARC train and was the only person on the train platform. #liminalspaces

An empty DC Metro train car on the Red Line.

The train platform at Rockville completely devoid of people.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jul 5

My founding fathers.

The original line up of foundational desert rock band, Yawning Man. Left to right: Alfredo Hernandez, Toomany Skulls, Mario Lalli, Gary Arce.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jul 1

I’m the hero of Hyrule (again).

Shot of the top of the end credits scroll after defeating Ganon in the first quest of the Nintendo game, “Legend of Zelda”.

Text of the message:
“THANKS LINK, UOU’RE
THE HERO OF HYRULE

FINALLY,
PEACE RETURNS TO HYRULE.

THE END.”

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jun 19

A sign hung up in a grocery store aisle depicting a blonde, white woman eating a cracker with a slice of cheese on it beneath the caption, “Crackers love cheese”.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jun 17

Name a TV show you’re positive no one remembers but you. “I said ’lunch’, not ‘launch’”!

Poster for TV show ‘Far Out Space Nuts’ depicting the 3 main characters. Left to right: Barney (Chuck McCann) in an orange jump suit, Junior (Bob Denver) in a silver Apollo era NASA space suit, and Honk (Patty Maloney), an alien creature that looks vaguely like a rat with white hair and brown face.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jun 8

I thought it worked but then I saw your post and now I’m not so sure.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jun 4

Peter Gibbons from the movie “Office Space” answering a phone call from one of his 8 bosses to tell them he has the memo.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· May 15

Laurel and Hardy. Well, that's another fine mess you've gotten me into.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 26

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: No Star Wars/Trek, LOTR, or Marvel.

Clip from the movie “Rosenceandz and Gildenstern are Dead” Rosencrantz (Gary Oldman) trying to demonstrate the law of conservation of mass/energy to Gildenstern (Tim Roth) with a line of hanging clay pots. He pulls the first pot back and lets it go. When the first pot hits the next in line it breaks and all its contents drops out of the bottom without moving any of the other pots.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 17

alienjock writes:
Girl Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he's very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

hlahlahlahlaly replies:
As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 5

Best Star Trek crew. Wrong answers only.

Chewbacca, Ben Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon as they approach a “small moon”.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 4

Petition to replace the Easter Bunny

Photo of Krampus, a hairy, horned goat man with a distressingly long tongue sticking out of his mouth, stuffing a terrified little German boy into a basket while a little girl (collaborator?) looks on sitting on the floor holding a basket of apples in her lap. At the top there is a sweet Yuletide greeting in German: “Gruss vom Krampus!”

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 4

Describe your Bluesky account with a singe image

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 4

Halloween decoration from my yard ca. Oct 2025. Ghoul with glowing red eyes and black cape standing behind a portal to hell, lit with red and orange lights and smoke billowing out of it.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 3

We will get into that next week. i.imgflip.com/aobkg1.jpg

Anthony Adams wearing a yellow jacket hiding behind a tree staring into the distance while rubbing hands and licking lips.
Bottom text: Your therapist when you bring up a new childhood trauma.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 3

Post something random or you will have an awful April.

A blank background with black text saying “ Don’t be a d^3x / dt^3 “ (differential equation for the 3rd derivative of x with respect to time (i.e., jerk)).

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 2

Windows Update, you can go fuck yourself.

Annoying Windows Update pop-up dialog.
Title: Let's cross this one off your list (estimate: 7 min)
Text: The next update is ready to help keep Windows running smoothly. Pick a time to restart to install the update, or we'll try to restart outside of your active hours.
Left button: Restart Now
Middle button: Pick a time
Right button: Remind me tomorrow.
Right button is blue and highlighted.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Mar 20

Happy Spring, y'all!

Spring Equinox > Date (2026)
Fri, Mar 20, 2026, 10:46 AM
Northern Hemisphere - Eastern Time

Graphic on the left show the position of the earth around the sun at the equinoxes and solstices over the year.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Feb 28

Post a pic you took, no context (other than alt text), to bring some Zen to the feed.

The moon reflecting on the Atlantic Ocean. Taken about 35,000 feet over Jacksonville, FL (I think?) on our way home from Orlando.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Dec 10

New Christmas tree arrived today. open.spotify.com/track/79nOKa...

The youngest kidling decorating our new pre-lit Balsam Hill tree.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Oct 10

Clue. The Movie
It’s not just a game anymore.

Eileen Brennon
Mrs Peacock
Tim Curry
Wadsworth
Madeline Kahn
Mrs White
Christopher Lloyd
Professor Plum
Michael McKean
Mr Green
Martin Mull
Colonel Mustard
Lesley Ann Warren
Mrs Scarlet

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· May 4

DEVO came all the way to DC just to play music for me. WTF?

DEVO playing “Girl U Want at the Anthem in Washington, DC

DEVO playing their cover of “Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones at the Anthem in Washington, DC.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Apr 7

A post in r/music asking why the Dude in the movie “The Big Lebowski” hates the Eagles. Reply from 0000000000000007: “Even the Eagles hate the Eagles.”

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Mar 14

I’m busy this afternoon please don’t bother me.

My calendar entry for 2025-03-14:
12:30 to 14:30 - Actualizing Synergies
14:30 to 16:00 - Synergizing Actualities
16:00 to 17:00 - GFTD

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Mar 11

Post from r/shittmoviesetails with photo of a person dressed as Nosferatu with a haircut like Adolf Hitler. Caption: “Nosferatu (2024) takes place in Germany because American test audiences were offended by Transylvania.”

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Mar 8

I’m back, baby.

Photo of me, 5 weeks post surgery driving my GTI again. Left foot comfortably depressing the clutch; right foot on the brake. Steering wheel and dashboard console in the foreground.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Feb 12

If you see this, post a photo from your device with no explanation.

Scene from the show MXC of someone wiping out during one of the challenges. The closed captioning always mistakenly transcribes “MXC impact replay” as “Taco Bell impact replay”.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jan 31

I stand by this statement.

Facebook post from Steven Krise
Dec 29, 2017
Having seen The Last Jedi for a second time today, I believe Episode IX should be 2 and a half hours of Kylo Ren and Rey interacting, interspersed with cut scenes of the Millenium Falcon flying through ridiculously tight spaces.

Beowulf6561 👺@beowulf6561· Jan 30

With alt text.

"Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed. That word is "Nazi." Nobody cares about their motives anymore. They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they
bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they
used in the binding?"
A.R. Moxon