The D.C. Universe
@dcuniverse
According to Star Trek canon, MLB folds in 2042. So let’s enjoy baseball while we can.
Whoa! Based on my visits to Sainsbury’s, the Brits really love their prawn crackers. I think even they’d be impressed by these.
Demand a trade, Bryce. Come back to the only place you’ve ever won something.
He cried because he loved Nationals fans so much and he knew that he’d be leaving us soon. Does he even care enough about Phillies fans to win tonight?
Isn’t this team aggravating enough without getting mad at obviously skewed and/or made-up stuff? Was Abrams technically available? Yes. We know that. No one met Toboni’s price. (That’s good. Nats didn’t make a trade just to make a trade.) And it’s only gone up. Wood was never available. Come on.
July 2023: “Good to meet you, Dylan.” “Thanks, Mr. Rizzo. So, what sort of development plan would the Nationals have for me if you guys take me at #2?” “Huh? ‘Development plan’? Kid, just go out there and hit the ball hard. Man, get a load of this guy! Development plan. What even is that?”
I don’t want to give Toboni credit for playing three-dimensional chess when he’s actually just playing checkers. But come on…this pickup has to be him making some sort of point to ownership, right?
Incredibly disrespectful use of parentheses. I mean, it’s not wrong. But still.
This team once paid—and is still paying!—Scherzer and Strasburg a combined HALF-BILLION dollars for this kind of production. Griffin is making $5.5 million! He could almost certainly easily be signed to a reasonable extension. Someone poke Mark with a stick.
I suspect Anthony Mackie may have become a Nationals fan in just the past 24 hours or so. But we need celebrity fans, so I’ll take it.
This is how Nationals’ relievers deserve to be treated when they trudge into the dugout.
The same actor who played Archie on Riverdale being cast as Win, is not something I saw coming.
There’s something seriously wrong with these people. It’s not American fans’ fault that Trump doesn’t have boundaries. Shut the fuck up and let people enjoy one of the things that brings them joy in an increasingly bleak world.
Turns out a Pirates player used it just yesterday! Apparently, all the Nationals had to do to make the bullpen cart popular was to wait until global warming became catastrophic in D.C.
Yeah, these guys badly need a victory. Even a purely symbolic one, like getting Hassell back.
I’ve seen a ton of Bob Kane Batman sketches up for auction. They’re all really bland, borderline ugly, and the only reason to buy one is to say that you own a Bob Kane Batman sketch. (Which…you know, fair enough. I wouldn’t be above buying one just for that purpose.) But this is fucking gorgeous.
Every time I begin to question whether American superiority is still a thing, this great country will produce something that immediately reaffirms my faith. 🇺🇸
I feel like we’re at the point where open tryouts would probably make more sense.
Yes, superhero fatigue. Not sexism. It was just a bad choice for a Superman follow-up. Gunn spent that whole first film setting up the world of the new DCU. Then for the next one, 99% of it takes place in space, blunting all the momentum he had. Just suck it up and give the people a Batman film.
I can’t wait for Marvel Day to be in the books so I can stop thinking about this each time they promote the Captain America bobblehead giveaway.
“Weighted-bat training? Bat speed? Get the hell out of here with that new age hippie shit.” - Mike Rizzo
Imagine a team doing a promo night where every fan gets $1,000 in cash. This is basically that. On the bright side, Dodger Stadium might be the only MLB ballpark in America where this can happen without postgame muggings, given that everyone has to drive in and out of the stadium grounds.
Don’t pick up literal explosives just because they come in cute packaging, you fucking morons.
It’s tragic that only 1% of Telematrix players remembers this show. Gary Cole has done nothing but give great performance after great performance over the years, and this is his greatest one of all!