Doris V. Sutherland

@dorisvsutherland

Author of Midnight Widows comic, horror fiction, and enough Doctor Who stuff to get me a TARDIS wiki article. Books editor at womenwriteaboutcomics.com. All opinions are my own.

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Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 23d

Looks like we're in for some heavy-duty Jesuit-bashing. Still waiting for the werewolves.

I sighed as I looked out over my window at the Long Island sound. “Bergolio’s a Jesuit. Pius XIII isn’t too happy with any of them. They’ve been playing with heresy for decades. Liberation theology BS. That sort of thing.” Alex sighed. He paused for a moment, knowing he was going to regret asking for clarification. “Remind me. Liberation what-now?” I considered giving him the full version but decided to make his life easier. “Marxists read the Bible and declare Jesus a Socialist.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

The hero visits an occult shop, and confirms that he's not really a free market advocate.

“In your case, buddy? I can shut you down right now. Hell, give me five minutes of research, I could possibly throw you in jail.” Solari arched a brow. He sensed a deal coming. “Unless…?” “Take your crystal ball, your Ouija board, everything you have that has been touched by Hell to give you this power, and you throw it out. Burn it. Smash it. Then send it to Staten Island or New Jersey where it belongs—in the garbage.” Solari’s eyes narrowed. “And what if I don’t?” “Then I simply enforce the law.” I held up a finger to silence him. “Do yourself a favor—learn to cold-read people. I think it would be better for both you and your client if you were a simple fraud.” He looked surprised. “Really? You’re the morality police now?” I gave him a casual smile and a shrug. “Look. I can’t stop your clients from coming to you. I would if I could, but I can’t. If they don’t go to you, they’ll go somewhere else. Much as I’d like to, I can’t save anyone without their volition. Don’t play with the forces of darkness, I won’t come back. Continue to play around, and you will get burned.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

What's the logic here? She's already accused them of CSA, which is surely serious enough to stand without bringing up their stance on gay marriage. (Plus, if I were Meadowseet, I'd bring up the dad's belief that God can make him levitate)

Meadowsweet continued. “And you’re raising them in an atmosphere of hate.” She flipped to another page. “Your new daughter believes that there are only two genders. She thinks that the transgendered are insane and that marriage is only between a man and a woman. Your son wore a T-shirt that was anti-Muslim. And they both think that abortion is evil.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

Oh, we're doing "nasty queers are trying to smear good, honest Catholic folk as child predators" now. Bit rich from a series where just about every LGBT character (or even LGBT-allied character) has talked like they're at a NAMBLA meeting.

Meadowsweet reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a notebook. She licked her thumb like it was an ice cream cone and started flipping through it. “Your husband wandered off to Europe and then brought himself back a young, good looking, underage blonde child from Eastern Europe. Don’t think you’ve fooled me for a moment.” She eyed Mariel. “Or is she a plaything for you, too? Maybe the other kid?”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

I'm not familiar with controversies regarding the US CPS. Is there any real-world precedent for this, at all? Has there ever been an incident where a CPS worker went into someone's house and started asking about an adopted daughter' bust size?

The old biddy smiled in a queer fashion. Yes, the word no longer meant strange in modern use, but it was the best way I could describe it. “What is she now?” she croaked. “A? C? Small D?” I blinked. My confusion only deepened. “No. She gets straight As. We wouldn’t homeschool her if she was doing badly.” Meadowsweet scoffed at me so hard, she snarled. “Don’t jerk me around. You come back from Europe with a hot teen, and you expect me to think there’s nothing funny going on?” Then the penny dropped. I kept insisting to my confessor that I had a temper. He seemed to think that having a flash of wanting to throw a pedophile out a top-story window was rational and reasonable. But I don’t think he ever truly understood how deep the desire ran or how intense it was. So at moments like that, no one really grasped that yes, I did have a temper. I just hid it well and never acted on it.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

Oh god

I opened the door and smiled at her as pleasantly as I could. “Hello. I’m Detective Nolan. Can I help you, ma’am?” She glowered at me. In a voice that sounded like Harvey Fierstein with a 20-pack-a-day habit, she said, “Did you just assume my gender?” I restrained from rolling my eyes. While I had been away, someone had also thought it was a good idea to make “misgendering” a prosecutable offense. However, that “law” had come and gone as a fad, as soon as the city’s lawyers told someone that the city would get sued (and lose) if they tried to enforce that particular joke of a law. I ignored her stupidity and said, “How can I help you?” She growled. “Shamika Meadowsweet. CPS. I’m here to evaluate your new adoption. Bring me the children.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 24d

I'm reading these as research or an essay on the Satanic Panic in horror literature. According to Goodreads, book 7 has neopagans, which sounds relevant. It also apparently has werewolves, so potential fodder for my Werewolf Wednesday blog column. So... here we go. Book 7.

Apparently, Father Arturo Bergolio was the Superior General of the Society of Jesus. And yes, I checked—he was only a Father. He wasn’t a Bishop or a Cardinal. The photo for Arturo Bergolio showed him with a white buzzcut that narrowed into a widow’s peak. He had a patch of goatee thick enough to be visible in the black-and-white photograph. He carried a huge iron staff with a large cross on the top of it. The headline, below the fold, read “SATAN ISN’T REAL, SAYS TOP SJ.” I sighed. It was more BS about how Satan was “just a metaphor” and how demons and devils weren’t real … I rolled my eyes so hard, I literally hurt something.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 25d

Back in the early 2000s, a (still viewable) fundie site wrote a bunch of articles about the evils of anime, and then published every angry email it received. And I'm telling you, there are some absolute bangers archived there.

Anonymous: In the new Yu-Gi-Oh season it is true that they use Seal Of Oracalcos but only the bad guys and yugi only used it once cause
one of the villians fooled with his mind. But yugi defeated the darkness in the end.

I consider people like you less evolved in the brain and a threat to society. You people shouldn't be allowed to breed cause you might create monsters.Your up there on the list with Asoma Ben Laden and Sadamn Hussien. No!! Your worse. Sadamn and Asoma had resons for doing what they were doing but you people don't.

I hope you realize that your time is up and that the powers of goodness will soon erase people like you.I am going to protect my family from people like you.I love my parents very much and My Dad is a better person than you people will ever be so just stop. Compared to you the Columbine Killers were most likely saits.

I go to Tamms United Methodist Church in Tamms Illinois.

Here www.christiananime.com Read and weap, fanaticals.

Reply: Charles, I’m curious about something. What do you mean by “the powers of goodness will soon erase people like you?” Where do you think such power comes from? Where did you learn about it? And who, besides us, would be erased?

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 26d

Tired: Marvel Cinematic Universe Wired: Marcel Cinematic Marceauniverse

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· 27d

I kind of miss this sort of old-school online wingnuttery.

Pokemon Is A Threat To Our Society
Now, let’s document why Pokemon and other occultic ideas are a threat to our society and world. These kids, youth, and adults are not just playing games. They are having fellowship with devils. It is “deadly” serious and there will be a multitude of lives totally ruined. When I read where individuals state that they are Christians, but still love to play these games, I know immediately that this cannot possibly be true. Individuals can be religious and do anything without any consciousness, but if the person actually has experienced the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, then a spiritual conflict would occur instantly. “Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils. Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?” (I Corinthians 10:21-22).

The event at Columbine High School was not an isolated occurrence.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 13

I still think these posthumous Chick tracts are using AI. What's with the messed-up bicycle on the detransitioner's tshirt? Reminds me of The Prisoner

Panels from the Chick tract "The Real Me".
"When I gave my life to Jesus, I transitioned into the best version of myself I could be" declares a dead-eyed husk

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 9

Thank you to @emma.best, the latest donor to my Patreon! In addition to accessing over 100,000 words of my writing, each subscriber to my Patreon is entitled to their very own cryptid portrait. I turned Emma into a black-eyed kid!

Drawing of Emma Best as a Black-Eyed Kid, complete with hoodie, yo-yo and Mortal Kombat patch

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 7

Modified SJS cartoons strip.

Democrat: Pray didn't help USMNT, did it?
Republican: you're right, God must hate those guys

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 6

Some of those who received the hedgehogs defended the man who made them, saying only some contained explicit content and it was just a mistake.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 6

Then the Virgin Mary turns up. The end.

There was a teenage girl, sitting in the bench. She was pretty in a vague sort of way. She had long black hair, vaguely Semitic features. She had a deep tan, a complexion that described her as Persian, perhaps Egyptian. She was definitely from somewhere in the Middle East. Israeli? I thought. And I started to get a hint of an explanation. She wore blue jeans and a loose-fitting white sweater. It wasn’t exactly a crown of stars and a blue gown, but I suspected that she only dressed up for special occasions. I relaxed. “My son asked me what you were like,” I told her. “Should I call him out so you two can talk?” She gave me an enigmatic little smile. “I don’t think so.” She patted the seat next to her. “Sit. Please. You and I should chat about a few things.” I sat. “Jeremy tells me that, usually, conversations like this come before all the charisms. If not with you, than with your Son.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 6

SPOILERS The protag vanquishes Tiamat with prayer+the Indiana Jones artefact from two books earlier, his two horrible friends sadly survive, and hus 12-year-old son gives a recap that's not measurably distinct from the rest of the prose

Jeremy crashed into me next, turning it into a full tackle. “Dad dad dad! That was awesome! The dragon was like I am a god, and you’re like puny god, and blam and you hit it with the beam from the Death Star and—”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

This seems familiar.

The red skull fired a stream of lightning. The orange mouth spit fireball after fireball. The mouth on the yellow dragon unleashed a torrent of violet flame. The green mouth unleashed a stream of red-hot, boiling acid. The blue, indigo, and violet dragon heads unleashed streams that mirrored the heads on the other side.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

IF THEY'RE LIVID THEN THEY'RE NOT RED AND ORANGE ARE THEY

Tiamat stopped moving forward. The red and orange heads turned towards me. They were livid. But they were paying attention.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

oh shut up

“Tiamat!” I bellowed. “As a sworn officer of the city of New York, I hereby place you under arrest. For murder. For sacrilege. For blasphemy.” I looked down the beach as the wreckage from the tsunami became clearer. “For massive property damage. You have the right to remain silent, so shut your mouths.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

I love how the author just gives up devising elemental attacks

Tiamat reared back and roared in defiance at God and Heaven. The red head shot balls of fire from her mouth to the sky. The orange unleashed a stream of fire. The mouth on the yellow dragon unleashed a torrent of lightning that lit up the clouds with electricity, which she distributed and unleashed back upon the Earth like a bombing run. The green mouth unleashed a stream of red-hot, boiling acid. The blue, indigo, and violet dragon heads unleashed streams that mirrored the heads on the other side.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

This book won an award. (An award created by one of the author's friends, granted, but still)

I had to stop Tiamat. Even if it killed me, and my family, and my friends. It had to go back to Hell. Only without Sinead and the package she carried from Rome, there was nothing I could think of that could stop the Cthulhu demon. Behind me, Whateley laughe at me. At us. At the world. At God. I’d had enough. My golem arms were still intact, as were the legs. I pushed of

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

Oh God. He's doing it. He's using the Dungeons and Dragons version of Tiamat. (Except the D&D Tiamat doesn't have a head for every colour of the rainbow. I suppose this is LGBTiamat.)

The fins broke through the water, and the smooth arc of heads started to come up. It was like seven kaiju were ready to break the surface any minute. Each dragon head that broke through the surface was bigger than a house. Each head was a different color. From right to left, they were red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Before it even rose out of the water, I knew that all of the necks snaked down to one trunk of a body. Tiamat was rising.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

Two of the protagonist's rancid mates killed in one blow?!? Dare I get my hopes up?!?!?

The horns speared through both Pearson and Alex. The horn pierced Alex in the right ribcage, leaving a hole the size of a softball in his chest. The cards fell from his hands as he was taken off his feet, and he screamed. Pearson was run through the stomach. Kusarikku pinned them both up against the cliff-side. Blood came out of Alex’s mouth in great globs. Pearson only had a little leaking from his lip. Kusarikku ripped his head out of the wall and out of both of my partners. They dropped to the ground, bleeding out right in front of me.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

I'm not sure what the point of the Cthulhu Mythos trappings, given that the book seems to be deriving pretty literally from real-world mythology.

It was not a minotaur, but Kusarikku. He was a spawn of Tiamat who had preceded “her.” Kusarikku had the arms, torso, and head of a human; but the ears, horns and hindquarters were solid bull. As Tiamat represented sea salt in its mythology, Kusarikku represented mountains. Like the cliffs that it pummeled Baracus into. I swept up the Necronomicon with both hands and whirled on Whateley, smashing him in the face with it. Then with a whirl, I hurled the book into the bonfire. Whateley’s eyes went wide, and he hurled himself after the book.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

Legion serves Cthulhu.

Standing before the bonfire, facing the acolytes, was Professor Noah Whateley. He had changed out of his smoking jacket into a robe of brilliant scarlet. His hood was back, so I saw him clearly in the light from the flames. Whateley read aloud from the Necronomicon. The only phrase I caught was Ia! Ia!Cthulhu Fhtagn! Ia! Ia! I was only ten yards away when I stopped. A gentle breeze blew behind me. I let it carry my call to Whateley. “So, Professor. Do I call you Curran? Or do I call you Legion?”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

God, the pop culture references. We go from Ghostbusters (despite getting a quip about Gozer two chapters earlier) to Alice in Wonderland to Ghostbusters again, then... is that Watchmen? (I'm giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming that Tiamat arrived via Mesopotamian mythology rather than D&D)

Matchett’s focus locked on me like a hungry squid, and he spoke as fast as his health would allow. “All I needed to do at the end was raise a demon incarnate. For that, I needed a host of the possessed to lead the rituals. I needed the right books. All of the right books. And in the end, the last thing was to choose the form of the destroyer.” Alex looked at me like he had fallen down a rabbit hole. He whispered, “I hope to God he doesn’t say the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.” Matchett sighed and groaned at the same time. “The best I could do for my masters was raise … Tiamat.” He gasped for breath as the demons increased their pace, feeding on his soul. Pearson thumbed through his breviary in front of Matchett. The old bastard kept talking, but this time, he gave one last smile. “And … the ritual … already … started… an hour ago.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

Seeing the villain flip from a skin-crawling antisemitic caricature to a garbled parody of the pro-Palestine lobby is genuinely bizarre. And rancid.

Matchett had a flicker of grin. “When they complained, I would add another wing to the mansion. They would go under the floorboards. Checks would go out to the right people, and the girls would have never existed. And I was Jewish. Any accusation was anti-Semitism.” He gave another horrid, hacking laugh. Packard nodded slowly. “And you were driven out of Germany?” He rolled his eyes. “They call it currency manipulation. I call it good investments.” “I’m surprised you didn’t move to Israel.” Matchett smiled. “That racist country? Never! Build a synagogue near Palestinians? How dare they! Make gardens and farms out of the desert? The desert is the culture of Islam!” he declared with a laugh. He seemed to get stronger the more he elaborated on his works, reveling in his cleverness. His eyes drifted around the room, not focusing on anyone or anything.

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

Who's to blame for the Catholic Church harbouring child molesters? According to this novel, an Evil Atheist Jew. God, this book is vile.

Pearson still had his hands clasped in front of him, but they had tightened. The knuckles became white with rage. The priest kept his hostility out of his voice. “You paid people to let pederasts into the priesthood and keep good men out?” Matchett glanced at Pearson, then gave another cough and laugh at the same time. “Bah! Good men. No such thing. Goodness is just one maggot on a pile of shit yelling at another maggot. Both of them telling the other what’s right or wrong.” He frowned, a mocking scold. “And please. They are pedophiles. They merely love children? And who doesn’t love children?” He cackled, his voice becoming slightly stronger. “It’s just another lifestyle. Heh.” Packard cocked his head. “Nice,” he pandered. “You promoted priests, and they became child molesters. But out in the secular realm, it was just another lifestyle. Impressive balancing act.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

The Evil Secular Jew groats about banning Christmas. This could be read as a parody of Lovecraft's bigotry, except that the writer's clearly being sincere.

“From there, it was easy. Rights didn’t come from God. They came from the state. If the states gave the people their rights, they could take them away. This upsets the people. When the people become upset, a few money transfers to the right people starts a war! Ha!” The dreamy smile came back. Who knew that reliving the havoc of wars and revolutions could be nostalgic? “But the real fruit has been harvested in the last few years. My lawyers have all but shut down Christmas. In a few years, no one will be able to hang Christmas lights in their front yard, lest they make atheists uncomfortable. I gave money to the right people to become priests and enter seminaries so they could filter out any with a sense of resolve.” His eyes narrowed, sly and cunning. “The socialists have it right, you know, words have all the power. Redefining having a moral code as ‘moral rigidity’ has kept more people out of the seminary than the more … heh … unnatural appetites.”

Doris V. Sutherland@dorisvsutherland· Jul 5

The author's clearly multiple varieties of bigot, but until now, his portrayal of Jewish people has at least been sympathetic. Turns out he's only cool with practicing Jews. Secular Jews get *this* treatment.