Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con

@dracothelizard

Here for the gay pirates. Fandom Old. 🇪🇺. Multishipper. Mod for the Gateway Server. Occasionally I share explicit fic so 🔞. I wrote that Stede/the Revenge fic where she has his dinghy.

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Bluesky

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¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y dracothelizard.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· May 30

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Apr 29

If you saw the crochet unicorns that @blackdelphinium.bsky.social made for the Fandom Market and you thought 'I bet they'd love to go on an adventure!', good news, that's the RBB I'm writing based on Del's prompt! In which Izzycorn meets Frenchiecorn, and plushies Jim, Archie and Oluwande are nosy

“Here, you get a friend!” Geraldo shifts the cardboard box to one arm, and reaches inside with the other.

What.

The.

Fuck?

Geraldo’s taken out a unicorn.

Another crochet unicorn. Just like him.

Sure, the new unicorn is made from a light brown yarn with dark brown on top for a mane, not grey like Izzy, and their horn is made from the same brown as his body while Izzy’s horn is a bright yellow, but otherwise, they’re exactly the same.

Izzy senses the surprise radiating from the other three when Geraldo places the brown unicorn next to Izzy, between him and Oluwande. Geraldo hums to himself and pushes the unicorn back a little so their back rests against Oluwande’s side.

“All right, what else have we got?” Geraldo frowns at the box and sighs. “Great, more fucking romance novels. Geez, why can’t people donate comics?” He shakes his head as he walks away, still complaining about the books.

“All right, what else have we got?” Geraldo frowns at the box and sighs. “Great, more fucking romance novels. Geez, why can’t people donate comics?” He shakes his head as he walks away, still complaining about the books.

When Geraldo turns the corner, Archie, Jim and Oluwande bombard the other unicorn with questions, and Izzy tries to move away, but only ends up pressed against Archie’s tail.

“Who are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“Where did you come from?”

“What happened to your kid?”

“Are you two related?”

“Archie, plushies can’t be related!”

“Of course they can, Olu! Look at them! They’re so similar! They gotta be related, they’re —”

“We’re not related,” Izzy snaps, before Archie can say anything more ridiculous. “We’re just made the same way.” The same crochet…pattern? That’s the word humans use for it, right?

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Apr 27

I blame #theweecon: archiveofourown.org/works/83855891

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Relationship Prince Ricky Banes/Stede Bonnet
Characters: Prince Ricky Banes Imaginary Stede Bonnet
Additional Tags: Canon Era Masturbation The Ricky/Stede is one-sided maginary Gloating Imaginary Humiliation wanking jerking off Ricky Banes Has Issues

Dracothelizard
Summary: (In italics, this is a quote from the fic) The thought of seeing Bonnet again, and even better, seeing him on his knees, makes Ricky’s stomach clench with desire.

Ricky bites his lip. Oh, he shouldn’t. It’s not becoming a minor prince to masturbate over the thought of a defeated enemy.

(italics end, this is a regular summary line) Ricky has a wank while thinking about having Stede beg for mercy.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Apr 15

I mean if Wild Wild West has an episode where the local saloon is called The Glory Hole & another where Jim has to bridal carry Artie, I'm gonna have to write fic about them Have a snippet of Jim discovering the glory hole in The Glory Hole and guess who is on the other side! #wipwednesday #nsfw

Screenshot from the Wild Wild West in which Jim West, who is wearing a dark hat and a blue suit, is looking at a guy who wears glasses, a brown bowler hat and a brown suit. The subtitles say 'He's likely over the Glory Hole'.

Surrounded by trees, Jim West is wearing a blue suit and has an unconscious Artemus Gordin, who wears a brown suit, in his arms to bridal carry him

"No, not like that." Artemus's tone is firm, as is his grip on Jim's cock. "I set the pace. Understood?"

Jim's breathing is ragged against the wood separating them. He feels the heat of his own breath, hears the echo around the room. He wonders if his heartbeat is just as loud, just as audible to the man on the other side as it is to him.

"Understood?" Artemus repeats, and his grip tightens.

Jim's knees buckle and a whimper escapes from his lips. He's glad that the wall is strong enough to hold him up while his world is turned upside down. He's heard Artie be firm before, of course. But rarely has his partner been firm with him, and never with a hand around his cock.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Mar 15

The result of my first (and possibly last) @stands.bsky.social event! #HeatedPiracy The crack is 100% intentional, I meant to do that, it's symbolic. Also, she is as delicious as a virgin on her wedding night.

Picture of a light yellow cheesecake with a slight orange brown burn at an edge and a crack down the middle on a white plate on a wooden table

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Mar 7

www.32auctions.com/organization... Custom bracelet! Max 10 characters in the Latin alphabet where I added the caveat that the colours are limited to yarn I already have, but never added a picture of the colours I have. So here you go

Picture of 13 balls of yarn
Top row, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple
Bottom row, light pink, white, light blue, teal, grey, bright pink
Black ball is in the middle

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Feb 27

One of those things is this lil guy! (Who may have a buddy with a 🏳️‍🌈 flag background...)

Background is a wooden table. A friendship bracelet that depicts mothman with a trans flag as a background lies on the table

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Feb 27

🎉🎉🎉

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Feb 27

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Feb 12

I still need to add three letters

Black background with grey ducttape at the top holding down my macramee project of dark blue yarn with light blue yarn spelling out FUCK

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 29

Elmo on fire is already done, but other craft plans include but aren't limited to queer friendship bracelets and perhaps a queer mothman thing

Macrameed bookmark showing Elmo with his hands raised against a fiery background

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 27

Mark Owen is right and he should say it. (To the question what they'd bring back from the 90s)

Image of Take That taken from the Instagram of magicfm and greatesthitsuk at the premiere of the Netflix documentary. Gary Barlow is wearing a nice grey suit and a black shirt underneath and looking at Mark Owen answering a question in a pink microphone. Mark's wearing a grey/white stripey shirt. Howard Donald is wearing a grey jacket over a white shirt and looking at the journalist.
Yellow text overlaid 'the crop top' which is Mark's answer to the question of what he'd bring back from the 90s.

Image of Take That taken from the Instagram of magicfm and greatesthitsuk at the premiere of the Netflix documentary. Mark Owen answering a question in a pink microphone but looking at Gary offscreen. Mark's wearing a grey/white stripey shirt. Howard Donald is wearing a grey jacket over a white shirt.
Yellow text overlaid 'the crop top loved me' which is Mark's answer to the question of what he'd bring back from the 90s.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 24

It's the last day of #ofmdroachweek, but obviously every week can be Roach week! Today's prompts are Someone makes a meal for Roach/Someone takes care of Roach, and rec your favourite Roach fanwork! We also have 17 works in the collection: archiveofourown.org/collections/...

Image if of Pete, Roach, Buttons Stede, Oluwande and Wee John from Our Flag Means Death season two, standing under a broken bridge in the rain.
Text: Roach Week - 18/1 - 24/1
Saturday the 24th of January
Someone makes a meal for Roach/Someone takes care of Roach/rec your favourite Roach fanwork
#ofmdroachweek
AO3 link

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 23

Today's prompt for #ofmdroachweek is Allergies. I hope you're not allergic to wonderful fanworks, because there's 14 in the collection so far! archiveofourown.org/collections/...

Background - Roach, Oluwande, the Swede and Frenchie are on the Revenge and listening attentively. Roach looks intrigued, Frenchie looks suspicious, and the Swede looks confused.
Text - Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1
Friday 23rd of January - Allergies
#ofmdroachweek
Link to AO3 collection

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 22

Day 5 of #ofmdroachweek! Today's prompts are savoury and surgery. As always, share your work with the collection and don't forget to savour the 13 (!!) works already there! archiveofourown.org/collections/...

Background of Roach and Fang from Our Flag Means Death looking extremely unimpressed. Roach has his arms folded across his chest

Text: Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1
Thursday the 22nd of January - Savoury/Surgery
#ofmdroachweek
Link to AO3 collection

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 21

It's still #ofmdroachweek! AO3 is down but you can enjoy or post to the collection once it's back up! archiveofourown.org/collections/... And obviously you can share a #wipwednesday snippet!

Background is Roach from Our Flag Means Death. He is wearing a chef's hat and holds a cleaver. He is clearly ready to fight. He wears a purple waistcoat over a white shirt.
Text: Roach Week - 18/1 - 24/1

Wednesday the 21st of January - Sour/Burn
#ofmdroachweek

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 20

Today's prompt for #ofmdroachweek is bitter / headache! archiveofourown.org/collections/... And we have 9 works in the collection so far! Go feast on them like you would Roach's 40 orange cake.

Screenshot from Our Flag MEans Death, in which Roach holds a wedding cake and screams. Pete stands next to him holding a club and is also screaming.
Text: Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1
Tuesday 20th of January - Bitter/Headache
#ofmdroachweek
Link to the collection

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 19

I haven't seen this kind of spam comment on AO3 before. I think the spammer's goal is to scare/upset me, so not like those 'I am totally an artist!!' spam comments

Davechicken (Guest) left the following comment on Sugar Sweet (If Only They All Knew):
Your ability to weave complex themes into such an engaging plot is something I strive for in my own life, and I am always so impressed by the level of detail you put into every single paragraph you write. But I have to be honest and tell you that I am deeply saddened by the fact that there are no trans characters in this story yet. I am pleading and begging with you to change this because leaving us out feels like a subtle but painful transphobia that makes it hard for me to fully enjoy the brilliance of your prose. I felt such a strong pull to help you that I looked you up on social media and checked the phone book until I found your address. Finding out that we live in the same state felt like a miracle, and I knew right then that I had to reach out in a more personal way. I will be coming over to your place this weekend so that we can have a polite, in-depth conversation about including transgender characters in your upcoming updates. I really want to help you see how much better your story could be with a more diverse cast, and I think a personal visit is the best way for us to communicate these very important ideas.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 19

It's day 2 of #ofmdroachweek! We have 4 works in the collection: archiveofourown.org/collections/... Does someone have a fever? Or has Roach made salty food?

Background image has Roach and Archie from Our Flag Means Death in a forest. They are both wearing the navy uniforms over their regular clothes. Archie looks to the side and Roach looks alarmingly gleeful
Text - Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1
Monday the 19th of January - Salt/Fever
#ofmdroachweek
Followed by a link to the AO3 collection

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 18

It's #ofmdroachweek and today's prompts are Sweet / Wound! Share your work in the collection: archiveofourown.org/collections/... and/or share it by using the hashtag!

Background image is Roach from OFMD looking pensive and to the right in front of the sea and standing by the railing.
Text: Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1
Sunday 18th of January - Sweet/Wound
#ofmdroach
And a link to the AO3 collection

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 17

OFMD fandom, we have a chance to do something very funny for #ofmdroachweek 😂 (Roach from The Witcher is Geralt's horse, btw, and I'm sure she 100% has the brain cell)

Drop down menu from AO3 with
Roach is the Best (The Witcher)
Roach Ships It (The Witcher)
Roach Has the Brain Cell (The Witcher)
POV Roach (Our Flag Means Death)
Roach is So Done (The Witcher)

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 14

Have some sweet Roach/Fang for #wipwednesday!

Fang hums in thought. “You said you wanted me to be sweet, right? And that this was gonna be relaxing?”

“Exactly. I want to take care of you,” Roach tells him.

“So you’re not gonna, I don’t know, tell me to turn over so you can spank me if I forget to call you ‘sir’?” Fang asks.

“Not today, no,” Roach replies, but it is a nice thought. “Maybe some other time, if you like.”

Fang lets out a wistful sigh. “I’ve never been spanked. I don’t even know if I enjoy it!”

Well, that won’t do. “We can do that next time,” Roach assures him. He has some paddles stashed away in the back of the kitchen cupboards as well. They’re too much for a first time, but maybe, if Fang enjoys it… No, he’s getting ahead of himself. “But this time, I want you to lie there and relax for me, and do as I say. And if you don’t like something, just tell me,” he adds. “And if you can’t speak, tap my arm or leg to get my attention.”

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jan 11

Next week it's #ofmdroachweek! Prepare your fics/fanart/podfic/meta/fic recs :D The collection is open! archiveofourown.org/collections/...

Image of Roach from OFMD standing by the rail - he looks pensive Text: Roach Week 18/1 - 24/1 Let's celebrate everyone's favourite cook/surgeon/inventor of peanut paste! Lower text box Sunday - Sweet / Wound Monday - Salt / Fever Tuesday - Bitter / Headache Wednesday - Sour / Burn Thursday - Savoury / Surgery Friday - Allergies Saturday - Someone makes a meal for Roach / Someone takes care of Roach / Rec your favourite Roach fanwork!

Image of Roach from Our Flag Means Death in the galley. He is wearing a chef's hat, a fancy outfit and a white apron. He's carrying his cleaver and is about to attack Text: Roach Week - 18/1 - 24/1 Let's celebrate everyone's favourite cook/surgeon/inventor of peanut paste! Lower text box Each fanwork should be Roach-centric. This doesn't mean it has to be from Roach's POV. If you want to write a fic from Auntie's POV where she catches Roach trying to steal a soup recipe, go for it! Open to all types of fanwork - fic, art, podfic, etc Open to all platonic and romantic ships featuring Roach Open to all ratings Please use #ofmdroachweek Please use the AO3 collection - https://archiveofourown.org/collections/OFMDRoachWeek Don't be a dick

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Dec 23

I got into macramee this year and made this bookmark for The Wee Con raffle!

Macrameed bookmark that's two white cats on a black background with six braids at the bottom from multi-coloured yarn

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Dec 17

For #wipwednesday, the WIP I'm currently posting, my December Drabbles/Advent Calendar drabbles: archiveofourown.org/works/75092651 Couples/duos I've written about so far: #ofmdfic

1. Lucius/Pete (2025-12-01)
2. Frenchie/Roach (2025-12-02)
3. Fang & Wee John (2025-12-03)
4. Archie/Jim/Oluwande (2025-12-04)
5. Ed/Stede (2025-12-05)
6. The Swede & Frenchie (2025-12-06)
7. Pete & Izzy (2025-12-07)
8. Zheng & Roach (2025-12-08)
9. Lucius/Fang (2025-12-09)
10. Jim/Jackie (2025-12-10)
11. Frenchie & Oluwande (2025-12-11)
12. Stede & Wee John (2025-12-12)
13. Ed & Auntie (2025-12-13)
14. Izzy & Roach (2025-12-14)
15. Archie & Pete (2025-12-15)
16. The Swede/Jackie (2025-12-16)
17. Zheng/Oluwande (2025-12-17)

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Dec 3

Have a snippet for #wipwednesday!

When Fang suggested they sail north to avoid most of the navy ships, Izzy had nodded in agreement. No point in taking on an enemy you couldn’t defeat.

But now here they are, further north than some of the crew has ever been, and Izzy remembers why Edward preferred the Caribbean. When winter comes, the wind turns cold, the skies are grey, and the sun sets so much earlier. It reminds Izzy of being back home.

He left home for a reason.

The best way to stay warm, he finds, is to stay busy. If he’s busy, he can’t dwell on how cold he is or how the raindrops are like ice running down his cheeks and the back of his neck. If he’s busy, he can’t think about the nights back home under a leaky roof and a threadbare blanket, his older sister shivering beside him.

Izzy is focused on coiling a length of rope, because fucking hell, he’s not having a tripping hazard like that on deck, not when it’s pelting down like this.

“All right, time to get you below deck!”

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Dec 2

I hate that 'blandly positive comment' now makes me suspicious but also 🚩

Comment on If You Open Up Your Mind
StellarDraft on Chapter 2Tue 02 Dec 2025 10:43PM CET

Wow, this chapter was a blast to read. I love how naturally the banter flows between all three of them—there’s this great mix of awkwardness, tension, and affection that just feels very them. Ed’s whole “I can fix this” vibe had me grinning, and Izzy’s stubborn denial was pitch perfect. The slow shift from comedy to honest vulnerability was handled really smoothly, especially with Stede trying to navigate his own feelings. And the way you balance the sexy undercurrent with genuine character development? Chef’s kiss. Looking forward to whatever chaos they cook up next.

Dracothelizard on Chapter 2Tue 02 Dec 2025 11:13PM CET
My cat facepalming
Thank you! Edward is very determined!

StellarDraft on Chapter 2Tue 02 Dec 2025 11:21PM CET

Edward really is, and that’s why I’m loving this story so much By the way, I had a small idea I thought you might like. If you’re ever open to chatting about your writing, we could connect somewhere else Discord, Insta, email, whatever’s easiest for you

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Nov 21

Okay so the prompt for this was 'denying you had an orgasm' but: archiveofourown.org/works/399892...

"Oh, Ed!" Stede kisses him again and again. "You lovely man!" He runs his fingers down the breeches, making Ed's breath hitch. "You know what I really like about these?"

"The colour?" Ed guesses.

"They're fall front breeches," Stede tells him, and Ed frowns at that.

Yeah, he noticed that when he put them on, but what does that have to do with anything? "And?"

Stede looks down at Ed's groin, his fingertips running down the row of buttons. Ed sucks in a breath at the featherlight touch. "Well, they open in the front, don't they? You can see the appeal."

"I think I can, yeah," Ed says, grinning. "Been thinking about that, have you?" He wants to know every dirty little fantasy in Stede's mind so he can make them all come true one by one.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jul 25

Screenshot from our flag means death episode 1x4 in which Ed peers down at a wounded Stede. The label made to be loved licked and topped has been skillfully edited onto Stede's bare chest. Definitely very skillfully.

Draco the Lizard - The Wee Con@dracothelizard· Jul 21

It's fine, Jeffrey remains unharmed! *hums Kids by Robbie Williams and Kylie*