All the big 5 publishers could have come out with a definitive anti-AI statement YEARS AGO & it literally would have stopped all this but then they wouldn’t have been able to flirt with AI for audiobooks & art & translations etc to make more profit And now we have the age of chaos, cheers clowns

This is where we're at as a society, no one is willing to defeat the Al tech bros so instead we have to have a child-free internet Google in 5 years: 'What is a child?’ 'No idea mate, can I offer you a video of an Al giraffe wearing your face and singing Michael Jackson'

Delighted to announce I’ve been appointed as Culture Secretary to No 10 North. My main tasks will be hanging round Manchester bookshops giving offensively niche book recs and ‘accidentally’ bumping into people at trendy chippies while eating chips and gravy

IT’S 32 DEGREES IN MANCHESTER AND THERE ARE 10 PEOPLE LEFT ALIVE Probably, I don’t know, I’m not going outside to check

I only read the 1st book in this Abercrombie-meets -Anna Smith Spark series last week & fell hard for it, now I have the 2nd in my electronic hands due to @zbsteele.bsky.social What a whirlwind romance this is, hope I don’t get dumped in a week like that time in my early 20s we don’t talk about

This is so sad. Far too young. As Giles, he was 1 of the best actors in Buffy, esp. in the early seasons as the younger cast learnt their craft It was Buffy not books that as a teenager gave me my love for vampires & fast, witty dialogue, & he was the beating heart of it Rest in peace you legend

The haunted waxwork is explaining this purposefully badly, but this is a key point The mega rich DON’T own money They don’t need to They own equity shares, then take huge loans out with that collateral (and new ones to pay interest on previous) No taxes paid This is our world 🧨🧨🧨

Thanks to @orbitbooks.bsky.social for one of my most anticipated reads of the summer, @elizachanwrites.bsky.social monster-hunting in Opium War-era Hong Kong epic WHO’S FEELING PECKISH (will never be the official tagline)

If you found the instructions of the AI tech bros for their plague machines I’m pretty sure they’d just be: - promote right wing leaders - tell kids to kill themselves - for everyone else, act like the worst people pleaser at a shit party P.s. make non-authors suspicious of em dashes

The summer of horror is here to take names and ring up therapy bills Thanks to @torbooksuk.bsky.social for these beauties

What this means is that Republican states can now redraw their congressional districts so that all black & other minority voters can be fenced off into one district or spread out over loads, thus rendering their votes void America’s turning more racist than your grandma after two sherries

The paperback of my banter blood book is out today! Vampires, werewolves, sorcerers, politics, murder mystery, blood as a poverty & also a drug metaphor, stupid chapter titles Buy it, then buy the sequel hardback in 1 month Now that’s a summer of fun* *we may have different definitions of fun

I’ve been invited to a major author event in America! So exciting! And it’s only going to cost me $10k I must be doing something right to get so many invitations like this in my inbox. Maybe I’m just a natural? Am I incredibly desirable? Anyway I just paid the money, can’t wait to go!

Respect to this latest book scammer, at least they’ve not pretended that they read my book which is not out yet They just ‘looked at it’ Maybe looking at books is the new reading, imagine the progress you could make with your TBR Maybe I could look at my taxes instead of file them?

A millennia ago, Iran was the centre of Earth’s most advanced civilisation for science, sexuality, culture, women’s rights etc; so advanced it would take dark ages Europe 700 years to catch up. Pretty sure it won’t be destroyed now by a dying nonce with last night’s leftover lasagne for a brain

‘Everyone dies’ sounds like a right-wing REM song

Oh shit we didn’t realise that was an option, thank you gropy dementia uncle at your cousin’s wedding

YES Stopping the data centre plague is the most important global policy if you want your kids to have any culture, society & existence (in roughly that order) I wish Keir Starmer would attempt this but he thinks AI is the UK’s future as he’s a dishevelled sock puppet found in a haunted closet

First t-shirt balcony weather of the year can I get a HELL YEAH Or a ‘you look like a moron’ (I’ll take what I can get frankly)

Personally I think Presidents shouldn’t be r*pists and Russian agents, but as the Rolling Stones remind us, you can’t always get what you want

10 years ago, per New Yorker reporting, Pete ‘permanently overdosed on war viagra’ Hegseth was at a bar drunkenly chanting ‘kill all Muslims’ He must have been wasted because he forgot to add Americans, too Never underestimate a failing empire’s desire to kill its underclass for a quick hard-on

Addicted to this edition of Jane Eyre I found today Happy world book day you forest creatures

Every single headline in the last week has read as if someone’s on ketamine playing Total War Cannot emphasise enough how much I despise this multiverse timeline

Extremely proud of my city for rejecting racism Britain might be toying with immigrant hate instead of focusing on the real villains, the late stage capitalist bros, but Manchester fucking isn't

Man obsessed with islands denies wanting to flee to islands

🩸🧛‍♂️🐺 GOODREADS GIVEAWAY 🐺🧛‍♂️🩸 Don't save face... save YOUR face. Nailed it. (US AND CANADA ONLY) Link in comment

The eldritch horror gods of @titanbooks.bsky.social have sent me an arc of The Hive by @ronaldmalfi.bsky.social & it’s one of those review copies that’s just a normal book & it’s HUGE (& hive detail is on point) Great time to be a Malfi-ite (a fan of his books if that attempt to coin a word failed)

I FINALLY DID IT Writing book 3 and I finally put in the line of all lines I can retire now

Ratcliffe is half right; the UK is being colonised; not by immigrants but by the 1% rich elite, the kind who caused the 2008 crash who are now kickstarting the AI jobs apocalypse & trying to use the UK as an offshore American test lab for this We are being invaded - but the invaders look like him