felix

@felixthefemale

nobody you know. chronic pain, acute whinging. panstitchual. she/her.

488 Siguiendo496 Seguidores2634 Publicaciones

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felix@felixthefemale· 24d

If you're interested in actual English heritage, this concert today was bloody brilliant. Mostly 13thC music played by one woman using live looping. A variety of wind instruments including occitane bagpipes and voice. Consort of One she calls herself

felix@felixthefemale· 24d

Master race is it eh?

Small number of ham coloured fuckwits, vastly outnumbered by the police cordon separating them from some cheerful Communists on the city hall steps.

Flag wankers

felix@felixthefemale· 26d

I've just gone all Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells at a knitting company because <gestures despairingly>

To support@knitpro.eu

Subject: I've just looked through your catalogue and I'm embarrassed for you

I've got many of your needles, mostly the symphonie both fixed and interchangable circulars, and if I'd seen this catalogue beforehand I wouldn't have touched them even with a pole as big as the grandfather was 'knitting' with.

What were you thinking? Generative AI is based on property stolen from artists, some of whom are your own customers. Expecting knitters to fall for this sort of slop that you obviously haven't even bothered looking at yourselves is insult to injury.

You should be ashamed.

felix@felixthefemale· 29d

I see your port glasses and I raise you starboard

Red bowled glasses with clear stems next to green bowled glasses with clear stems in an otherwise empty cupboard. Rings of ghost glasses visible on the shelf below

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 12

Tiny dinosaur goes last though, he's important for morale

Tiny dinosaur looking like he's telling you that everything's fabulous. Sitting in a windowsill that's horribly dusty and guarding a reel of black thread, because you always need a reel of black thread

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 12

You never realise how space efficient shelves are until you need to move them

Boxes. So many boxes. Shelves still not empty but boxes keep filling up, like a car vomiting clowns onto the pavement

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 12

We're moving house next week and I'm already trying to plan for the worst for our old boy Mr Jink

A tuxedo tom in a nest of bedsheets looking nervously at the lens, his constant fuss or flight reflex being motion-activated

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 7

You're literally living in a different shaped world now, I'm so sorry

Embroidery of 3 pairs of shoes, 2 in colour, one a faint grey outline

Embroidery of a coat rack, with most costs in colour and two a faint grey outline

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 7

Here, enjoy how happy these little chaps look being together again, after years guarding different bookshelves

5 little metal people sculptures sitting on the edge of a brown bookshelf. Books are visible above and below. So many bloody books.

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 7

Supposed to be moving house next Friday. Never stay in one place for too long*, everything accretes *21 years. Big mistake. Huge.

Big wall of library-style shelves with cupboards under. More than half the shelves are completely empty. There are growing towers of cardboard boxes in front of some of the cupboards. The end cupboard doors are open to show photo albums and similar.

There is altogether too much fucking STUFF.

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 7

Good Afternoon

The Writer Has a Headache

Today feels like a day for writing in black ink. Today feels like a day for writing with the quietest pen on the smoothest paper. Today feels like a day for jabbing the pen nib-first into the space between the C1 and C2 vertebrae. Today feels like a day for gouging up into, and around, the occiput. Today feels like a day for sharpening the nib on a smooth wet whetstone and finding those spaces where the skull plates join, and sliding the nib between them. Today feels like a day for finding out if you can stab through that thinnest part of the skull at the temple, and have the evil come rushing out and leaving you be. Today feels like a day to shop for iridium nibs.

felix@felixthefemale· Jul 1

More pre-move tidying Shut up

Cream merino being spun on a teeny black eSpinner.

felix@felixthefemale· Jun 28

Moving house next month, falling into the trap of just finishing one more WIP...

An egg that's been cracked open and rejoined, sitting in a black rubber egg cup. There's a line of small holes either side of the crack, and cream cotton and small pearl beads sewn between. It's unfinished, and could still go horribly wrong.

felix@felixthefemale· Jun 25

Um, good?

Some idiot has added me to a hates people who use vr AI crypto smart glasses nfts bitcoin blocklist which I'd say is fair enough, though if you want to give yourself motion sickness playing vr games that's entirely up to you, it's just the pervert glasses need a warning label

felix@felixthefemale· Jun 25

This is nice

Three stacked ink bottles (from Cult pens) on a windowsill with sunlight and greenery behind. The light shows the top bottle with an amber ink, the middle with a blood test, the bottom is black. They're labelled Honey Burst, Writer's Blood and Permanent Black respectively.

felix@felixthefemale· Jun 16

For when you want your cocaine sprinkles perfectly even

A charity shop shelf with teapots and a bowl and in the middle, what looks like a sugar dredger, but it's got "Charlie" written on it in a very live love laugh sort of font

felix@felixthefemale· Jun 10

World of wool do Wednesday promotions where they invent a random category and discount it for a day. Today is "Things that would make good cat names"

Merino Chilli
Locky Wensleydale Wool Locks Waffle
Shetland Nougat

felix@felixthefemale· May 26

This is nice

Screenshot of lightningmaps.org with lots of lovely yellow and orange splashes

felix@felixthefemale· May 25

I'm going to miss being in a flat where it's cool enough to work on a blanket during a heatwave

A black and white blanket held in a hand with a wooden crochet hook visible. The yarn is wool. It'll be lovely and warm.

felix@felixthefemale· May 21

In a cafe with lax security and resisting the temptation to do hijinx

All I did was connect to the WiFi because there's llaregub* phone signal and I've been given controls for the cafe sound system. They're playing Funky Town right now, could be worse

*Yes we're in Wales

felix@felixthefemale· May 18

I've been boycotting nestle since the late 80s and I swear I've thrown this out twice already

A teaspoon on a wooden worktop. It has Nescafé embossed on the handle end and it's general battered and annoying

felix@felixthefemale· May 16

Pick a Bond from photos you already have in your phone

It's an owl in a towel, specifically that one that looks like it's a shaggy haired professor in a white coat

felix@felixthefemale· May 11

Wondering if the seemingly AI-generated George Boyd is just a massive vanity touch-up, akin to our local pub owner's face so smoothed it blurs at the edges

The official picture of Reform candidate George Boyd, looking about 17 with a good chin and hair

A group shot of homogeneous canvassers on a suburban street captioned "Cllr George Boyd leading the team in Waveney Valley Division". İt's not the guy from the official photo, but there's a dark haired guy in Jeremy Clarkson jeans at the front

LinkedIn screenshot of another dark haired guy, this one seeming to have quite the tan. He works for the jockey club and used to sell Teslas, so no ethical dilemmas with Reform for him

felix@felixthefemale· May 4

I'm also feeling like a palimpsest today

From Fire in the Blood, Irene Nemirovsky

"She was like those ancient parchments on which the Greeks and Romans wrote erotic stories and which, much later, the monks scrapped away at in order to place over the top some illuminated life of a saint. The woman of twenty years ago had disappeared for ever beneath the Helene of today."

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 30

I was driving one of these at the time so the contrast was a bit much

The Suzuki Cappuccino. Glorious car, if you don't mind having your bum 5 inches from the road while you see how far past the 90mph marking* you can get it after you get the turbo boosted and limiter removed

*Autobahn, honest

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 29

Is it talc and a strong grip?

Jess Cartner-Morley on fashion: how to pull off leather trousers

There's also an achingly tastefully lit picture of what appear to be, regrettably, what can only be described as boot-cut leather slacks

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 29

Nothing says romantic weekend like dinging your neck on a too-short headboard so your best beloved can feel special 🥰

Furnishing fuckery. He's taken a single bed and put the headboard on one side and the footboard on another to make a shitty male supremacist headboard, under the baleful glare of an AI rendering of a king and queen, stolen from artists unidentified.

Some kind of nasty fake pelt at the foot of the bed too. And 6 (six) ugly velvet cushions you'd need to find homes for before you could sleep.

Cunt.

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 27

Is there a #woodsky? Who can tell me what this wood is? Bonus gratitude if you can give me a rough age

The headboard of a single wooden bed, with turned posts and a carved emblem in the middle

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 25

A terrible drawing of a robot surrounded by flame and the words AI is for cunts Draw terrible art
As drawn, energetically, by @ohlookbirdies.bsky.social

felix@felixthefemale· Apr 20

Well happy birthday me :⁠-⁠D