Philip K. Shtick
@ericsbest
Inside us there are two Ringos trying to write a song. One about an octopus. The other about a garden. Make them kiss.
The economy was taking off when Trump took office. He’s piloting that rocket like Elon Musk on a Special K bender.
Smile, a 9 year-old and a marmoset are going to dump creamed corn on your head just in time for the police arrive
I’ve been out of the loop and didn’t realize there was a new Toy Story, but who do sue for stealing my idea from 6 years ago? Disney or Pixar?
One of my favorite things about that stupid election was how much they tried to sell Kerry as a cool snow zaddy.
They’re really trying to get some mileage out of the “bullets go from left to right” line even though it’s complete bs
GUMSHOE. JD Vance has stolen the torch from the Statue of Liberty! Our villain was last seen embarrassing himself in Hungary helping Viktor Orban lose an election rigged in his favor. Your assignment: apprehend Vance and return the torch before Lady Liberty’s light goes out. We’re counting on you!
“So, I think I got Iran to consider switching the Strait of Hormuz to a subscription model”
When you need to put something mildly, it’s hard not to go with the midnight all-caps rage tweet.