Former Earthling

@former-earthling

I’m a former Former-Earthling. I write things. I think too much.

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Bluesky

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Former Earthling@former-earthling· 18d

If you see this, quote skeet a pic of yourself in sunglasses.

A selfie of myself in sunglasses taken in front of the Place du Casino in Monaco

Former Earthling@former-earthling· 19d

Tom Sawyer voice: “Wow, I sure am lucky to be painting this fence this weekend while all of you are at the beach being bored.”

A photo of a half-painted suburban fence

Former Earthling@former-earthling· 20d

Air quality index right now is 10+ or very high risk. Don’t recall seeing that here before.

A screenshot of the WeatherCan app showing a temperature of 29C and an air quality index of 10+, indicating very high risk.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· 20d

Unexpected #bird sighting this morning in the back yard… a #bluejay! I haven’t seen one here in a couple of years. #Merlin says they are “unlikely” in #Calgary today. (Apologies for the potato quality photo)

Photo of a blue jay sitting on top of bird feeder stand

Former Earthling@former-earthling· 28d

No, Tara, I don’t think I will. You pathetic scammer. #scamText #blockAndReport

A screenshot of a scam text from someone calling themself Tara Fletcher inviting me to put my personal details into a fake website in order to receive a government “rebate”

It reads:

[Alberta.ca] You have an unclaimed $100 Alberta Energy Rebate.
To avoid your funds being returned to the provincial treasury and forfeiting your eligibility for the 2026 fiscal year, please complete your identity verification and bank setup via our secure portal within 48 hours:
https://758921.help/alberta-energy-rebate
Reply "y" to activate this link or copy it directly into your browser.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jul 14

Summer in the backyard.

POV image of sitting by a backyard fire pit.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jul 8

#Alberta summer #clouds look awesome… as long as you’re not underneath them. #weather

A towering white cumulus cloud rises above a suburban neighborhood under a deep blue sky, with a small airplane visible in the distance below the cloud.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jun 30

In Paris I lived a couple of blocks from Le Cimetière du #Montparnasse & I’d often walk through it to avoid traffic. A friend from Canada who works for a funeral home came to visit & as we headed out one day we cut through the #cemetery. She was fascinated so we spent the afternoon there instead.

The family grave of Charles Pigeon, inventor of the Pigeon lamp. A bronze sculpture depicts Pigeon and his wife lying side by side in bed.

The grave of Gustave Jundt. A bronze sculpture depicts a young Alsatian girl placing a bouquet of flowers on a painter’s palette beneath a bust of Jundt. The monument was designed by Auguste Bartholdi, who also designed the Statue of Liberty.

The grave of Antoine Haumont, featuring an abstract sculpture by Étienne depicting two figures reading a book together.

The grave of Robert Thibier and Pierre Jauvart, with a bronze sculpture of two clasped hands rising above the headstone.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jun 29

Me: Phew! Looks like the rainfall warnings are done and flooding wasn’t too bad. Environment Canada:

A screenshot of An air quality warning from Environment Canada that says:

Issued at: 4:20 PM MDT Monday 29 Jun 2026
Impact level: Moderate
Forecast confidence: High
Smoke is causing or expected to cause poor air quality and reduced visibility.
Smoke from northern Saskatchewan has moved into portions of Alberta. The smoke is expected to remain in the province for the next couple of days causing fluctuating reduction in air quality.
As smoke levels increase, health risks increase. Limit time outdoors. Consider reducing or rescheduling outdoor sports, activities and events.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jun 21

The Haunting Of Hemlock Hall is still a very early #WIP but It does have a #jacket in it. #wipsnips #writesky

I hovered in the front parlour and listened as a key struggled with the lock in the door.
No surprise there. That lock hadn't been used in years.
Eventually they managed to get through the doorway and stood in the parlour, looking around the room.
Two men and one woman. They spoke loudly, as if trying to fill the empty house with their voices. I scoffed. Typical. They ignored me.
"It's got good bones, from the look of it." The taller man put a hand on the bannister and gave it a shove. It didn't move. He was dressed in a shirt and tie underneath his jacket. His slacks were pressed and his shoes were shined. I assumed he was in charge of my little invasion force.
The woman walked through me (always annoying, in case you were wondering) towards the kitchen, looking around the room as she went. "The rooms look to be a good size. And the big south facing windows will mean good light."
"This trim is all lead paint, I assume? Is there any asbestos?" The second man was running his finger along a window sill, as if performing a white glove test. Pal, I gave the help the day off. It hasn't been dusted since last century, if that's what you're wondering.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jun 19

For generations the ghost haunting Hemlock Hall has taken pride in maintaining the decrepit building’s reputation, but when a crew arrives with cameras and klieg lights to film a home renovation reality show he discovers that scaring people isn’t as easy as it used to be. #writesky #group #haunting

What was happening? This wasn't a family moving in to my house. It was something else.
I drifted into my room, looking out my window at a group of people getting yelled at by someone else who gestured in at least five different directions, some of them simultaneously. As I pondered the situation, a small cat padded into the room. She was what people call a 'tuxedo,' black with a white face and chest, and in her case, three white paws.
She sat down in the exact centre of the rug and gave me an appraising look. Cats, as everyone knows, can see and hear ghosts just fine, whereas people can't perceive me unless I put in some considerable effort.
I looked at the cat.
"I take it you're with this crowd?" I asked, gesturing towards the window.
She blinked and began licking one white paw.
"Thought so."
The cat placed her paw back on the floor and looked at me again. After a moment she blinked once more then turned and sashayed from the room.
I settled in near the window, trying to work out what was happening to my house.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Jun 11

A brief scene leading to a breakthrough in the investigation into the rover accident in my Martian mystery ‘Shadow Of Horizon’. #wipsnips #scifi #writesky #gripe

Jensen's eyes flickered open to the sound of rapid knocking on her door. The clock on her desk showed 05:14. Groaning, she rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head, hoping whoever it was would take a hint, but the knocking persisted.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed, griping to herself as she stumbled the two strides to the door. She opened it to find Harris standing there, datapad in hand. He looked far too alert for this hour.

"What the hell, Harris? It's still yesterday."

Harris wasn't fazed. "Sorry, Commander, but you'll want to see this. Trust me."

Jensen rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stepped back from the door. "This better be good. Otherwise you'll be walking back to Earth" she groused. "Then l'Il recommend a bravery citation for talking to me P.C."

Harris didn't look up from his datapad where he was setting up whatever he wanted to show her.

"PC?"

"Pre-coffee."

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 29

Just dropped off six 🎸s at a music store for assessment and hopefully, purchase or consignment sale. Including my pride-and-joy 1980s #Steinberger XP-2 #bass. Not gonna lie, this feels like the end of an era. Granted, it’s an era that only I care about, but still…

A photo of the body of a white 1980s Steinberger XP bass guitar

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 18

The Archive is a #wip short story set in a dystopian future about a search for pre-fall technology rumoured to be stashed in a nearby woods. #wipsnips #Forest #writesky

By the time the sun was up I was well beyond town limits, following the road that wound along the river, heading upstream into the mountains.
After an hour during which I didn't encounter anyone, I came to the spot where the faintest trace of a path headed off into the forest. It might have once been a hiking trail but it was all but forgotten now, remembered only on some old paper maps I had been fortunate enough to find among a bundle of old papers one of the junk dealers had scrounged up somewhere and bartered to me for a handful of shotgun shells. An exorbitant price, but since I don't own a shotgun... I took the risk.
If the map was right, this path would take me to a forgotten cabin, hopefully still intact from before the fall. And with any luck it might contain the rarest of rarities, pre-fall tech.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 16

More short fiction. The Ferryman has his first encounter with an influencer and doesn’t quite know how to deal with it. #wipsnips #hoarse #mythology #wip #writesky

She tottered up to him on the dock. "Hello, Mr. uhmm, mister... I seem to be a bit turned around here and I'm not exactly sure where here is. Could you tell me how to get back to Encino?"

Damien ignored her question. He pointed to the seat in the aft of the boat. "*SIT*" His voice, little used most days, was hoarse.

The woman leaned over to look into the boat, with its rotting planks and standing water sloshing against the gunwales. "Uhh, no thank you. I'm just trying to get back to my team, so if you could, you know, like, show me how to get back there, that would be, like, really awesome."

Damien stayed where he was, silent. Just this one journey tonight, he thought, then he could return home to a nice cup of chamomile before bed.

After several seconds of awkward silence, she brightened. "Oh, you're stunned into silence, huh? Yeah. I get that a lot. Your eyes do not deceive you. It really is !, Meaghan Michelle Mars." She let out a carefully configured chuckle. "My fans call me 3M. But you knew that right?" She gave the kind of laugh that he suspected some might call tittering.

"Look, Mr. uhhmm...?" She arched an eyebrow at him.

Damien pointed a bony finger at the boat again. "*SIT*"

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 15

From my still untitled #Sci-fi #wip Martian mystery. Commander Jensen is feeling boxed in following the accident that killed 2 colonists, so she turns to a corporate employee for help with her investigation. #wipsnips #writesky #title

Zhang frowned. "I don't know. I'm an analyst. I probably know less about that equipment than anyone on Mars."
Jensen gave a half shrug. "Maybe, but it's not just about that. This entire debacle is taking on a lot of political overtones and I need someone working with us that I can trust at least as much as I need a subject-matter expert. And, not to put too fine a point on it, but the list of CV people I can trust is pretty short. In fact, it's only one name."
Zhang shook her head. "Look, Commander, I get where you're coming from, but... don't take this the wrong way, but if I wanted to be involved in politics I'd still be on Earth. Doing politics. This isn't what I signed up for."
Jensen fought down a sigh. "I know. And believe me when I say the last thing I want to do is to drag you into something that has the potential to be... disruptive. But I'm serious, Lisa. The fact that Vega was a Senator's kid and I was his superior officer is going to make everything around here political no matter what your job title is. I wish it was different, but it isn't. There's a very real chance that this could end my career. It's almost certain to have me recalled from Mars. I want to make sure that before that happens, I've done everything I can to keep this place intact. And when I boil that down, I end up needing someone I can trust."
Zhang gave Jensen a sideways look. "Laying it on a bit thick there, Commander?"

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 14

Ooh, I used #caffeine just last week in a throwaway bit of #flashFiction I call “Brought To You By…” #wipsnips #writesky #wip

Lisa was standing over the stove, frying a couple of eggs on the Country Home™ cooktop. I walked up behind her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"Morning, hun."
She held up her Smart As Anything Watch ™ and gave me a smile. "Morning." I tapped my own Smart As Anything Watch ™ against hers and approved the $9.95 transfer from my account, filling in "Matrimonial affection" in the memo field.
"Smells yummy." I grabbed a mug from the Cupboards By Kate™ cupboard and filled it up from the Kick-Ass Caffeine Carafe ™ on the Durable Designs ™ counter top ("If it's not Durable, it's not done ®").
The kids came down the hall to the kitchen as I settled in at the table and Lisa began serving breakfast. "Morning, Jackson Learning Centre."
"Hmmph."
I put down my slice of Tim's Tasty Toast™ and gave Lisa a look. She arched an eyebrow back at me. "Something wrong, champ?"
Miranda's Craft Store answered for him, the way older sisters that age do. "Davis Avenue Autosports was making fun of him at school yesterday because he has a better name sponsor."
I swallowed a sigh. Not this again.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 9

Give me your favorite non-Trek performance from a Star Trek actor:

Movie still photo of Gates McFadden and a bunch of muppets from The Muppets Take Manhattan

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 3

The only ‘brass’ I have so far is from my half-finished sci-fi novel ‘Beyond Horizon.’ The colony brain trust on Mars has just been informed of an accident at the mine and Commander Jensen is starting to suspect her corporate counterpart is playing a different game. #wipsnips #brass #writesky

Patel stood a little straighter at Jensen's comment, still unclear on exactly what was happening but well aware of the tension in the room.

"Lt. Patel, do you recall my instructions the other day that said the Line B mine was to remain closed until it had passed all of your safety inspections to your satisfaction?"

"Yes, ma'am. Of course.”

"Have you completed those inspections and cleared the line for operations yet?"

"Uhh, no, ma'am. That will take several weeks, possibly months once we start. And we haven't started yet."

"That's what I thought."

Turning back to Markel, Jensen stepped towards him, crowding his personal space. "So back to my original question, Director. Why are there techs operating the Line B mine in direct violation of my orders?"

Patel gave a quiet gasp. "What?!" Cole put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head, an unspoken warning to let the brass do their talking.

Jensen had to give Markel credit, he didn't back down or appear uneasy at the situation they were dealing with. She wondered whether he was a complete sociopath or simply had ice water in his veins.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· May 1

If you didn’t know, texts from Voter Research Services are likely to be scams. Block & report.

A screenshot of a text from the scam organization Voter Research Services asking about voting preferences.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Apr 21

I moved back to Canada last summer, so I missed the NHL playoffs for three years. Watching OTT–CAR Game 2 tonight with a big bowl of popcorn and a Brewhouse Pilsner. Nothing beats playoff hockey.

POV photo of hockey on my TV with a bowl of popcorn in my lap and a can of beer in my hand.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Apr 11

One year ago yesterday we visited Le Mans on one of our day trips to get a feel for some French cities outside Paris. Plenty of #history there with #medieval era half-timber houses in the Cité Plantagenêt & sections of still-standing Roman walls. #LeMans #France

A photograph of some medieval half-timber houses in Le Mans, France

A photograph of the remaining Roman walls in Le Mans, France

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Apr 9

I mean… I’m not a Coilers fan but I get where they’re coming from.

A screenshot of a social media post by the Alberta RCMP that says “REMINDER: 911 is ONLY for emergencies.
Last night, #rcmpalberta received a 911 call from a man asking where the Oilers could get a starting goalie. We understand that in Canada, this could be an emergency to some, however this is not a valid reason to dial 911.”

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Apr 7

Egg, cheddar & hickory smoked chicken breast on an English muffin. #BreakfastOfChampions

A photo of a breakfast sandwich with egg, cheddar and chicken on an English muffin with a cup of coffee.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Apr 2

A #wip from short story I call “The Archive.” In a post-collapse near future, the protagonist searches for a rumoured cache of pre-fall tech hidden in the woods. #wipsnips #shortstory #beach #writesky

Inside the cabin smelled of mildew and rot. It was a single room with a bunk bed along one wall and a stone fireplace taking up most of another. Some cupboards occupied a third wall above a rickety table. The cupboard doors that weren't missing completely were hanging precariously from their hinges. There was no sign of a sink or bathroom. A sizeable hole in the roof next to the chimney had let in enough rain and snow to stain the wall and floor beneath it with mould.

So much for my hopes of finding pre-fall tech here. It was nothing but a remote hunting cabin. No generator. No solar panels or batteries. No power inverters. Not even any radio or communications equipment. Not only was there no tech here, there probably never had been.

I headed back outside and walked to the edge of the lake where a large log lay on the grassy beach parallel to the water's edge. No doubt placed there so the cabin's users could sit and watch the lake. I put it to the use for which it was intended and tried not to think about what I could have bartered my shotgun shells for besides the worthless map.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Mar 24

My #scifi Starship Troopers/Saving Private Ryan short story is getting a bit of a re-work to improve the ending so this scene is probably going to get rewritten, but for now it does contain an #offer. #wipsnips #writesky

I looked around. The parts of the bunker that were above ground had been completely destroyed. "On watch for what? Local fauna? Doesn't seem to be any here, so... Good job, I guess."

"Protocol, newbie." She turned to look at Herrera. "They're letting just anybody in these days, huh?" Herrera shrugged.

"Forgot my name already?"

Connor rolled her eyes. "No, I just didn't think you'd last long enough that I'd need to know it." She pulled a stim out of a vest pocket and offered it to me. I shook my head. Juicing the adrenaline already pumping through my system didn't seem like a great idea. "Suit yourself." She peeled the wrapper and tossed it into the breeze as she popped the tablet into her mouth, letting it dissolve just as Weston returned.

"Alright. I updated the sergeant. Keep an eye on the town." She gestured downhill towards the settlement where distant gunfire told us that parts of the battle were still going on. "They're probably too occupied to send reinforcements, but you never know. Newbie, you're with me."

She turned and headed towards the ruined entrance to the bunker. I fell in behind her.

Herrera smirked. "Don't you kids do anything I wouldn't do."

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Mar 7

I once saw “American Pizza” on the menu at a fast food place in Italy. French fries and hotdogs for toppings.

A photograph of pizza with french fries and hot dogs for toppings.

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Feb 24

This week’s reading is another “skip-the-line” book via #Libby. So far it’s both entertaining and interesting so I’m hoping to get through it by the deadline.

A screenshot of the Libby app showing the cover of the book Unruly: The Ridiculous History Of England’s Kings And Queens by David Mitchell

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Feb 18

Me right now, waiting for the USA -Sweden hockey game to start.

Before the USA-Sweden Olympic hockey game, From polandball, Canada is wearing a Viking helmet and sporting a Swedish flag. A comment below the image reads “Winner gets to sell Canada fighter jets”

Former Earthling@former-earthling· Feb 16

Winter is coming (again)