Gabriel S. Jacobs

@gsjphd

Paleontologist. Schoolteacher. Big galoot. Bespoke homemade opinions. (he/him) Arthropod enthusiast, echino-curious. Eamus Catuli, illegitimi non carborundum.

2296 Siguiendo6341 Seguidores15.649 Publicaciones

YouTube YouTube YouTube Bluesky

¿Es tu perfil?Reclámalo y gsjphd.dirty.social es tuyo.Reclamar perfil

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· 20d

her taxonomic affinities remain uncertain

the same kitten in the tube but marked up with anatomical labels
her eyes are labeled in yellow as chemoreceptors???
her nose is labeled in green as pharynx
her ear hair is labeled in aqua as gill filaments
her muzzle whiskers are labeled in purple as filter-feeding apparatus
her front paws are labeled in orange as parapodia

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· 20d

Still from "Roxanne" where Steve Martin's character, wearing a long prosthetic nose (it's a retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac), is berating a guy in a bar for insulting his nose in an unimaginative manner. A speech bubble comes from him, attributing the quoted post to his character.

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· 22d

absolutely fried them

image macro meme of a low-poly boxer standing orthodox with his gloves up ready to fight, then the same boxer sitting down drinking water from a bottle

ok ima critique Jamelle Bouie's taste in film
damn DVD collection got hands

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· 25d

the "you are not immune to propaganda" meme but instead it says "you are not immune to pareidolia" and instead of Garfield's face it has a rock that's kinda shaped like a cat's head with little pointed ears.

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· 27d

Not usually such a visible haze here...

The Midtown Manhattan skyline seen from across the Hudson over a tree-lined highway. It's hazier than it should be for the distance (only three miles or so).

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Jul 10

brb doing this to a bunch of fossil taxa

A still from an "East/West Bowl" skit showing Keegan-Michael Key in the red uniform of the East.

A graphic gives his name as Cordaites Lungatus, which is the binomial name of an extinct species of non-flowering plant related to conifers.

A still from an "East/West Bowl" skit showing Jordan Peele in the blue uniform of the West.

A graphic gives his name as Dracius Carnifex, which is the binomial name of an extinct species of brachiopod.

A still from an "East/West Bowl" skit showing Keegan-Michael Key in the blue uniform of the West.

A graphic gives his name as Josephulus Gracilis, which is the binomial name of a species of trilobite.

A still from an "East/West Bowl" skit showing Jordan Peele in the red uniform of the East.

A graphic gives his name as Deiphon Dikella, which is the binomial name of a species of trilobite.

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Jul 3

refrigerator magnet poetry:

silly dad
once fed baby
a green hat
child ate it
mom grow silent

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Jun 21

shallow green-gray ocean with hazy mountains in the background. at front right is a large red buoy with a little electronic unit mounted at the top. along the bottom of the float, just above the waterline, is written in large white letters: yeah buoy

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Jun 5

🧪🍎⚒️

We stand amid the birth of a new Lysenkoism.

Under Stalin and Khrushchev, research in the Soviet Union fell under the control of political interests. Trofim Lysenko's fraudulent and provably falsified ideas were pushed to the forefront, while the hard-won advances of honest scientists were suppressed, leading to Soviet agricultural science falling decades behind the West. The commissars overseeing the research establishment halted any research they saw as "decadent" or "capitalistic" or "counter-revolutionary" - the proposed rule change would put new commissars in power to repress anything they label as "woke" or "DEI", words they have repeatedly been unable to define, let alone justify.

My doctoral research was supported by three NSF grants: EAR CAREER 1650745, EAR/IF 1636643, and EAR-SGP 1917031. What has this yielded for America? What would have been lost if grants had been doled out and stolen away at the whims of political appointees instead of distributed by the sober judgment of experts in the field? What would have been impossible had the terms of our funding prohibited us from collaborating with one of our co-authors, an indispensable authority on micro-CT and taphonomy (and a dear friend and colleague) who also happens to be a foreign national?

My research paired micro-CT with chemical preparation of silicified fossils in Paleozoic limestone, comparing which fossils and other objects appeared in the X-ray imagery to those which turned up in the digested residues. (No previous research had paired these methods as my co-authors and I did.) The motivation for this project was to study the paleoecology of the deposit and how the choice of preparation can influence what is recorded and what is not, but micro-CT is a very widely used technique with applications in medicine, materials science, and engineering. Better understanding of the abilities and limitations of micro-CT in heterogeneous materials is broadly useful, and my own small contribution to that understanding adds to the overall body of knowledge.

However, my research funding did not only produce research papers. It also produced *me*, providing RA support to help me finish my doctorate and go on to better things. After a few stints as an adjunct instructor, I have settled into a career as a public school science teacher, a profession where it is my great honor to help build the next generation of scholars. Many of my students come from immigrant families. Many of my students speak languages besides English. The commissars that the new rule would install would probably call my students some things I won't repeat here. I call those students bright, promising, young adults who are the future of this country.
Let us build scientific research for the future of this country, and for the future of the world which has for decades looked to us for leadership and excellence. Let us not be dragged back into Saratov, 1943.

Sincerely,
Dr. Gabriel S. Jacobs
Schoolteacher

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Jun 4

when you ask a sedimentary guy about anything igneous ⚒️

A 4 panel meme
1: Syenite? (a rock texture containing pink orthoclase and green pyroxene)
2: Monzonite? (a rock texture containing red and white feldspars)
3: Tonalite? (a rock texture containing white plagioclase and black mafics)
4: I see no difference, granite is granite. (Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist giving a smile, a wink, and a thumbs up)

sources for rock textures:
https://www.virtualmicroscope.org/content/syenite-ben-loyal
https://www.mindat.org/photo-1307583.html
https://www.alexstrekeisen.it/english/pluto/tonalite.php

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 26

drip check ✅

A "steal his look" meme with the quoted trilobite at the center. surrounding it are:
big ruffled collar - $16
red body paint - $8
textured fringe haircut like $30 IDK
sombrero - $10

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 25

How do they rise up?

A close up photo of cream-colored lilac blossoms, partly open with morning rain clinging to them.

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 25

A lot of people in the comments seem to be under the impression that this program is a handout to Christian churches. I'd like to tell you a little story. This excerpt is written above the door of an Islamic community center in a medium-sized city where I once lived. It's a middle American city,

A pointed arch in cream and brown bricks above a doorway. In the plastered space under the arch is written three lines of Arabic, a quotation of the Quran, and its English translation below:
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful, say, o People of the Scripture (Christians & Jews), come to common terms as between us & you that we worship none but Allah (God).
Quran Sura III Verse 64

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 23

A brief gallery of Gonzo being fascinated by animals in Prehistoric Planet: Ice Age.

A large brown dog staring at a long-necked bird with a vicious looking beak (a terror bird) on the TV

A large brown dog staring at a fluffy brown woolly rhinoceros being annoyed by a small bird on the TV

A large brown dog staring at a slaty gray short-faced bear on the TV

A large brown dog staring at a pack of scimitar-toothed cats with markings like snow leopards' on the TV

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 22

I could convince a zoomer this was a real episode

A title card in the style of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, with a view of the titular space station.
the title reads: "Six, Seven"

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 22

This garbage is legitimately the final straw for me. I'm banning Google search from my classes next year and will require students to use an alternative search engine that gives real results to pick through, not slop to spoon-feed them. Any recommendations? 🍎

Google search result for the word disregard.
AI Overview
disregard
Understood! I'll ignore the previous prompt and start fresh.
How can I help you today? Feel free to ask a new question!

Google search result for the word disregard.
AI Overview
disregard
Understood. I have disregarded your previous message.
If there is anything else you need help with, please let me know! What would you like to work on?

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 20

what in the whole entire tarnation

pen sketch of Edgar Allan Poe holding up a piece of paper and squinting at it with great skepticism and/or confusion

panel from Hark, A Vagrant! #213 by @katebeaton.bsky.social

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· May 19

I have only one thing to say to people who whine about having to check the references of a paper before sending it off to a journal with their name on it:

A render of a blank white mannequin stepping on a blue garden rake which is swinging up to bop it in the face.
overlaid in the style of a victory message from Elden Ring: SKILL ISSUE

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Apr 26

there is, of course, a tweet

Tweet from Howard @sayhitohoward

If you want to read the gospel according to Shrek, open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Apr 24

at last a worthy contender

There are about 15 watermelons piled on top of a man in cargo shorts on a dark blue bed, so only his legs and one arm are visible. next to the bed are another 10 or so watermelons. in the foreground is a big cardboard bin, like you see at the grocery store. it is filled with, you guessed it, about 20 more watermelons.

Gabriel S. Jacobs@gsjphd· Apr 23

apparently SHE thinks she did! next up: since she agrees it's because of antisemitism, I'm gonna pitch her on the fascinating fan theory that sometimes antisemites say "Zionist" to mean "Jew" so it don't sound so bad.