They could have sent her to jail instead? Would have been win-win.

Siri, show me the worst - and worst-timed - hot take in history.

We truly are in Don’t Look Up territory aren’t we.

It’s hard to adequately convey how much I want this to happen. It’s just so poetic, and the ending we all need.

I really want to see the Bayeux Tapestry, as do 40,000 other people, but still, I’m not sure this is the most relatable take 🧐

Shame Jo already did this

Me in 1987, in my dad’s office at Sheffield Poly, given printer paper and some crayons, told to get on with it and left alone for the next five hours. Kids today:

Interrupting your doom scrolling with this photo of my dog’s newly groomed tail

What Smithy did for the England football team, but it’s me and the Labour government.

Please use your vote (wisely) #DogsAtPollingStations

In my latest blog I’ve written about series 5 of Hacks, and the reboot of Malcolm in the Middle. Guess which comes off best in the funny face-off? Link in bio shorturl.at/rF1PM

This is the spider that bit me yesterday. Waiting to see if I develop super powers…

My thoughts on the thoroughly delightful The Other Bennet Sister. IT’S A TONIC. tinyurl.com/2pabfa93

I was strongly urged to watch Heated Rivalry so I did and I was bored rigid. No - that suggests some degree of engagement. I was bored limp. Here’s why: *ducks for cover* tinyurl.com/4ned5dfu

My book is out today in paperback! It features cocktails, mosaics, iced biscuits and Charlotte Brontë. The lovely Mel Giedroyc called it ‘unputdownable.’ I think this means she carries a copy with her always.

Then find a dog who does.

Happy World Book Day! Here’s me doing my best Daphne du Maurier.

Guys, if you have a SATC/Emily in Paris-shaped hole in your life then you need to watch Younger on Netflix. You’re welcome. I’ve written about it here: tinyurl.com/v3h9jn4b

Fixed it

I am in @theipaper.com today! Choosing my favourite mysteries. Whodunnit-lit? 🧐

New ep up! Weeing and whiskey breathing! podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/w...

It’s Wanger Wednesday! Tune in to WILD SWIMMING WANGERS for INTENSE WEEING CHAT! podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/w...

It’s time to review a Christmas movie! This year I’ve gone for A Merry Little Ex-Mas, which made me more than a little upset. Spoiler alert (though they’re the ones who spoilt it IMO), plus ranting and swearing alert. They RUINED my Christmas spirit! I am Ex-tremely annoyed. shorturl.at/EaUVa

It’s that time of year when I do my Christmas advert rundown. This year, to keep it snappy, I’ve done a handy haiku for each commercial: shorturl.at/sWiRg

This month, the hardcover edition of Isabella’s Not Dead is a bargain £12.50 on Amazon! If you’re looking for any bookish Christmas gifts… amzn.eu/d/dh5fahK

I’ve written about Nightwatch, which is Gone Fishing for ghosts. Whether you’re catching trout or phantoms, a similar approach is required - but have Daisy May Cooper and her brother got what it takes to reel in a spectre? shorturl.at/JgE1L

Until Friday 17th October you can get 25% off Waterstones online pre-orders of the Isabella’s Not Dead paperback, which is out in March! Pre-orders are so important for authors so do yourself and me a favour and get it hot off the press! www.waterstones.com/book/isabell...

What I’m wearing to the Rapture

Titus Andronicus at the Hampstead Theatre is FANTASTIC. Gory AF, totally OTT, funny, moving, inventive. Stars the incredible @johnhodgkinson.bsky.social as the titular Titus - a titan! PS THE PIE SCENE 🤢😱

I’ve written about Resident Alien, a weird, sinister and brilliant show you may not have noticed, even though it’s been living on your Netflix menu for months. shorturl.at/b5ACp