Die Laughing Magazine

@dielaughingmag

Horror stories so funny they'll kill you. Online at dielaughingmag.com. EIC - @probablyharmless.bsky.social and @cassandradaucus.bsky.social. Issue 3 coming soon!

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Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 15

TODAY! IS! THE! DAY!* *The last day to submit to Die Laughing Magazine until subs open again in January 2027 Submission Guidelines here: dielaughingmag.com/a...

Version of the meme where Anakin Skywalker and Padme are sitting in the grass. Anakin says, "I'm writing a scary story." Padme, smiling, asks, "It's funny too, right?" Anakin sits silent. Padme, no longer smiling, says "Right?"

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 14

You have ONE MORE DAY to submit your HILARIFYING story to Die Laughing Magazine! Do it now! Spread the word! Submission guidelines: dielaughingmag.com/a...

Two astronauts stand in the foreground, with a large Earth in the background. One astronaut stands behind the other, holding a gun up to the back of the other astronaut's head. The one at the front says "Horror and humor go together?" and the back one replies "Always have."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 9

Don't make us smack you! Submit your story to Die Laughing Magazine before subs close on July 15. Submission guidelines: dielaughingmag.com/a...

A version of the meme where Batman smacks Robin across the face. In the speech bubble over Robin, he says "You can't laugh at horr..." and in the speech bubble over Batman, he says "You can die laughing!"

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 8

Funny horror is just better! If you agree, submit your story to Die Laughing Magazine before subs close on July 15. Submission guidelines are here: dielaughingmag.com/a...

A version of the I Sleep / Real Shit meme. In the top box, the head of a man with his eyes closed is labeled "I Sleep". The accompanying text reads "horror that frightens." In the bottom box, the man's eyes are open and glowing orange, labeled "Real Shit". The rest of the photo also glows. The accompanying text reads "horror that frightens *and* amuses."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 7

Don't bother trying to change our minds. Instead, help us support our vision to be THE humorous horror magazine! Submit to Die Laughing Magazine before subs close on July 15. Submission Guidelines: dielaughingmag.com/a...

A man is seated at a folding table outdoors on a brick patio, holding a coffee mug. The sign attached to the front of the table has been edited to read, "funny horror is superior," above the original text, "CHANGE MY MIND." Papers, a microphone, and another mug sit on the table. Trees, benches, and buildings are visible in the background.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 6

We couldn't pick, so we made a magazine that wants them both. Don't forget to submit your hilarifying story to Die Laughing Mag before subs close on July 15! We want to read what you are writing! Submission Guidelines: dielaughingmag.com/a...

Two muscular forearms clasping hands. The left arm, labeled "humor," wears a white sleeve; the right arm, labeled "horror," wears a red sleeve. Above their joined hands is the text "Die Laughing Magazine."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jul 1

Open the floodgates and let the humorous horror flow: Die Laughing has opened fiction submissions for issues 7 and 8, today through July 15! Make us laugh! Make us scream! At the same time! Aaaaaaahahahaha!!!! Details at this link. Good luck, hopeful clowns! dielaughingmag.com/a...

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 25

Remember that time we had solar panels installed?

White text on a black background. In the center, an author photograph of Liam Hogan (a bespectacled person looking intensely into the camera in front of a forest background).

Top text: Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 2. Liam Hogan. "Future Light."

Bottom text (a quote from the story): As energy prices soared I installed solar panels on my roof, and in my future.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 24

Remember that time Craig needed more holes?

White text on a black background at the top reads: "Die Laughing Magazine, issue 1, Joe Koch, 'We Were All in Agreement'"

At the bottom, the first line of the story: "We were all in agreement: Craig needed more holes."

In the center, a photograph of a pencil illustration of a smiling character on crutches, which is labeled "Joe" in a youthful scrawl.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 15

Remember that time Die Laughing turned into a recipe blog for a hot second?

White text on black surrounds a photo of a person in a very cool black hat with hair nearly covering eir face. Very witchy.

Text at top reads: Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 1. Malda Marlys, "Auntie Tina’s Kitchen Madness: Grandma’s Apple Pie."

Bottom text is a quote from the story: "You can never go wrong with an apple pie! That's what grandma always said."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 14

Remember that time we learned how to be ALPHA MALES? "Rawdogging Wellness" by Joelle Killian, published in Die Laughing Magazine Issue 6, February 2026. Read it now on our website! dielaughingmag.com/2... #horror #health #alphamale #humor #dielaughing

On a green background, centered, a painting of the author (a person with long, red hair and a nest of snakes on her head a la Medusa) looking over her shoulder toward the viewer. In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Joelle Killian's story "Rawdogging Wellness" is free to read on the Die Laughing Website.

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
Be a REAL MAN, go RAW

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 13

Remember that time a guy just wanted to take good care of his hamster?

White text on a black background. In the center, an illustration of the author (a person with long, dark hair looking toward the viewer).

Top text: Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 2. Emily Gennis. "Nibbles."

Bottom text (a quote from the story): "Why in the hell had Rob left me his damn pet hamster?"

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 8

Remember that time we went on a corporate retreat?

White text on a black background. In the center, a photo of the author reflected in a mirror balanced against a large tree. He is wearing a blue shirt and waving at the camera.

Top text: Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 2. Chris Scott. "Trust Fall."

Bottom text (a quote from the story): As far as team building exercises go, this one has gone about as poorly as you could imagine.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 5

Remember that time Keith went on a romantic getaway with his new girlfriend and her family?

On black background, white text reads: Die Laughing Magazine, issue 1. Vale "Fangs" Vonn, "Trigger Teeth"

In the center is a photograph of a gorgeous black cat in a sunbeam, resting in regal repose, who we can only assume is Vale Vonn.

At the bottom, on gray background, a quote from the story: "He was going to murder them all and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him, least of all Keith himself."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 4

Remember that time Lonnie got bit by a squirrel and went a little... nuts?

A black and white graphic, with text at top and bottom. In the center is a photo of a white fellow who looks rather surprised to see us. At the top, the text reads: "Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 1. L.D. “SQUIRREL!!!” Blevins. “Wrath of the Weresquirrel”" At the bottom, the following story excerpt: "It came to him then, vague flashes of horrible dreams, the tearing of flesh, the baying of dogs, the collecting of various nuts and acorns for winter."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 3

As you may have guessed from all our posts Die Laughing is returning from our hiatus and ready to get back in action! If you have a story that's funny AND frightening, we'd love to see it! We're open for subs JULY 1-15! (You still have time to write something!) Details here: dielaughingmag.com/a...

Image of a clown dressed in black, with a green collar, a red nose and red hair. The clown's eyes are closed, with a coin over each eye, hands crossed over its chest, and the clown's mouth is sewn shut. The clown is dead. The clown is surrounded by lines in the shape of a coffin. The clown is dead. Die Laughing is written over the clown's torso. The clown is called Screwball. The clown is dead.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Jun 1

Remember that time someone killed a bunch of clowns?

on a black background, an author photo of C.J. Subko (looking radiant dressed as the Joker from Dark Knight).

Text at top reads:
"Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 1
C.J. "Killin' Clowns" Subko
"Clown Killer""

A quote from the story at the bottom, on a green background: "The first time was an accident. The clown, he rammed into my knife, officer."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· May 31

Remember that time we met the eligible ladies of Grimstone Creek and their beautiful dresses and glorious teeth?

White text on a black background, with a photo of a smiling, bespectacled woman in a witch hat. At the top, "Die Laughing Magazine, issue 1. Lena "Little Ladies" Ng, "The Grimstone Creek Debutantes' Ball"

Below the photo, white text on a gray background, is a story quote: "Especially got the event, the windows are reinforced with iron bars, but gaily decorated with green vines and blossoms of massive white moonflowers and crimson dahlias."

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Apr 12

Do you have what it takes to be an Alpha? A real man's man? To eat like the apex predator you are? It's good for you, we promise. Now get ready, everyone is watching. "Rawdogging Wellness" by Joelle Killian , the final story of Issue 6, is free to read today. dielaughingmag.com/2...

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Apr 4

The penultimate story in Die Laughing Issue 6 is free to read today! "Love and Blood" by Lili Lang is a story about danger, professional animosity, and, perhaps, budding romance? (It is in the title, after all.) Read it on our website now! dielaughingmag.com/2...

In the center of a black frame, a photo of the author standing in a blue-lit bowling alley wearing a black dress. She is smiling, her right arm held up as though she is about to shout, "ta dah!" In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Lili Lang's story “Love and Blood” is free to read on the Die Laughing Website

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
This meet cute is to die for!

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Mar 22

Our second free flash story from Issue 6 is calling. Will you answer the call? Please? BILLY? Read "Billy Baby" by @zofiawarwick.bsky.social on our website today. It's literally right over here. dielaughingmag.com/2...

In the center of a black frame, a photo of a tuxedo cat (probably not the author, but stranger things have happened) which sits very close to the camera and is a bit out of focus (but still very cute). In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Zofia Warwick’s flash “Billy Baby” is free to read on the Die Laughing Website

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
WHO GOES THERE??

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Mar 16

Our first flash story of Issue 6 brings to you many tiny mouths singing your praises in a symphony of skittering gratitude. "The Brood Thanks You For Your Service" by Abigail Kemske is free to read today at dielaughingmag.com/2.... #horror #humor #dielaughing

In the center of a green frame, a photo of the author wearing a black jacket and a hat shaped like Yoshi from Super Mario World. The author is sticking out her tongue. In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Abigail Kemske's "The Brood Thanks You For Your Service" is free to read on the Die Laughing Website

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
You're an excellent host and you didn't even know it!

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Mar 7

Free to read today is the second story of Issue 6: "Pizza Delivery to Dagon" by Tyler Kurtz! These babes just want to pay for their pizza....or is it something more sinister? Find out for yourself, free on our website! dielaughingmag.com/2...

In the center of a dark gray frame, a photo of the author's feet (we assume it is the author, wearing blue jeans and black boots with slightly pointed toes) standing on a deck, with worn turquoise paint. In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Tyler Kurtz's "Pizza Delivery to Dagon" is free to read on the Die Laughing Website

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
Turns out Dagon's favorite "topping' is HOT SAUSAGE, kwim?

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 27

Watch where you step! The first story from Die Laughing Issue 6 is free to read today, and if you're not careful you might just fall...in love! Read "Hole in the Ground" by Ron Dionne today! dielaughingmag.com/2...

In the center of a blue frame, a photo of the author (a person wearing glasses and a blue ballcap) stands under a palm tree, with the camera tilted up to the sky. In the bottom left corner of the frame, an illustration of a creepy clown peeks out from the corner.

Top text:
Ron Dionne's story "Hole in the Ground" is free to read on the Die Laughing Website

Bottom text, in a speech bubble coming from the clown:
Love is in the air... and under our feet

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 15

We interrupt our usual posting schedule for the end of the world. I mean, a returning author's birthday. Her story in Issue 6 won't be up for a bit, so we wanted to remind you of Joelle Killian 's genius today with her Cummie Award Winning story from Issue 4! dielaughingmag.com/2...

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 14

Finally! It's Here! Happy Valentine's Day from the clowns at Die Laughing Mag. We're hoping to win your hearts with six hilarifying tales the likes of which you've never seen before (because love is blind, and all that). Get the full issue for $5 here! ko-fi.com/s/222d278cc8

Cover of Die Laughing Issue 6. The cover art features a variety of colorful clown-like creatures, shaped as hearts and also some kind of bug. Tongues are also involved.

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 13

It's time for another foray into found fiction for the final installment of Die Laughing Issue 6: "Rawdogging Wellness" by Joelle Killian , our second ever returning author! It's funny, it's horrifying, it's gross, and it will get you in touch with your alpha roots. READ IT TOMORROW!!!

In the center of a green frame, a drawing of the author, sporting pink hair and a wild headful of green snakes.

Top text:
Die Laughing Magazine, Issue 6
Joelle Killian
"Rawdogging Wellness"

Bottom text, a quote from the story:
Yo fam, what's up? Today I wanna tell you about a change that's astronomically improved my health: raw meat!

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 13

Our next story is flash fiction from @zofiawarwick.bsky.social and let's just say....we think it's calling your name. Are you listening? Are you? ARE YOU? Read "Billy Baby" in Die Laughing Issue 6, coming out February 14th!

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 10

Who doesn't love a surprise? Our next story is just chop- I mean...CHOCK-full of unexpected twists. Who knows? Our hero might find true love! As long as he didn't show up unarmed... Read "Love and Blood" by Lili Lang in Issue 6, coming February 14th! How romantic. 🫀

Die Laughing Magazine@dielaughingmag· Feb 9

Cover teaser! We're pleased to have Teresa Galusaurus back with us, and this design is so vibrant and strange and hilarious and we cannot wait to share the whole thing with you! (Well, technically we can. That's why we're giving you a teaser.) Issue 6 is coming 2/14/26! Get ready...