The core of existential despair is contained within the fact that we only get to live once. Life comes and goes, each minute never to return. And the worst part is, none of our life gets to be lived in the Sombrero Galaxy.

The actual most remarkable thing about the "Hand of God" goal is that Maradona is clearly like two feet shorter than the English goalie and is still out jumping him by a foot. Like, my dude, hand or no hand how is that possible.

Ecuador's coach looks like he's from a 90s comedy where Ben Stiller or whoever inadvertently finds themselves coaching a World Cup team.

big things happening in the NFL

Not gonna lie I was not expecting them to have a 1500 page book of the works of Aristotle at the Atlanta airport.

Ah yes, because if there is one thing humans hate doing, it is choosing who they want to fuck.

Look, I'll be the first to admit I'm no marketing wiz, but I feel like drinking and driving just aren't a natural pairing for cross promotion. I've got a gut feeling on that one.

I googled how to tell if something is a spider bite and came across this fantastic diagnostic criteria. I've created an illustrated guide in case anyone else needs help.

Will someone tell this fucking idiot that they already finished making Uber? The app is done my dude. It works. You made $10 billion dollars last year. Time to stop sowing and start reaping, and maybe let your employees take a vacation, or hug their child on the weekend or something once in a while.

AI actually is causing a lot of unemployment in tech. Not because it has been able to successfully replace anyone's job, but because the big tech companies are all gambling so much on becoming trillionaires that they have to throw tens of thousands of workers into unemployment to pay for it.

Possible solution to the Strait of Hormuz?

If Iran blows up Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos I promise you here and now that I WILL convert to Islam and join the Butlerian Jihad.

Always a good time these days to repost this slide from an IBM internal presentation in 1979.

if i were a boxer i would simply spray insulation foam inside my skull, rendering me IMMUNE to all knockouts, and easily become world champion of the world

Vodka Drunkenski, the Soviet boxer in Nintendo's 1984 arcade game "Super Punch-Out!!" was renamed to "Soda Popinski" for the NES release of "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" in 1987, in what many have described as the first instance of "political correctness gone mad".

Remembering the biggest blowout in Superbowl history, when Robert Mueller and the Rule of Law got dismantled by the unhinged mob 54-3 in Superbowl LI.

Sit them down and make them watch. Unironic de-nazification of the United States.

Found it lol. First of all, "singing in the church" and "admitting mistakes" are NOT manly, so jot that down. "Walk towards people" and "make a decision" are a little mysterious, and no where does he mention punching things??

So much respect for the NFL players that wear those dork ass extra pads on their helmets. Imagine being brave enough to look that stupid just because you "want your brain to still work into your 50s."

Had to put down my cat last night, but it gives me solace that he died doing what he loves (trying to bite the vet). I do not wish for him to rest in peace, for peace was not in his heart so long as there was injustice (the aforementioned vet, dogs existing, etc) May he battle forever in Valhalla.

oh shit you guys oh no

The solution the "male loneliness epidemic" for all the lonely men to get huskies. You cannot be lonely with a husky howling at you because he wants to go for a walk. That's just solid facts and logic.

Younger people who didn't witness it cannot fathom the hype around the Segway. Every news station agreed it would revolutionize the entire social fabric of the Earth. That all future humans would divide history between the savage days of the past, and the soon to be new era of zoom zoom scoot scoot.

Fun historical fact: Richard the Lionheart was French and Gay. No joke here, actually, he literally was. He didn't even speak English and only went to England like once, because he was too busy in France having gay sex with French kings.

My most conservative opinion? That we should go back to the old name for the common kestrel.

Meanwhile, on twitter, did you know that Mary Shelley never could have written Frankenstein (which is about magnets as you know) because her boyfriend was really into magnets? In fact, when you think about it, that's why women in general don't write great literature (chicks aren't into magnets).

New York City, the greatest metropolis in the world, today.

The fact that everyone totally ignores C3PO when he says stuff like this makes a lot more sense if you think of him as a ChatGPT type computer who just says plausible sounding sentences without any real analysis behind them.