Fart Shartly

@fartshartly

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Bluesky

gamer

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Fart Shartly@fartshartly· 1d

??????? what the fuck is happening lmfao Zuk pet before first EZK piece??

[Thok an Ball Torture] News: FARTxSHARTLY has received TzKal-Zuk's armour piece drop at 25 kills!

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· 18d

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· 18d

officially oldge. :)

TzTok-Jad from Old School RuneScape wearing a birthday hat

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· 19d

Tomorrow is another trip around the sun for me, so as is birthday tradition this will be going on the smoker at like 2am. Dry brining now but gonna mustard it up and hit it with garlic powder onion powder black pepper and a smidgen of cayenne before it goes on. Yes it's cut in two, smoker too smol 😭

A full packer brisket, with the point and the flat separated.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 23

LET'S FUCKING GO FLAWLESS HARDMORE ZUK DONE THAT WAS AWFUL I WANNA GO AGAIN

[Thok an Ball Torture] News: FARTxSHARTLY has a new personal best at Tzkal-Zuk (Hardmode): 39:47.4

Congratulations! You have completed: 'Excuse me, that's my seat' - Defeat TzKal-Zuk in hard mode in a single run after completing all of his challenges.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 17

case and point of "goofy by simply existing"

"My friend took the best screenshot ever from the Cal falcon nest cam"

The screenshot is of a falcon chick, newly hatched, who looks incredibly disgruntled, sitting behind two brown eggs. The adult falcon looks back at the camera over its shoulder in a comical fashion.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 15

Not to kinkshame or anything but if you want to indulge in your humiliation fetish there are other ways to get people to dunk on you my guy.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 15

While some were occupied with this latter duty, others were employed in dragging away the larger tubs, so soon as filled with the sperm; and when the proper time arrived, this same sperm was carefully manipulated ere going to the try-works, of which anon.

It had cooled and crystallized to such a degree, that when, with several others, I sat down before a large Constantine's bath of it, I found it strangely cconcreted into lumps, here and there rolling about in the liquid part. It was our buisness to squeeze these lumps back into fluid. A sweet and unctuous duty! No wonder that in old times this sperm was such a favourite cosmetic. Such a clearer! Such a sweetener! Such a softener! Such a delicious molifier! After having my hands in it for only a few minutes, my fingers felt like eels, and began, as it were, to serpentine and spiralise.

As I sat there at my ease, cross-legged on the deck; after the bitter exertion at the windlass; under a blue tranquil sky; the ship under indolent sail, and gliding so serenely along; as I bathed my hands among those soft, gentle globules of infiltrated tissues, woven almost within the hour; as they richly broke to my fingers, and discharged all their opulence, like fully ripe grapes their wine; as I snuffed up that uncontaminated aroma,-literally and truly, like the smell of spring violets; I declare to you that for the time I lived as in a musky meadow; I forgot all about our horrible oath, in that inexpressible sperm, I washed my hands and my heart of it; I almost began to credit the old Paracelsan superstition that sperm is of rare virtue in allaying the heat of anger; while bathing in that bath, I felt divinely free from all ill-will, or petulance, or malice, of any sort, whatsoever.

Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze! All the morning longl I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me;

The passage continues but alt text only allows up to 2,000 characters.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 13

me when poop:

A text box from RuneScape 3 that says "The corruption is cleansed from your body."

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 8

One time I was staying with my grandparents at their condo in florida and I snapped this beauty from the porch, super cool shot with the ocean/beach in the background but unfortunately it's not a peregrine (It's an Osprey! Still neat!)

An osprey flying along the beach near the florida/alabama border

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Jun 8

Read this when I was in primary school and it's probably singlehandedly the biggest reason I got into birding, specifically raptors. One day I gotta go back to Peregrine spotting, they're so fucking cool.

The book cover for Jean Craighead George's "My Side of the Mountain".

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· May 10

Left the printer overnight and woke up to this. Chuffed to bits. Can't wait to see it finished. Should be done 7am tomorrow! Total print time of 1d7h54m!

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· May 4

Crested gecko. Owned one in high school. They look like they've got 1 braincell and it bounces around like the DVD screensaver

An orange crested gecko on top of a nintendo 3Ds carrying case.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· May 4

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you order flour for baking off amazon groceries you're going to get a fucking mess delivered to your house

10lbs of whole wheat flour in an amazon box, both sacks of flour are split, and around 5lbs as gone absolutely everywhere.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· May 3

Woe, Runescape Classic Ana in a barrel upon ye.

The item "Ana in a barrel" from runescape classic

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· May 1

Friends and I were talking about Liquid hydrogen fires/Methanol fires last night and how they're invisible to the naked eye. We stumbled across this video that reads like an actual Monty Python sketch about it and I think everyone needs to see this.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 30

Happy April 30th to all who celebrate

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 26

END OF AN ERA Second eggling acquired

A screenshot from runescape 3

"The phoenix eggling is now yours! It can be summoned from the pet interface."

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 21

I've been told we count as grunglers even though we're cishet? but yeah. Flattering but also the bar is on the floor, feels like just being a decent human should be the bare minimum.

Two anime men handshake, the text reads "RENDER, SHARTLY" and then on the handshake "RESIDENT GRUNGLERS"

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 16

Hey gang! I know most of my RS moots are sucked into leagues content right now, but tomorrow afternoon/evening I'll be live on YouTube with the release of Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream! We're starting another Ant Farm project with this, I'm SUPER excited. If you need a leagues break, stop by!

Promotional art for Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 11

and if you want the "Good ending" of this go fucking watch all of pantheon on netflix I cannot recommend it enough holy shit

Poster art for Pantheon
Originally an AMC+ series, it was removed from the network and now all two seasons are available to watch on Netflix.

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Apr 5

Realer ones remember when they all overlapped with Margaret Thatcher's Deathiversary in 2023

An image featuring three depictions of the Pilsbury Doughboy, and one of Margaret Thatcher.
They are captioned as follows:
He is risen! Happy Easter!
He is not! Happy Passover!
He is off limits until sundown! Happy Ramadan!
She will never rise again! Happy Margaret Thatcher Death Day!

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 27

need pant

Missing pants from an RS3 collection log

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 17

Jad Mask MkVIII is off the printer.. >:)

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 15

New printer goofin'

Centauri Carbon (old printer), left

Bambulabs h2s (new printer), right

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 12

Oh yeah, I think we cooked here. Season 2 Premiere of Thok an Ball Torture SoonTM

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 9

"You know I'd probably have less back/hip pain if I just had better posture at my desk." Also me, the second I sit down:

Jarl Balgruuf the Greater from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, sitting in a chair with poor posture

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Mar 5

Everyone must enjoy this modern rice

Fart Shartly@fartshartly· Feb 17

Nu, render handsome too :}