If you use Audible, my lawyers vs dinosaurs novel is currently on sale for $4.50.

I have questions about the bouncy house in front of the local fireworks dealership.

I was not able to predict any element of this headline based on the previous elements.

"Well there's your problem, right there."

If you have an Audible subscription, my lawyers vs dinosaurs techno-legal-horror novel is currently over 80% off and going for $2.78.

I got to edit upcoming romantasy novel A Vision of Flame. Thanks to my helpful comments like, "I demand to know more about the haunted library" and "I think this is technically a love quadrilateral, not a triangle," the prose now sparkle like a really sparkly thing. Me help make words good.

I decree it Self-Promotion Saturday. Check out my most widely read novel, CARRION SAFARI. It's about washed up South African big game hunter Denise DeMarco, who has been reluctantly pulled back into the business to hunt a legendary monster. It features Buick-sized bats, like all great literature.

I built a couple of bookshelves for my wife for her birthday. (From a kit, not from scratch.) But I couldn't tell her why I had forbidden her from entering the back room where I had sequestered myself for hours amid the sounds of hammering and heavy thuds.

I wrote a techno-legal-horror novel about lawyers vs dinosaurs. The central premise of "boy, sure would be nuts if powerful people didn't think a big plan all the way through" has been on my mind again for some reason. Consider taking a dose of dinosaur mayhem for whatever weighs on you today.

Inside my dog, there are two wolves. Both just want to convince me to throw her squeaky ball.

Step off, AI scam emails. Annoying people with my book is MY job. If I ever market my lawyers vs dinosaurs techno-legal-horror novel as full of "universal truths," it means the AI got me, and you will need to find my tomb and drive a stake through my heart before nightfall.

Experimenting with painting monster miniatures continues apace.

When I was a child, I had a Creepy Crawler Thing Maker, that allowed me to make weird little creatures on demand. I've been chasing that high for 30 years, but the 3D printer I recently acquired scratches a similar itch. Been haphazardly painting some little monster dudes, much to my own delight.

Behold the least competent scam email I have ever received.

Our dog fully and utterly believes she is in Turbo Ninja Stealth Mode™ for securing any table scraps if she positions herself like this.

This is Bart. He's a magnificent dingus and professional tripping hazard.

Took my wife to see her favorite Christmas movie in concert at the Oregon Symphony. For reasons unknown, she seemed to enjoy this more than when I took her to see Army of Darkness earlier this year.

Sometimes our dog enters what our house refers to as "meth jackal mode" if we don't throw the ball quickly enough.

"Excuse me Sir, but have you considered sparing an entire fully loaded pizza or two for your most humble and faithful companion?"

Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a hate crime against Italian-Americans.

Sometimes you find interesting things roaming around Google Maps. "Free Safe Medical Male Circumcision Services Available Here."

I'm deeply sad to report that our cat passed away this morning. My wife adopted her from the shelter a couple years before we met, so she's always been part of our household together. Here she is, doing what she loved most, casting disdain down upon the rest of the house from a comfy spot.

My wife has to be at work today even though most of her colleagues are currently out. That means she gets to enjoy a thoroughly ominous work environment today.

Dinosaur necktie? Activated. Staff room? Stocked with candy. Halloween spirit? Sensible and work appropriate until 5:00, followed by seven straight hours of goblin time.

Another entry in the "questionable understanding of IQ" file. I present this work-mandated training module which has decreed that my "cybersecurity IQ" is 4,745. Seems scientifically rigorous to me.

Made a friend on the way to work today.

IT'S HAPPENING.

My wife had never seen Army of Darkness. She now regrets having seen Army of Darkness. My work here is done.

This shot of Astoria, Oregon is probably the best photo I'll ever take. Mostly because nearly all the photos I take are unflattering pictures of my dogs that I think are funny.

I was going through some old pictures and found this one. My wife had a small legion of faithful crows at our previous address, and she would regularly summon them by throwing a bag of peanuts into the yard. I'd be curious to know if that flock still tells the legend of the peanut lady.