We don't pander to our dogs. We simply recognise the chain of command.

When irony and bad grammar team up. #Irony #BadGrammar #Proofread

No, it's this one. It has five speeds and 180 degrees oscillation. It's also very quiet.

Starling mum feeding her chick in our garden.

Postcard from brain hamster. IYKYK.

Bosley and Lexi have reached a level of friendship where they don’t just spend time together—they sleep in exactly the same position. I’m beginning to suspect they share a single brain cell and take turns using it. 😂🐕 #Chihuahuas #CuteDogs #LoveDogs #DogsSleeping

Current streak: 127. The record has officially been broken. The old 126 is dead and buried. Today’s second “go to” word nearly handed me a glorious 2, but I’ll happily take the 3 and stagger across the finish line like a dehydrated gladiator. Wordle 1,802 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Our first dog, Tess, understood the assignment. She just ignored the second half of it. Run? Nailed it. Find the toy? Elite. Fetch it back? Absolutely not. She’d stand over it barking like a furry supervisor: “Yes, that’s the item. Feel free to collect it yourself, human.” #Dogs #Staffie #Staffy

The patio has entered the minimalist era and the front garden is now a chaotic plant & furniture refugee camp. Also, please pay absolutely no attention to the mop bucket… it’s simply there for emotional support.

And Bos today because of the wet stuff outside😆

Our boy Bosley enjoying the sunshine yesterday🥰 #Chihuahua #Sunshine #CuteDogs

This 40-year-old pic emerged from my past, when I thought I was one good pose away from joining Madonna’s inner circle. Peak confidence. Zero understanding of the world. Look says “mysterious rebel.” Reality says “this person does not know how taxes work yet.” Wordle 1,664 3/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

My babies

Tried giving Bosley and Lexi their own space but they both piled into one bed like it was the last lifeboat on the Titanic. #Chihuahuas #Dogs #Furbabies #Cuddles #Cute

Show me anyone who wouldn't freak out when your son sends you this.😱

Don’t be fooled by those big, innocent eyes — he’s basically a Slow Loris with a gas leak — adorable but deadly.

One of our (sadly passed) comedians Janey Godley “welcomed” Trump to Scotland back in 2016. Needless to say, the majority of the UK feels the same.

The world’s oldest monumental olive tree in Crete — 2,000 to 4,000 years old, has an awe-inspiring nebari and is still producing olives. My partner Ian, crouching beneath it. One has stood for millennia. The other stands by me. No contest. #TrueLove #Soulmate #Bonsai #Trees #Nebari

Having watched a few more enlightening videos I realised my first attempt at Tanuki looked like firewood with ears. Armed myself with a fresh chunk of wood and launched Juniper Tanuki: The Sequel. #Bonsai #Juniper #Trees #Tanuki #Redo #Tryagain

The girl’s having absolutely none of it. Zilch. Nada. Therapy Dog says rejection builds character. Maybe I need mahjong lessons. Or a restraining order from reality. Therapy Dog also eats crayons. #bonsai #deadpool #therapy #ryanreynolds #dogs #mahjong #flirting

Welcome to the obsession, that is, Bonsai. This patio was empty a year ago.😁🌲🪴 #Bonsai #Obsession #Trees #Plants

My very first attempt at a Tanuki Juniper Bonsai. It's a work in progress. Many cable ties used🤣 #bonsai #tanuki #juniper

An update on the urban yamadori wisteria. June and July. #bonsai #wisteria #trees

Still lounging. Still shameless. He's not discouraged. Flirting is just foreplay for rejection anyway. #deadpool #ryanreynolds #flirting #rejection #bonsai

When your therapist is booked, but the dog still listens. #bonsai #deadpool #therapy #reading #dogs

When the sky dreams of mountains, it makes clouds like these. #mountains #peakdistrict #lakedistrict #clouds

It's not really a #bonsai but I do love this little Cutie Pie #Rose arrangement.

Someone was selling 38 two-year-old Lonicera plants for £1 each on Facebook Marketplace. Of course I had to get all 38 of them. Going to be busy😁🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴🪴 #bonsai #bargain #plants

Campers moved in on my larch forest! 🤣

And there he was—red suit, zero shame, 100% confidence—lounging against a tree like it owed him rent, looking at her like she was the last sausage roll at Greggs before the shutters came down. #bonsai #Deadpool #RyanReynolds #flirting